a bit of history · friends and loved ones

enough

melodyannday2 Comments

I have this sweet tooth.  It is pretty demanding of me. “Must have treat now!” (hear that quote in the voice of cookie monster)  But, you probably already knew that, based on how often I post recipes involving sugar and chocolate.

At any rate, I’ve recently been listening to the new Sara Groves album, “Floodplain” and on it there is a song that has grown to be my favorite.  In the song, “Enough” Sara refers to “honey in the rock.” Yesterday I realized I wanted to know what she was talking about.  The lyrics she’s written are so necessary for me right now.

First, here are the words to the song that I have come to love:

Late nights, long hours
Questions are drawn like a thin red line
No comfort left over
No safe harbor in sight

Really we don’t need much
Just strength to believe
There’s honey in the rock,
There’s more than we see
In these patches of joy
These stretches of sorrow
There’s enough for today
There will be enough tomorrow

I decided to look in Scripture, because I felt like she was probably referring to something there, in God’s Word.  Initially I found a lot of honey references to the Promised Land  flowing with milk and honey.  And, the Psalms reference to the law of the Lord being sweet as honey.  But, then I found something else.

In Deuteronomy 31, when Moses’ leadership of Israel was coming to an end, he was passing on this BIG job for Joshua to do:

23 And the Lord commissioned Joshua the son of Nun and said, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall bring the people of Israel into the land that I swore to give them. I will be with you.”

Following that, in chapter 32, Moses sang this song as a reminder to the people of Israel.  A song of hope and salvation and God’s faithful provision.  (This is just a part of Moses’ song, from v 10-13)  And in the middle of this prayer-song, I found it:

“He found him in a desert land,
    and in the howling waste of the wilderness;
he encircled him, he cared for him,
    he kept him as the apple of his eye.
11 Like an eagle that stirs up its nest,
    that flutters over its young,
spreading out its wings, catching them,
    bearing them on its pinions,
12 the Lord alone guided him,
    no foreign god was with him.
13 He made him ride on the high places of the land,
    and he ate the produce of the field,
and he suckled him with honey out of the rock,
    and oil out of the flinty rock.

The Israelites were so forgetful and doubtful.  Often I’m just as doubt-filled and needy as them.  They knew they were the apple of His eye.  They knew He had sustained them in the dessert with manna each day.  “He suckled them with honey out of the rock,”  And still they needed a song to remind them of His love and care and His unchanging faithfulness.

I find myself standing on the edge of a journey.  It isn’t new territory.  I’ve been here before.  And yet, I’m staring out at this stretch of road ahead it looks awfully dark and shadowy- gloomy and sad, maybe even treacherous.  I don’t feel a bit entitled or demanding, as I sometimes imagine the Israelites to have been.  I’m not terribly courageous or strong like Joshua when I whisper, “Are you out there Lord?  Because today’s the day. I need to know you’re going to be there…”

As I tiptoe out into the valley today, the words from the Scripture above, and from the song are encouraging my heart.  He has cared for me from the very beginning as the apple of His eye.  His provision has been more than sufficient in the past and it will be again.  Daily, I can look forward to the sweet comfort of His presence and the fellowship of His suffering.

His promises are firm.  His Word is sure. He is enough.

a bit of history

the best laid plans…

melodyannday4 Comments

I wasn’t going to say anything.  Really, I thought I’d keep it to myself.  It is easier if I don’t have to talk about it with people, because then I don’t have to believe it.  Seriously.   I’d rather pretend it away into oblivion.

After all, I’m a planner.  And this was not a part of the 2016 blueprints.

Two weeks from tonight my yearly appointment at Vanderbilt with my specialist, Dr. Zic will be over.  Some of you probably know that I have an unusual form of lymphoma which manifests in my skin, and results in strange lesions that I have to treat with a fancy high-powered (yucky) steroid.

I did not have any of those “spots” in 2015.  I was able to ignore my condition and pretend like I’m completely healthy.  So, on Christmas Eve, when I realized I had not just one but two spots that had popped up, I was a bit shocked.  This was not a part of the plan for 2016, let alone my Christmas.  I guess it was a good thing my appointment was already on the calendar.

Friends, the good news is – I know the routine. I know the meds my physician will assign, I know how the treatment works and all that it entails.  The bad news:  I don’t like it.  It works well, but I don’t feel the greatest.  Worse: I’m grumpy (read: especially with my loved ones at home while doing school) sometimes.  UGH.  And even worser than worse: I’m reminded once again that there are so many unknowns with this diagnosis.

You know that Scripture in Jeremiah?  The one that says,  “For I know the plans I have for you… ”   I know that’s a popular Scripture to repeat during a difficult trial, but I’ve realized I’ve been thinking of it all wrong!   While I do understand what it actually says, I personally have been wanting it to mean this: “For I know the plans you’ve been making Melody, and I’m totally on board with you…” I wish it weren’t true- but it is the way I’ve been interpreting it.  It let’s me have some control that way.

But here’s the reality: I’m not in charge.  All the manipulating in the world isn’t going to make my future turn out the way I want.  I mean, it could turn out that way, but not because I earned it or managed to make it.  My little, teensy- tiny piece in God’s story is HIS design.  Who I become, as a result of this small trial, is what fits best into that great big story He is narrating.

Who would I be if not for the faith it requires to walk this road with Him? Who would I be if I had only a life without this disease, this disease which allows me the joy of drawing closer to Him and knowing Him more intimately?   And who will the people around me become, if in all of these things I radiate His joy?

One thing is for sure : His plan is greater than the one I had written down in my planner for 2016, especially if it means He is drawing me closer to Himself or if my life will bring Him glory.

Heavenly Father, I’m laying aside my plans. (And You most of all know how hard that is for me to say.)  Keep me on board with your will in 2016, even when it is hard and I don’t like it.  Hold me close, and help me to trust You. Thank you for the grace and the joy I know you have prepared for me on this journey – they are gifts only You can give!  Amen.

 

 

friends and loved ones · who knows?

a joyful 2016

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We were standing in the bathroom, a few days ago, New Year’s Eve to be exact – it was Mackenzie and me.  Her fluffy white towel wrapped snuggly around her waiting for me to help her get dressed.  I had just brought in her clothes and she was frowning.

What had I brought her to wear?

From my perspective: it was a brand new outfit from Gymboree (purchased on sale of course) and it was super cute – sparkling pink corduroys and the matching lavender and pink striped shirt.  I thought for sure she’d love it – girly, but simple.

From her perspective: It was plain.  Her favorite shirt was in her dresser drawer, and this wasn’t it.  The stripes were boring and even though it was brand new, it wasn’t enough.  frown. frown. frown.

After long conversation, she put it on because she had to, (because I’m the mama) but not with a happy contented heart. Truthfully, it made me sad because I shopped and purchased those clothes for her, because I love her and had her “likes” (or dislikes as the case may be) in mind.

The new year came into view later that day, but I kept thinking about that little exchange with my baby girl.  She and I are so alike.

You know, I wore 2015 around like my daughter in her least favorite shirt.  It wasn’t my favorite year- I’ve seen better (or so I’ve thought without realizing it, till just now).  I wore it because I had to. And although I tried to be grateful for the blessings from my Father’s hand, I can say I was not extraordinarily content or happy about them.  I’m always looking for the next better or exciting gift, even though He gave so much – and it was exactly what He planned for me, knowing my needs.

I didn’t realize how insulting my behavior in 2015 was, until my daughter didn’t like the new shirt I provided…  Thankfully, my Heavenly Father is gracious and gentle with me ; His mercies are fresh and new, here at the beginning of 2016!

Long lists of resolutions are not really my thing, but as the New Year rolled in, I asked the Lord to help me be grateful and content in Him.  That may mean any manner of blessings and trials alike, I realize that.   It is my prayer that living a thankful, satisfied life will bring a deeper, abiding joy in Him this 2016.

 

friends and loved ones · in my kitchen

Belated Christmas Cookies

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Several years ago, I had the opportunity to taste a delightful frosted sugar cookie at a baby shower.  My dear friends, the Zeglen girls, had made them – and they were better than a cookie you could buy at a bakery!  Their mom, Dianne, generously gave me the recipe and I’ve attempted several times to make them.  But, I’ve never felt like mine were as yummy as theirs!

Well, this Christmas I tried again.  And do you know? They finally turned out just right! I made cookies shaped like Christmas trees, hearts, mittens, candy canes – and of course doggies, in honor of our sweet Lily!

This Christmas season has been so busy, I haven’t had the opportunity to post much to my blog, but – I didn’t want the season to pass without sharing this recipe.  If you don’t attempt them now, there’s always Valentine’s Day, or Easter – or any occasion that needs cookies!    It is definitely worth the effort – I think they may be a new favorite for me!

Cookie Ingredients
2 cups unsalted butter, softened
2 large eggs
2 cups granulated sugar
3 teaspoons clear vanilla extract
3 Tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon almond extract (you could use butter flavored extract also)
5 1/2 cups all purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt

Makes 30-40 rollout cookies, depending on cutter size.

Instructions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy in electric mixer.  Beat in egg and extracts and milk.  Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in another bowl and add gradually to butter mixture one cup at a time.  Do NOT chill dough.  Divide into two large balls.  Roll and cut using floured cutters.  Bake on ungreased cookie sheet 6-7 minutes.

Icing Ingredients
5 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup light corn syrup
3 tbsp meringue powder
extra water if necessary
extract of choice

Instructions
Place all ingredients in the mixer and beat adding water as you go for the consistency you desire.  For fluffy icing, used in cakes, beat water and egg whites or meringue powder first, then add rest of ingredients. You can pipe on and spread the icing, or you can dip the cookie-top in the icing.

(This icing freezes easily and keeps several weeks in the fridge)

Enjoy!  And a belated Merry Christmas from my kitchen to yours!

friends and loved ones

Merry Christmas! (my version of a Christmas letter.)

melodyannday2 Comments

Well, Its December 23.

Every year, right about now (that’s the day before Christmas Eve) I begin to feel terribly guilty because I didn’t mail Christmas cards.  I do not create a fancy Christmas letter to send with yuletide greetings or a lovely photo of my family wearing matching christmas sweaters.

This year, in the midst of my guilt-laden disappointment, I realized I could blog instead. (what a novel idea, right?)  And so, I give you the cheater’s version of a Christmas card!

You know, 2015 has been a fairly eventful year for us around here.

Let’s see:  the kids are growing up far more quickly than I’d like.  Emily began playing drums about a year ago, and she is becoming quite the musician.  Her love for drumming may only be equaled to her love for science.  She is loving the high school biology course she is taking this year!  I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman she is.

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Isaac is nine and a half – and loves all things wii, nintendo 3ds and other technology related stuff – which he understands more than I do, and with half the effort!  He has an amazing mind for math and I love watching him grow and learn every day.  His name was no mistake – he keeps us all laughing daily!DSC_0710

Mackenzie is my feisty little girl – she’s 6 and most of the time she’s in charge, or at least believes she is.  We began piano lessons this fall and she seems to be a natural. She is becoming all things artsy and creative! She loves to surprise me with little notes and hand drawn pictures around the house that say things like, “I love mom.” melts. my. heart.

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As for Michael and I – we both turned 40 this fall. So far we don’t mind it too much.  We’ve changed up a few habits so we can be healthier and enjoy the life we’ve been given.  I ran my first 10K race in June, and I’m hoping to run another in 2016! Who knows?  Michael may join me!

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Of course, we continue all kinds of musical endeavors: I enjoy teaching lessons,  accompanying and directing the children’s choir at our church.  Michael has had opportunities to travel and play different gigs which he always finds rejuvinating.  You may be wondering about Michael’s shop… he is close to the finish line!  A little drywall mudding and sanding, maybe some paint,  a little flooring and he’ll be on the way to making his first guitar!

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One of the high points of the year was my folks relocating from Grand Rapids to Chattanooga. They now live just  5 miles from us!  What a wonderful time it has been including them in our life here and sharing with them important Chattanooga experiences (like Champy’s – fried chicken is very important)!

It is my prayer that you will experience the presence of Immanuel, God with us this Christmas and in the coming year.

Merry Christmas!

Melody

in my kitchen

accidental pot roast heaven

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Its not so often that I post “main dish” types of recipes on here. Actually, it is very rare!  But, tonight I must!

Dinner this evening at our house was scheduled for pot roast.  Usually that would include using a lipton’s beefy onion soup mix.  Which, when I set out to put my roast into my pot early this afternoon, it was nowhere to be found.  So, I stood there with all my ingredients on the counter, except my seasonings and thought.

What do I do now?

Well,this is what I did.  I was spontaneous, which that is NOT a word I would ever use to describe myself in the kitchen.  But, this turned out so totally different than normal, with no recipe.  In fact, it was so delicious that I may not make the old pot roast ever again.

Accident Pot Roast

Ingredients:
Beef – 3lbs, any cut good for roasting slow in the oven.
1/2 jar of chili sauce
bag of carrots, peeled and cut into chunks
one large onion, cut in chunks
3 or 4 cups of beef broth
2 tbsp of diced garlic
salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:
I put a few tablespoons of olive oil in the bottom of my dutch oven over medium high heat on the stove – when it was hot, I added the garlic and onion in the pan and let them cook for a minute or two.  Then I added the beef and let it brown on the bottom and top.    I lowered the heat to simmer and added the chili sauce, beef broth and carrots.  I let it simmer lightly on the stovetop for about 30 minutes.  Then, I put it in the oven at 275, that’s right really low, and I let it cook in there for about 4.5 hours or so.

The meat was super tender, it just fell apart in the pot-  and the flavor was DELICIOUS!  I’d offer to give you a taste test, but there’s not much left!  If you make it sometime soon, I hope you enjoy it as much we did!

 

friends and loved ones · who knows?

let down

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I stared at my computer.  In a show down with an unacceptable email I had received, I squinted my eyes and glared at the screen.  Slamming my laptop shut, I stormed away.  I was angry.  No, infuriated.

In a few minutes, I came back and opened the computer again.  Nope.  still mad.  And I walked away again.

I tried to sleep on it.

The next morning, I was still irritated when I tried to think through the situation.  You know that phrase, “things will look better in the morning?”   Yeah, that isn’t always true.    A friend had let me down.  BAM.  no explanation. no understanding.  So, there I was high and dry with no comfort and no immediate solution.

When Michael came home from work I tried to discuss it with him, but I didn’t find him as sympathetic as I’d hoped. humph.

So, I went to my room to pout and pray about it.  Pouring my frustrated little heart out, so let down and frazzled by it all,  I found myself wanting the Savior of the world to snatch away any blessings he may have given this friend… As my prayer turned into more and more of a rant, I’m pretty sure I heard Him say quietly,

“Sometimes you let me down…”

oh.  shoot.

“And I still forgive you…”

As I sat on my bed I tried my best to let these thoughts settle down deep in my heart.

What is the real truth?  The only One who has the right to call out sin, and  bad decisions and sinful actions or  in-action, is the truly perfect and sinless Jesus Christ.  And what do I know of my relationship with Him? He does not point out my mistakes and errors and sin with condemnation or anger.  Although His anger would be justified after the sacrifice He has made.

No, in mercy He reaches towards me with love ; with a gentle hand He chastises me and He draws my heart to repentance.  And He does this, He forgives, so that as I know forgiveness I also can forgive others.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving me and forgiving me no matter how many times I let you down.  Help me to give that same loving forgiveness to others with a tender heart.   amen.

 

in my kitchen

Almost just like Skyline Chili

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This ol’ girl is my favorite.  She’s a workhorse, but the best for soups and stews.  I hope she never dies.

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Here are the secret ingredients.  I understand your fears.  But they are fantastic in this recipe.  I promise.

 

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Not the best photo, but doesn’t that chili look fantastic!?!?

 

Because it is fall now, and it is cold out (and by cold I do mean it is getting down into the 40’s) – I figured it was time to share this recipe. After all, you may need to put on a big pot of some kind of  hot and steamy soup or stew for the family over the holidays!  If you like the flavors of Skyline Chili, you should definitely try this!  If you don’t know what Skyline Chili is, you should definitely try this.  It is a good diversion from the normal chili, consisting of chili powder and peppers and kidney beans.  Please don’t let the cocoa and cinnamon scare you away – it really is super yummy!

Almost just like Skyline Chili

(this recipe was found on the chewnibblenosh blog, but I edited it for my purposes! )

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups low-sodium beef broth
  • 1 1/2 (16 oz.) can tomato sauce
  • 3/4 cup tomato paste
  • 3 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
  • 3 Tbsp. chili powder
  • 3 tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 tsp. ground cumin
  • 2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. ground cloves
  • 2 tsp. ground allspice
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 large yellow onion, diced
  • 3 lbs. lean ground beef
  • 1 large can of pinto beans (drained and rinsed)
  • 1 can of red kidney beans (drained and rinsed)

Instructions:

Brown the beef, then add and cook onion.  drain the fat from the beef.  Stir together the rest of the ingredients (only half of the beans), then combine with beef and onion mixture in a large pot.  after cooking a short time, use a “magic wand” and mash up the ingredients until there’s no chunks.  Add the rest of the beans and simmer for a while.

friends and loved ones · who knows?

love your neighbor at Aldi’s

melodyannday3 Comments

I went to Aldi’s today for a little pre-Thanksgiving grocery shopping.  The only word I can think of to describe the trip is mad house.  My Aldi was packed with crazed holiday shoppers buying every manner of food items you might need for the big feast.   It was almost a grocery cart traffic jam.

No less than three times I ran into (almost literally) the same woman who seemed to be shopping for the same items as me, except she may have been shopping for a family three times the size of mine.  Each time I tried to say something friendly and smile.    Initially she was unable to respond in kind.   But, by the last time we met we discussed the pros and cons of the Aldi’s freezer selections.  As I was pushing my cart thru the parking lot to get my bags to the car, I ran into her one more time.  She waved and smiled and I wished her a happy thanksgiving.

First, I want to say I’m not a stalker.  Second, being outgoing is not typically difficult for me.  Though I grew up a bit north of here in the midwest, my family has taught me this: be kind to people in your path.  Look folks in the eye.  Speak kindly.  That kind of thing.   Having made sure you understand those specifics, I wanted to share what I realized today.  North, south, east, west – I’ve noticed people are tense.  Even here in the south, where it is typical, even expected that you would make conversation in the grocery line, people are not at ease in public the way we used to be.   Fear is no respecter of geography or cultural norms.

Did I mention the lady I spoke to looked like it was possible she might be from the middle east?  I can’t say for sure whether she was or wasn’t…

Honestly, I’ve walked on our city’s streets and wondered if there’ll be an attack here, like there was in Paris.  And I know it is not an impossibility.   I’m not paralyzed by my fears and anxiety. Not exactly.  I’m just not as friendly as I was.  Instead I tiptoe around afraid.  And worse, I’m suspicious.    This is the opposite of loving my neighbor.

Recently I’ve been bombarded on Facebook and social media and news outlets about refugees coming to our country, and what our Christian response to them should be.  It seems ridiculous for me to be thinking about housing refugees when I become extremely nervous just seeing a person of middle eastern decent in public.  And don’t tell me I’m alone in this: I’m not the only one who is afraid of all the scenarios of “what might happen.”

Today, I began to understand that loving my neighbor has to start in the checkout line at the grocery store.  It is moving beyond my anxious heart and believing that I must love those God allows me to meet.  Will I ever use my home or my resources to show God’s love to Syrian refugees?  I truly don’t know.  I will leave that to Him and try to move obediently into opportunities He gives.   But, I will love my neighbor as He commanded starting now – even at Aldi’s.

 

Matthew 22:36-40   “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”   Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

friends and loved ones · shop talk

leave the light on

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Several weeks ago my husband decided to run conduit in our backyard, ending at the bottom of the steps that lead up to his workshop.   He has been working on this project, building an elaborate lamp post for the better part of two months.

At one point I said to him, “There are so many things you could be working on now.  We are so close to you making a guitar.  Why are you wasting time on this light fixture?”  I was a tad bit frustrated, in case you can’t tell. If it were up to me, I’d have him floundering in the dark.  But, calmly he said, ” I need the light.  It is dark out there at night.  And that’s when I’ll be working in the shop mostly – at night.”  so that settled that, and now – the project is complete.

Now we have a golden glowing lamp giving light to everyone who comes to the shop.

It will come as no surprise to you then, knowing my careless frame of mind, that last week I found myself navigating in the dark.  By my own choice, no less.  Life had become terribly busy, many places to be,  stuff to do and decisions to make.   In the middle of that, social media was lit on fire with disagreements about refugees, politics, devastation and terrorists, christianity, elections and many other dilemmas.  I tell you it caught me off guard;  I was completely blindsided and could not see straight.

The problem is, it wasn’t until several days into the struggle of trying to separate my emotions, thoughts and beliefs that I realized : I was in the dark.  Normally as my days pass, my schedule includes opening God’s Word – I keep the lamp lit on my path.   However – in the midst of getting busy, I had let the light go out.  I hadn’t made the time to read and think on His Words and His thoughts.

Sometimes I forget just how important it is to keep His Light pointed at my steps – and I let myself stumble in the dark.   But I do remember learning this Scripture and it’s importance when I was a child:

“Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. ”  Psalm 119:105

As promised, His Word glows in my heart and my mind – illuminating my way.  I can’t tell you I’ve figured everything out and have all the answers.  But, I do know decisions become clear and right thoughts are brought to light in the presence of His Words.   God’s Word is what keeps me from fumbling around in the night;  it guides every single step. I’ve just gotta remember to leave the light on.