His resolution was firm.  “I do not want pumpkin pie! My tummy will not like it!”  This is what Isaac told me during our discussion regarding the Thanksgiving menu.  “Okay…. So, what do you and your tummy want?”  I asked him.  “Pumpkin cake.  I want pumpkin cake.” And he ran off down the hall before I could respond.

Well, being the confident mommy-baker that I am, I sat down at my computer to find a pumpkin flavored cake- type of dessert that would please my little boy and his tummy.  That wouldn’t be a problem and I always enjoy trying something new.  As I searched a few of my favorite “go-to” websites for baking, I heard Isaac talking with wild excitement to Emily.

“Emily!  Guess what?!?  Mommy is going to make the big chocolate cake shaped like a pumpkin with lots of orange frosting!”

um.  Houston… we have a problem…

I realized right then and there that what my son had requested and what I had agreed to were two very different things.  And now, I needed a completely different game plan.  I probably should have asked a few more questions about the cake he wanted.  What he was hoping for was a special cake my sister-in-law makes at Thanksgiving time and brings to our family dinner. Admittedly, he is always very excited to see that cake make its appearance.  The cake I am making for tomorrow is nothing like that cake. I don’t have the experience, time or equipment to make that cake.  But, my cake is chocolate.  And it will have orange frosting.

Working around my kitchen this afternoon, I was reminded of something.  again. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father who knows and understands me. I’m sure I’ve had these thoughts before, but it is important to rehearse, here at the beginning of Thanksgiving.  As a mom, I am not able to decipher every wish that my children have.  Sometimes I am not able to do what is best. And sometimes I make mistakes.  But God, my heavenly Father is a much better parent than I am.  He understands every request I make- even if I don’t use the right words – even if I don’t know how to ask-  and He blesses me again and again, beyond my wildest imaginations.

from Psalm 31:

¹⁹ Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!

No confusion here:  I am a blessed woman. The goodness and the lovingkindness He shows to me as His child is beyond amazing. My heart is grateful. What a beautiful way to begin this season of Thanksgiving!

Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving to everyone!

                             My favorite little ‘pumpkin cake’ boy!

At the age of nine, I had one of the most memorable summers of my life.  I can still remember how it felt, staying with my grandparents for a few weeks in Ottumwa, Iowa.  Hot, humid, hazy days gave way to only slightly cooler evenings.  The sunsets were deeply golden and purple, so much so that I, a nine year old little person wondered if the sky was permanently dyed through and through, never returning to the old faithful shades of blue.  You might catch a lightening storm in the distance, always a dazzling display no matter how regularly it occurred.

And then there were the fireflies.

Sitting outside on the davenport, (that was what my great grandmother (GG) called the rocking couch that was on the porch) we would watch quietly, waiting for that first flicker.  And there it was, one, two, three and another and another, their lights gently, lazily blinking when they felt like it; never on cue.  The discovery was followed by my sister, my cousins and I clammering around, begging GG for a jar, so that we could catch a few.

Nothing so simple, yet so satisfying can compare to those beautiful summer evenings, surrounded by God’s beauty and my loved ones.   The memory of it even now brings a unique peace and contentment to my heart, which is a good thing.  I find I’m in need of a firefly summer.

At nine, I didn’t remember thinking I was missing anything.  No pools or beaches, except maybe one or two trips to the city pool.  No shopping sprees for new toys or a new summer wardrobe.  Although, I did earn a Pretty in Pink Barbie Doll for completing all of my chores during the month long visit to my GG’s house.  Funny how that summer, with its simple means,  is the one that lives on in my memory.

I’m rehearsing all of this because today I find myself in a state of disappointment.  I was feeling disgraceful as a parent because this summer we will not be providing for our children a pool membership, a summer camp experience, the coolest new summer gear from Target or anything else that might be expected.  Acknowledging this reality put me in a funk.

So, I slinked around the house pouting for a while, doing the dishes, doing the laundry.  Even as the day rolled along, I heard Him saying it.  two simple words. He whispered it first in the laundry room. Later He said it while I was picking up some of Mackenzie’s toys.  He clearly reminded me again while I was making dinner preparations.   When we ran a few errands,  His words seemed to waft into the van on a breeze through my sun roof.   “Be content.”

It seems easier these days, at thirty five to notice the “haves” and “have-nots.”  Being content never seems to be the first thing to cross my mind.

How well He knows that He needs to ask me the hard questions, “Why can’t you live like it is a firefly summer all over again?  Why can’t you find joy here, in the simple things- in the gifts I’ve given you?”

As I stopped to consider, I found this one thing to be true:  I had forgotten the real source of my joy, my contentment.  Its not my stuff.  Its not my children or my husband.  Its not my work.

It is my Redeemer.

Not long ago my sweet daughter gave me a blank coffee mug, with a pen that I could use to decorate it, and then bake on the design.  She made a suggestion that I put one of my favorite scripture verses on the mug and I followed her smart advice.  Standing there in my kitchen today, holding my work of art, I stared at my mug.  and this is what I saw:

“My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to You, I whom you have redeemed.”  Psalm 71:23

I am able to find real peace and joy when I dwell on The One who has redeemed me.  From this place of rest, true contentment settles in and all of my cares and worries drift away.  I can enjoy the simplicity of the season, God’s best gifts to me: my loved ones and His creation.  especially the fireflies.

Two years ago today my life turned upside down…  But first, let me tell you the whole story, from the beginning…

There comes a time in every mama’s life when she feels its time.  Time to take down the baby crib, sort thru the teeny tiny clothes and give away all of the infant paraphernalia that has taken over the home.  Over the spring of 2008, I arrived at these same notions and decided to give most of our infant things away. Maternity clothes, infant clothes, car seat, bouncy seat, stroller, high chair: all gone.  And not just across town to a friend on loan.  No, we gave it all to missionaries taking necessities to Africa.

Michael and I were pleased to make the donation. We had Emily and Isaac.  Our family was complete, or so we thought.   That was in May.  Not long after, it seemed our thought patterns were changing, our hearts were opening…  Was there a member of our family missing?

In September we found out that indeed, someone was missing.  We were having a baby.  It was unnerving and exciting all at once… many things were out of order, a lot needed to be done, but, there was no doubt; our Heavenly Father was with us, bringing the peace that only comes with His unmistakable presence. Uncertainties were replaced with calm all along the way…

Two years ago today I went in for my 36 week check up just like normal.  My OB, a wonderful physician, came into the examining room.  He’s a good humored man, with a quick wit and always a joke on his lips. So, I knew something was wrong when he wasn’t smiling.  I was escorted to a room where I was put on a monitor for an hour.  And in case you’ve never been pregnant, I will tell you that an hour is just enough time to make a girl terribly nervous.

He came back to the room and kneeled down next to the recliner where I was trying to relax…  I’ll never forget the conversation,

“We’re going to put you on the schedule for tomorrow.”  and I said,

“Oh you want me to come back again to use the monitor?”

“No.  No – I need you to go to the hospital tomorrow and have this baby…”

silence.

But, I felt a light breeze blow through the room, that same familiar presence…

And do you know… the next day,  four weeks early, without a single complication our beautiful baby girl was born into our family.  Mackenzie Georgia Day.  I still remember holding her for the first time, and the peace that came gently whispering through the room.   It was Him – I couldn’t miss it.

Since then, its been an amazing 24 months watching our baby girl grow and learning how to be her parents. I’ve had moments where I wished I could have a “do-over”.  Other times I’ve wanted to play the “skip” card and move on to something easier.  After many sleepless nights, a few grumpy days, lots of giggles, a literal ton of dirty diapers and heaps of laundry, we are here.   two years old.

How did we make it to two?  It is only the loving kindness and mercy of a Heavenly Father who hovers in the room, bringing life and hope when we need it most.  Regardless of what else is in store with this sweet baby doll, He is with us, to help us make it to three years, to four, to five and so on, til forever.  That is His promise.

from John 14:

²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

As we host our small family gathering to celebrate this lovely little girl’s life with a “pretty pink party” – not only will we rejoice in this remarkable life.  It will also be a moment for this mama to remember the goodness and love of our Heavenly Father who has kept His promise to this little family.

It was spring on Hines Crescent where my family lived in London, Ontario…  We had moved there almost two years before.  Life had been a bit unsettled since then, but one person made everything else okay.  GG.  My Great Grandmother, GG, came to visit every spring and this year was no exception.    All was right with the world when she came to town.

At this time in my life all of my energy and focus was put towards playing the piano.  I was eight, my hands were tiny, but I soaked the information up from piano lessons like a sponge and I practiced like I was eighteen.   GG was my biggest fan and my best encourager.  I remember her sitting in the living room, working at the daily crossword from the paper while I played the same songs again and again.

GG was a pianist in her own right and she seemed to understand my love for the instrument.   One day I confided in her, telling her of my dream to be the pianist at church for the hymns.  Immediately, she pulled out one of our colorful paperback chorus books and helped me  find one song to work on.  She said it would be fairly easy for me:  in this book the song was in G major.  I’d start with the melody line and play it until I could add in all of the notes in both hands.  The song certainly wold be helpful in my future.

Over and over I played it.  Sometimes she’d even sing along, and I can still hear it now…

“When I survey the wondrous cross, on which the prince of glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride…”

Truthfully, at 8 I had no idea what those words meant.  But with the many sins and mistakes that have marked my journey, all of these years later I have come to realize she was right: the song would be meaningful in my future.  The lyrics to this anthem are truth for every believer’s heart and a guide post for each follower’s path.

This Easter weekend they have taken over my mind as I take time to look on the cross, His sacrifice and His love for me.  The forgiven life that I live, the daily grace I experience has nothing to do with what I’ve done.  Only His life given, His blood shed, His victory over death: this is an amazing, divine love to behold.

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

¹³ He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.  (from Colossians 1)

Thank you Lord, for the gift of your righteousness, purchased with your own life’s blood.  I am left undone, knowing this love you have for me.  Keep my heart tender, my eyes focused on the cross and your sacrifice, today and always.  amen.

md

There’s a song in my history.  So long ago it was sung to me by my great grandmother, GG. I can still hear her voice lilt along as only she could.   It seems like millions of years ago, but the song is fresh in my heart.

Fast forward those millions of years to, well, last night. bed time.  Mackenzie’s room. It has become apparent that my sweet baby girl loves music, and has a memory like a steel trap.  She has now accumulated a long repertoire of titles that she prefers for Michael and I to sing.  As we’re trying to help her relax into sleepy mode, she is making requests.  The favorite these days:  its that same song from my childhood.  It goes like this….

“I love you, a bushel and a peck.  A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.  A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap… doodle oodle oodle, doodle oodle oodle, doodle oodle doo doo doo…”

“again!”  she says.

I cherish each moment, more than happy to oblige my sweet baby doll.

There are times in life when I need my Heavenly Father to sing to me.  Over and over He has taught me the song. I should know it well by now.  But, sometimes I forget how it goes.  I can’t remember the tune, or I’m tongue tied. Life has its way of roaring in unexpectedly, knocking the song right out of me. Often I find myself sitting, trying to think of how the tune sounds…

The good news is:   He delights in me.  Not just that, He whirls around when He thinks of me, rejoicing.  and He promises to whisper the song back to me when I’ve forgotten.    When I ask Him, He keeps singing, just a little longer.

I’ve found the promise of Zephaniah 3 to be true, again and again:

¹⁷ The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

As He sings it to me, my heart is strengthened, I find the peace and calm only He offers.  Slowly but surely, it comes over me, warming me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.  I find my voice again;  I can sing along.

There is a song that He sings to me, and often, when I hear Him, I sing a long.  Its taken from Isaiah 43:1-3.  With confidence, I can sing His promises:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you
And the waves, will not overcome you
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are Mine

When you pass through the fire, you’ll not be hurt
And the flames will not consume you
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are Mine

For I am the Lord your God
I am the Lord your God
I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Thank you Heavenly Father for reminding me how your song goes…  I love it when You sing.