While I was in Homegoods, in the home decor section at the front of the store, looking at throw pillows it happened. On one of the days between Christmas and New years, I found a new calm. Actually, I found the space to be quiet and listen without the general craziness of my people around…
It so happens, (and I take comfort knowing I may not be alone here,) that the holidays twist me up. This year was no exception; the holiday season ended with a great deal of self-talk. Specifically, it was self-talk that didn’t involve much needed conversation with the Holy Spirit, where I ended up believing things that aren’t true. The brokeness of my own heart, complicated relationships, situations I can’t control – they all piled on and wound me tightly into a never-ending tail-spin.
What I find when the “after holiday blues” show up is, I begin trying to fix everything. I want to correct it all. More spinning and spinning. That’s just the position I found myself in while I was looking for some throw pillows: “Oh this pillow looks perfect… Maybe I should call up ‘so and so’ and have a conversation about ‘such and such’…This pillow is super soft… Then I’d say this or that to them, I mean surely that would make things better… ” And on and on it goes, you get the idea.
So, as I was trying to decide between a few different oversized, faux fur, off-white pillows for my bed, I also discovered the quiet moment I needed. The spinning in my head slowed just enough for me to hear Him loud and clear –
“Stop trying so hard. Trust Me. This is not your responsibility.”
“But, if I just… I mean, don’t you want me to…”
“No. You need to trust Me more and do less. I have everything under control.”
“Are you sure I’m not supposed to…”
“I’m positive. Really. You have no idea just how much I’m taking care of you – and all these things. I promise.”
Just like that, my Heavenly Father and Healer, provided the anecdote for my heart and mind. In a moment, the turmoil was over, my heart and mind slowed to a stand-still. For me- as a mama, wife, sister, friend who wants to take care of everyone and everything in her sphere of life – this is probably the most happy, calming, and peaceful instruction I’ve ever been given.
Trust more. Do less.
**Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6**