give it here

The silence was deafening, probably because of what I’d said.  Our conversation had screeched to a halt, and the voice on the other end of the line was quiet.

My friend, who lives far away, had called to share about something that was going on in her life.  It had become big and powerful and she was hurting.  I had listened carefully.  I really had.  And then I told her what I had recently learned.

Because what good is all this painful, jacked-up stuff, if I don’t learn from it?

My personal discovery had come to pass when I was alone one evening.   I had sequestered myself in my bedroom to get something cleared up, and I wasn’t coming out until I did.  You see, I had a lump.  It was a large, thick knot, resting right in the bottom of my stomach.

It wouldn’t go away,  mostly because I wouldn’t let it.

But after two long weeks of carrying that immense and ugly hunk of worry around, I was worn out. completely exhausted.  And in the moments alone in my room, I heard Him say it…

“Give it here.”

He said it gently but firmly, kind of  like I’d say to one of my children if they had something harmful or dangerous in their hands.

Excuses followed.  “But, I don’t know how this is all gonna turn out.  I have to think it over, and I need to plan for all of the hundreds of scenarios that may or may not happen.  I…”

“Hand it over.  It is not good for you.  I don’t want you to have that.”

Then He quietly whispered promises in my ears and I was reminded of what I needed to know most:

He cares for me.  He is in control.  He is all that I need.  And I have no legitimate worry.  period.

from Matthew 6:

³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

and from Matthew 11:

²⁸ Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

And He reached in and pulled that knot out, because He doesn’t want me to have that in the pit of my stomach – and He replaced it with these absolutely glorious assurances of provision and rest; promises that I’m unable to live without.

So, that’s what I told my friend, who was in the middle of the struggle, succumbing to that same fear- knot, “You know, He doesn’t want you to have that knot, right? He wants you to give it to Him.”

Each day as I learn to give it all to Him, there is fresh peace and rest for my soul.   And I’m grateful that He is able to remove what I shouldn’t have and replace it with what I need.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for taking away what I shouldn’t have, and replacing it with what I need.  amen.