I can’t describe my disappointment when I heard that Hostess was going out of business. It was heartbreaking for me. Not because 18,000 people lost their jobs, although that is a depressing thought for all of those employees right around the holidays. Not because my children will probably never eat a twinkie, although word on the street is that the twinkie will survive Hostess’ demise. I was not devastated for either of those reasons.
Its the snowball.
Every time we spent the night with my great grandmother, GG, the hostess snowball, a chocolate covered, cream filled cake covered with marshmallow and coconut, was the favored treat of choice. Who else but GG would feed small children a snowball and coke for a bedtime snack and then manage to get us to go to sleep? Snowballs were soft and moist, sweet and delicious. And we loved them. But not as much as we loved GG.
After looking at a couple of stores last night, I realized I probably wasn’t going to find any snowballs on the shelves of our local grocery stores. GG passed away more than 20 years ago, and there are times my memories of her are crystal clear, as if I spoke with her yesterday. But there are other moments where I can barely summon the sound of her voice. The snowball’s disappearance from the world signals one more piece of GG slipping away.
With these thoughts in my heart, panic ensued. Losing a loved one is hard. Losing the memory of them is even harder.
Last night, I had to come to terms with it. again. “Please Lord,” I begged. “Help me.” How can it possibly be okay to let go of the snowballs? of the summer happinesses from my childhood that I want to hold close to my heart?
After I let my heart ache for a while, and I shed the necessary tears, He reminded me, as He is so faithful to do, “This is not the end. This life is just the beginning. GG is not gone, she’s with Me – and someday you will be too.”
Often I hold on tightly to the material things – as if I all I have is this life and the physical things that adorn it – the snowballs and everything else I enjoy. But, it isn’t true. This earthly, mortal life is just a blip in eternity. I am an eternal being. And so are we all, including my precious GG, who is in Heaven now with our Savior.
The promise of eternity allows me the privilege of letting go without fear or anxiety. Instead, I can focus on the hope He gives; Life everlasting with Him for all the saints- for all who believe .
I find comfort in these words this morning:
from 1Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.
Truthfully, I intend to look a few more places for one last Hostess Snowball, just for fun. But life and happiness don’t hinge on it. If I don’t get to taste one again, and that little piece of GG slips away, I know I will see her again. And there is so much strength and peace in that thought today.
Here’s hoping there are a few snowballs in Heaven – if there are, I know GG and I will have one together some day.
This post is dedicated to my cousins and my sister, from the Young family, who sat at GG’s table late at night eating treats: Danielle and Branson, Nate and Becky and Marilyn Young. and Mason, who didn’t get to meet GG yet- but will someday.