lost in the holes

There are large, two feet deep holes in my backyard.  Twelve of them, to be exact.  Soon there will be 12 concrete pillars, then wood posts attached and a foundation laid across those posts.  In the not too distant future a small workshop will sit on top of that foundation.

It is a dream that got all this dirt moving:  my husband’s dream to build guitars.  I feel sure he’s spent sleepless nights planning what his first guitar will look like, how he’ll construct it and what it will sound like.  I’m positive he thinks about it a lot.  But right now that seems so far away.

The guitar-making isn’t just a dream, it is a desire to follow. And believe me I’ve asked him probably no less than one hundred times, “Are you sure this is what He wants us to do?”  And He affirms, “Yes.  I need to get started.  The rest will work itself out in time.”

But me, I loose sight of that first guitar.  It gets lost in all those holes…

Really, I’m not good at being far-sighted.  I approach life with here and now vision, and that can be difficult sometimes.  Things don’t always work out that way.  God’s timing isn’t forced into particular instants.  In fact it is a lot different.  Often He asks me to begin digging the holes, when I don’t know what the end will be.

Seriously, the Bible is full of lives who moved in obedience without full disclosure, right?  Noah, Moses, Abraham, Joseph, Isaac – the list really goes on. They all took the steps, one at a time, moving forward in what God asked even when it sounded crazy.  And if I want to read some insane stories, any of their scenarios will fit the bill!   But, ultimately they followed, even when it seemed impossible, unreasonable and down-right nuts.

When I look out my kitchen window, to the back left corner of our property, I feel a little bit nutty.  Those holes threaten to open up and swallow me whole.  But, all I have to do is go back and read Hebrews 11 and realize I am in really good company.  This life of being a believer, a Christ follower, is a journey.  It is an every day choice of faith, moving according to His will the best that I can.

As I watch my husband in his back-breaking work, I can let myself be distressed over the future. Or I can submerge myself into the security that faith brings, knowing those  holes belong there.  They are a step of obedience.

¹ Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (from Hebrews 11)

Of course, obedience doesn’t mean I will see the results I think are appropriate. As I follow Him, I have a hope and assurance that He will take and use this humble life for His honor and glory.  Does that mean Michael’s guitar making will be famous?  No.  Will it be a lucrative hobby, at least?  I have absolutely no idea.   It just means that our Heavenly Father has a purpose beyond our earthly understanding – and in simple faithfulness, following Him, we get to be a tiny part of that purpose.

Heavenly Father, Let us be faithful to your calling.  Use us however You see fit, for your glory on this earth.  Keep us on Your path, following your plan step by step.  Help me to get lost in your will, not in the holes.  amen.

*********

Last night, as I lay in bed, I remembered a simple hymn we used to sing when I was young at our church in London.  We would sing it as people were baptized.  It is a choice to follow Him, wherever He leads.    I get just a bit teary as I sing this from my heart, renewing my promise to the Lord this morning .

Where He Leads Me I will Follow

I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
I can hear my Savior calling,
“Take thy cross and follow, follow Me.”

Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow,
Where He leads me I will follow;
I’ll go with Him, with Him, all the way.

I’ll go with Him through the garden,
I’ll go with Him through the garden,
I’ll go with Him through the garden,
I’ll go with Him, with Him all the way.

He will give me grace and glory,
He will give me grace and glory,
He will give me grace and glory,
And go with me, with me all the way.