ugly duckling

My stage debut was in the first grade.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  My teacher asked for people to raise their hands for the part they wanted…  I did and within moments I was given the lead role just like that.  Yep, I requested to be the star of the first grade play; I was “The Ugly Duckling.”

I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t much competition.

The play was mostly just narration; I didn’t have many lines as the duckling, I just had to act the part.  dejected.  lonely.  unloved.   My favorite part was at the end, when I got to “float” around our first grade classroom like a swan. At age six  I remember thinking  what a strange story it was.

Recently I purchased the book, “The Ugly Duckling”  by Hans Christian Andersen to read with my children.  I couldn’t remember the complete story line all of these thirty years later, but felt sure it had something to do with renewal and that possibly it had a few good thoughts for Easter.  But, as I read it out loud today, I almost choked on some of the words.

This story had become all too real just hours before reading it with my children. I found myself in my very own ugly duckling moment. It came from an email, answering an inquiry.  It was a response saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.  You’re not the one, not this time.”  I was completely crushed, feeling dejected.  lonely. unloved.  ugly.

And I  wondered in my smallest, vulnerable, private thoughts, “When will I get to be the swan? ”  Because, even though I want to believe I’m a swan,  regularly I consider myself awkward, unlikeable, even strange…  more of an ugly duck.

But when I read this question from the story of the Ugly Duckling, I was reminded of the gospel.

“What does it matter where one is born if one is hatched from a swan’s egg?”

The truth of God’s Word pierced my heart with those words.    When I became a Christ follower, I was completely renewed and reborn by the love of the Heavenly Father who gave His Son to die for my sins.   No matter what my situation is,  how others make me feel, or if I’m completely rejected in this earthly life, nothing can change who He has made me to be.  In His eyes, I am His beautiful child, loved and adored.   Even if its hard for me to comprehend, I am His amazing creation.

I am a swan.