don’t be afraid to flash it…

Nourished kitchen.  That’s where I found myself  today.  It is a food and cooking/ health and wellness sort of website that gives lots of  tips and pointers for the kitchen.  I like that kind of thing.  I really do.  So, I read.

Today was a competition for viewers. Specifically there were photos submitted of the interiors of peoples’ refrigerators. The competition was called “Flash Your Fridge” rewarding people for the beautiful insides of their ice boxes, all sparkly clean and tidy.  And oh my – it was stunning.  You have never seen such spotless, sterile, but used refrigerators.  Mine has not looked like that since, well since the day we purchased it.

At any rate, in the pictures, they were bright white inside.  Not a drop or stain in sight.  Neatly stacked, color coded containers, with pretty and colorful looking left overs inside them, heavenly- fresh produce in the crisper drawers and drinks in matching dispensers and bottles.  Unreal.  My frigidaire looks nothing like those pictures I saw today.

Typically my appliance looks like organized chaos – probably an all too realistic picture of my life these days.  It is a complicated maze of  sippy cups, takeout containers containing  leftovers and mismatched rubbermaid containers and lids.  But, it is not dirty;  I promise it is not a harbor for mold or other grossness. (It is here, at this point that I would love to share a story about moldy pudding that my mom found at the back of the fridge when I was in grade two…  it had green fuzz.  But I will save that anecdote for another time.)

I would never, ever in a million years “flash my fridge” for the whole world wide web to see. Not ever.

As I skimmed through the pictures, my heart began race.  I actually became flushed and embarrassed at the thought of exposing my fridge’s insides.  Why can’t my insides look like everyone else’s?  When the question is applied to my situation regarding my kitchen appliances it sounds silly.  But, really, it is a question I ask a lot about myself, a creation of God’s own hand.   Regularly I wish away my own uniqueness.

I know that there are a lot of things that God is changing in me.  He is at work in my life and I feel it daily. However, there are also things about me that He loves, that He created especially when He made me:  my sense of humor, my likes and dislikes, my personality, my abilities, my very heart and soul. Even though I’ve been told the truth my whole life, so often these are the parts of me that I am quick to try to hide.  I am prepared to keep the doors closed to my heart so that people won’t see who I really am. Trying to be like everyone else, or to hide who I really am is so difficult and ultimately futile….

from the Message, Psalm 139:

^13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.

God’s Word is clear; He made me.  I am a beautiful creation, specifically designed to be unlike anyone else. This thought is so refreshing to me.  What a relief! I don’t have to be ashamed.  I am who He wanted me to be. With this knowledge I can live bravely, calmly and more sure of myself, which is what I believe He intended all along.