saddle up

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” John Wayne

I couldn’t help but remember this quote today. Not just because its one of my favorites, but because today was a day for saddling up.  Don’t get me wrong – nothing unusual happened.  It wasn’t life and death. There wasn’t a monumental occasion.  No big decisions.  No.

It was just the first day back to school.

Every time we begin a new semester, getting back to the reality of educating my children at home, I have to face my fears.  Today was one of those days.  I considered putting off starting one more day. Crawling out of bed happened just a bit later than usual.  Breakfast was not on time for our regular school schedule. A second cup of coffee was in order. I just wasn’t feeling ready.

As with a lot of other tests in life, I know there are times I have to move out and “saddle up” no matter how I’m feeling.  I know that Home schooling is my calling right now.  I know God’s desire for our family right now is to educate at home.  So today, knowing all of these things, I had to pull out the books and get going even though my emotions were completely out of balance.

It doesn’t matter if I’m afraid that my daughter may not be able to spell words correctly like centerpiece or that my son won’t be able to count, recognize and write the numbers 1 through 20 by the end of the school year.  Whether or not my baby will cooperate, and whether or not Isaac will sit attentively through a whole story is not the issue.  He has made promises to me on those counts.  For my part, I have to take courage, believing that another of my favorite quotes is true…  from the book of Joshua chapter 1.

v.6-9:   Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.  Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

This came at a point in Joshua’s story where he was making the decision whether or not to cross the Jordan with the Israelites.  At the end of this passage He makes the command.  He tells the officers to let everyone know :prepare your belongings and get ready to go.  Head em up, move em out!

In my situation, or any other where there is fear, the courage needed to overcome requires faith + action.  As I move onward and follow the Lord’s direction, He promises strength.  He promises His presence. And that is what I found, today more than ever.   Our school day began this morning with Scripture memory and a Bible story…  As we took time to meditate on Him first, fear was replaced with significant peace and strength.

Thank you Lord, for this reminder today!  Be my strength.  Be my wisdom.  Be my guide.  I surrender this journey once again to you!  amen

(originally written january 18, 2011)