medicine…

I am a stay at home, home schooling mom of three.  That means I am at home a lot.  My human interaction is with people who range in age from 9 down to 1.  I don’t always get to be with adults and have grown up conversation.  Its just the nature of my current situation – I know it will change someday.

A week ago, two of my three were sick – and that made things significantly worse.  We are banned from all of our activities out of the house when the little people are sick. In those times I find myself sort of fading.  I think we made it out to visit the doctor’s office – twice – to get antibiotics for an ear infection and a sinus infection.  Not exactly the fun I was looking for.

I’ll admit it – I was lonely.  Its a bad place to be, really.  I am no fun as a pity party for one.  No fun at all. I found myself in need of medicine.  I didn’t find it until, well, let’s just say I wallowed in my loneliness for a while.

I’m reminded of Elijah and I’ve been drawn to his story…  sometimes I think he and I have a little bit in common. Remember the part of his story, how after a huge victory against the prophets of Baal, he ran a long, long way- was completely exhausted and hid?  Then – God came and found him in his hiding place – a windstorm, a fire, an earthquake all passed by.  But then scripture says God came to him in a gentle whisper.

I don’t really compare to Elijah. The miracles in my home revolve around a baby sleeping all night, a nine year old daughter learning her multiplication tables and a little boy who eats his dinner.  My life isn’t really like his at all except in this way:  I’m really good at telling the Lord I’m all alone, when I’m not.  And God, without exception, in His mercy comes to me.  He shows me that He is what I need.  In my loneliness, I find Him to be the best remedy for my soul.  And that alone is what brings healing for my heart.

In the end, I can’t help but realize that maybe this time my children’s illness was actually the Heavenly Father’s way of drawing me one step closer to Him, so that He can help me become who He needs me to be.  And as they are recovering from their colds and ear infections, my heart is in recovery too.  This is truly the best medicine.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the healing that you bring to our household, for my children – and for my heart as well. Don’t let me grow indifferent to You and Your desire to draw me close.  Its so wonderful to know that I’m never alone, no matter what.  amen.

In the midst of the dark and lonely times, this is the very medicine that I need:

Psalm 139: 1-12

1You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.