a bit of history · friends and loved ones

My sweet baby doll is turning two…

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Two years ago today my life turned upside down…  But first, let me tell you the whole story, from the beginning…

There comes a time in every mama’s life when she feels its time.  Time to take down the baby crib, sort thru the teeny tiny clothes and give away all of the infant paraphernalia that has taken over the home.  Over the spring of 2008, I arrived at these same notions and decided to give most of our infant things away. Maternity clothes, infant clothes, car seat, bouncy seat, stroller, high chair: all gone.  And not just across town to a friend on loan.  No, we gave it all to missionaries taking necessities to Africa.

Michael and I were pleased to make the donation. We had Emily and Isaac.  Our family was complete, or so we thought.   That was in May.  Not long after, it seemed our thought patterns were changing, our hearts were opening…  Was there a member of our family missing?

In September we found out that indeed, someone was missing.  We were having a baby.  It was unnerving and exciting all at once… many things were out of order, a lot needed to be done, but, there was no doubt; our Heavenly Father was with us, bringing the peace that only comes with His unmistakable presence. Uncertainties were replaced with calm all along the way…

Two years ago today I went in for my 36 week check up just like normal.  My OB, a wonderful physician, came into the examining room.  He’s a good humored man, with a quick wit and always a joke on his lips. So, I knew something was wrong when he wasn’t smiling.  I was escorted to a room where I was put on a monitor for an hour.  And in case you’ve never been pregnant, I will tell you that an hour is just enough time to make a girl terribly nervous.

He came back to the room and kneeled down next to the recliner where I was trying to relax…  I’ll never forget the conversation,

“We’re going to put you on the schedule for tomorrow.”  and I said,

“Oh you want me to come back again to use the monitor?”

“No.  No – I need you to go to the hospital tomorrow and have this baby…”

silence.

But, I felt a light breeze blow through the room, that same familiar presence…

And do you know… the next day,  four weeks early, without a single complication our beautiful baby girl was born into our family.  Mackenzie Georgia Day.  I still remember holding her for the first time, and the peace that came gently whispering through the room.   It was Him – I couldn’t miss it.

Since then, its been an amazing 24 months watching our baby girl grow and learning how to be her parents. I’ve had moments where I wished I could have a “do-over”.  Other times I’ve wanted to play the “skip” card and move on to something easier.  After many sleepless nights, a few grumpy days, lots of giggles, a literal ton of dirty diapers and heaps of laundry, we are here.   two years old.

How did we make it to two?  It is only the loving kindness and mercy of a Heavenly Father who hovers in the room, bringing life and hope when we need it most.  Regardless of what else is in store with this sweet baby doll, He is with us, to help us make it to three years, to four, to five and so on, til forever.  That is His promise.

from John 14:

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

As we host our small family gathering to celebrate this lovely little girl’s life with a “pretty pink party” – not only will we rejoice in this remarkable life.  It will also be a moment for this mama to remember the goodness and love of our Heavenly Father who has kept His promise to this little family.

in my kitchen

what’s not on the to-do list…

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I’ve never been the home maker who enjoys cleaning.  Not ever.  I do it because I should, but its the least favorite detail in my job description.  Its not that I don’t care.  I do, I really do.  I just have other things I enjoy more. Like baking.  or just about anything else.  Suffice it to say, I’m always prepared to move cleaning to the bottom of my to-do list.

In particular there is my kitchen sink.  It is a lovely, ivory – colored, sink.  But after all of the many years of use, it is scarred and scraped on the bottom.   I have tried to figure out who thought ivory would be a good choice for a kitchen sink.  It was probably a man who does not do the dishes very often. I tell you I have scrubbed and scrubbed and cleaned and scrubbed some more.  But, no matter what I do, within moments of sparkly satisfaction – it is dull and grimy again.

And please don’t make suggestions.  I have tried them all.  Ceramabrite, Barkeeper’s friend, Lysol kitchen and bathroom spray, Mr. Clean, plain old Clorox, Scrub Free, 409; you name it, I have used it.   I promise.

The problem is I use my sink.  So no matter how much cleaning goes on, there is always cooking and eating happening in my kitchen which means the basin will be dirty shortly, if it isn’t already.

In a perfect world, there would be a cleaning solution that kept things clean always, so I wouldn’t have to work so hard…

As I had these thoughts this morning, up to my elbows in suds in my kitchen, I came to a realization about my own heart.  It is very similar to my sink. Often it is filthy with sin. When I take note of it all, almost subconsciously I set about cleaning.  Somewhere along the line I began to believe that I can better myself, so, out comes my scrub brush of lofty, humanistic ideals along with my cleaning solution of good works and I get started on the task at hand.   After all, I’m responsible for my guilt and my sin aren’t I?  Surely I need to do something to be absolved of it all…  Oh how much I do, solely as an effort to gain favor with God, hoping the stains of guilt will be removed…

But that is the opposite of the truth from God’s word.  It is impossible for me to live, on this side of the fall, without sin.  I can not, by my own handiwork, make myself clean.  “There is none righteous, no not one!”   But the good news of the Gospel is this:  I am made clean by His work on the cross and the blood that He shed.  My heart is thoroughly cleansed by the washing and regeneration of the Holy Spirit.  Its the ultimate in Scrub Free.  His cleansing is the only possible solution that allows me to be free of all my guilt-ridden works.

How I love this significant reminder in Ephesians 2.  I think its one of my favorite passages of all…

4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

No more scouring. No more laboring for favor.  Cleaning my heart no longer has a place on my to-do list.  I am free indeed to live the life He has called me to live, by the power of the Holy spirit who has made me clean. hallelujah and amen!

friends and loved ones

Collaboration

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Today my daughter and I attended a piano concert to see the Pope -Kantorski duo perform. Emily and I were entranced by their ability to play so intricately and stay together. It was a testimony to their hours and hours of playing together, learning each others thoughts, understanding intentions. What we witnessed was truly a beautiful thing.

At the end of the concert Ann Pope was explaining one of the pieces and she said, “This really is a work of collaboration.” And with those words I began to think. I am not a part of a famous piano duo, but I am a part of a collaboration.

It began on September 25, 1999. On that day I made a commitment to my husband, Michael and our journey began. I didn’t really know what my vows meant on that day. Not really.

You don’t really know who you’re collaborating with until you take three children to the beach. Someone always needs more sunscreen. Another has to potty even though they just went. One cannot keep his crocs clean enough and refuses to wear them with sand in them… Oh the list goes on and on. This kind of vacation is a true example of collaboration. My husband showed himself to be the best at working together while keeping us laughing. (He knows its the only for us to stay sane.)

There have been so many moments that I have been reminded just what those vows meant that I took with my husband. Better and worse, health or illness, wealthy or poor – a lot of highs and lows. We have found ourselves holding on tight while one or the other of us was in pursuit of a new job. Through struggles with pregnancies and health or searching for a new church family we have begun to understand each other’s thoughts, read understated nuances.

I have come to realize that this man I am in partnership is a true gift from God. But this is not the only gift from His hand. There is a third party. We, Michael and I, are not a duo. The only one who can help us to understand the delicate intricacies of our relationship, allowing us to move in unison, is the Holy Spirit. Without Him as a part of this effort we would have fallen apart long ago.

As a part of that ceremony more than ten years ago now, we took three tapestries and wove them together. Now it is a vibrant picture in my mind’s eye of our relationship – the three of us together in collaboration.

If two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

(originally written June 9, 2010)

friends and loved ones · home schooling

absence makes the heart grow fonder…right?

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It came time to get in the car, but I didn’t want to go.  I had been planning, my suitcase was packed, I was ready. Things at the house were prepared for my little family staying behind.  Clean clothes in the dresser drawers, a refrigerator full of food and ready to eat, things put away in their place and easy to find. Yes.  Everything was ready.

Truth is, I needed to go.  I was headed to a home school convention in Atlanta, meeting up with my sister in law, to get our plans finished up for the coming school year.  Its what we do every spring and I always enjoy it.  There are books everywhere to pick up and  review.  And there are consultants available for advice about particular curriculum.

But… There is always a tiny piece of me that hates to leave for several reasons.  Michael had taken a day off to spend with the kids while I was away and, well, I hate to miss out on anything fun.  I also worry about my kiddos missing me or needing me while I’m away.  However neither of those were my problem early Friday morning.  It seemed I was dreading coming home.  I’ll explain…

When a housewife and mom, like myself, spends so much time preparing the house to be ready to leave, its difficult to think about coming home to find that house  in disarray.  Now don’t get me wrong…  My husband does the very best job of any man I know keeping the kids on his own.  Everyone is fed, gets naps, is clothed, even bathed and in bed fairly close to time.  And the kids have a wonderful time.  But there is a blow to our home that requires house keeping to resume immediately when I get home.  and that is my least favorite part about it all…

Well all of these thoughts got me to wondering when I was driving alone in my car to Atlanta in the early hours of Friday morning.  I wonder if this is how my Heavenly Father feels.  Have I neglected the redemptive work He’s called me to, leaving such a mess that He would not feel welcomed to return? Is it possible that  maybe He doesn’t want to come back?

I feel confident I’ve made ruins of some things…  it seems, at times, like the life I have lived has been less than worthy of His return.

As my weekend progressed and I was away from my children, my heart grew stronger in its affection.  The longer I was in Atlanta, the more I wanted to be in Chattanooga with my favorite little ones and my sweet husband.  It did not matter if my house was disheveled, if there were dirty socks on the floor or dishes in the sink.  I just wanted to feel their little arms around my neck and hear their voices call out, “Mama!”   The drive home couldn’t go quickly enough.  I needed to be with my family.

And so it is with my Heavenly Father.  He longs to fully redeem the earth that He has created, and He desires to be with me and each of His children, knowing full well the mess that has been created.  When the time is right He promised to return.  Does anyone know when that will be?  No.  Am I relieved of the responsibility of living rightly before Him? well, no.  But, am I holding Him back?  I don’t think so.   The times and seasons are His alone to know.

John 14:1-4 says this:

1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”

This is what I do know : Some day He will return, because of His great love, not because of what we have done. He loves us with a divine, unquenchable, unsearchable love.  And, He will be back soon so that we can be with Him…

******************

One of my favorite songs, a reminder of His great love.

How He Loves Us… (by Kim Walker)

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by Glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me

And oh, how he loves us so,
Oh how he loves us, how he loves us so

He loves us, Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us, Oh how he loves

We are his portion and he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking
So, heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

He loves us, Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves us, Oh how he loves.

who knows?

silver

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I stood and stared for a long time.  in shock.  almost horror.  I thought if I looked long enough they would disappear.  In any other situation, it would seem rude.  But I was unable to turn my head.   What had grabbed my attention?

It was my reflection in the mirror.  In fact, my hair.  Six shimmering, silver strands to be exact.  glimmering shiny platinum- white hairs on my otherwise head of very thick dark hair.

disbelief.

I grabbed my tweezers and pulled each hair out carefully and interrogated myself.  Where had they come from? Was it the stress of parenting?  Could it be other worries at home?    Might my overwhelmed state, planning for the coming school year have done it?  My list of concerns and fears are long…

Some people have told me that silver hair can be beautiful.  distinguished.  a subtile mark of wisdom.  I dismiss those ideas, because I know myself.  And I know what those white hairs meant…

They were markers.  reminders.  Each one was representative of a piece of my life, places where I am struggling for perfection, for control.  And, instead of relaxing, knowing the grace my Heavenly Father has offered, I continue to work.  I would like to be the trophy wife, nurturing mother, excelling piano teacher, efficient home maker and clever homeschooling mom…. Oh my heavens the list goes on and on and on…

Clearly, this is not wisdom in action.  Its vanity.  I’ll admit it.  Often I strive for my own gain, my own success, my own reputation.  But its not how He wants me to live.  The Heavenly Father did not give His only son for me to continue this way.  And so, the reminders – staring back at me in the mirror.  But then, tender and gracious words for me as well…

This is Scripture that has the power to heal my heart’s condition, from Ephesians 2:

6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Truly, the story of my life is this: I have been redeemed by His grace, a work of His loving kindness.  Anything that turns out well in my life, can only be to His credit.  I am His handiwork, His creation.  This is what He wants me to remember.  This is how He wants me to live.

I suppose a few silvers now and again aren’t so bad, if they keep me on track.  Maybe someday they’ll be a sign of wisdom….

friends and loved ones · in my kitchen

Taste it!

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If I could have a do-over, I think I would have given culinary school a try. But – that’s not possible for right now, so I bake. I gather ingredients, I follow instructions and like magic – I pull an ooey-gooey pan of brownies from the oven. It is a love affair, happening in my own kitchen.

And its not just the brownies or even the baking, really. It’s the end result. There is nothing better than watching the reaction of my loved ones dive into my brownies, or a birthday cake, or oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I could go on… there’s a long list of favorites.

Every once in a while I try something new and I have to work to sell the goods, “Just try it – I know you’ll like it!” Its almost like I’m channeling every other mother who has ever had a picky child. Still, my 8 yr old looks at me with skepticism.

Its possible I was born a food lover, by nature. I enjoy food. I like how the taste of a brilliantly prepared dish explodes in my mouth. I relish a cozy dinner of comfort food on a chilly night. I‘ve developed a palate for delicious, delectable food. An emotional eater? Perhaps. But, I’m a connoisseur for sure.

Often I have a song by Israel Houghton float through my mind that I particularly enjoy called, “Taste and See.” Its taken from Scripture where the Psalmist says, “Taste and See that the Lord is good…” but Israel takes it a step further and says, “You’re never (never never) gonna know til you try…” And I can totally relate.

I nibbled in the beginning. Scripture verses were fed to me for my memorization. In my childhood Bible stories were every day fare. And so my taste for His Word was piqued.

As a young adult, I began taste-testing on my own. The menu was laced with adventure and excitement – He was becoming a reality and I was discovering whether these words offered were fact or fiction. Sometimes savory, sometimes sour, sometimes hard to digest, but I was drawn to explore and try new things from His word.

And now not only am I a consumer, I’m consumed. I can’t start my morning without a hearty helping of His Word to go along with my cup of coffee. I devour it like freshly baked bread (maybe with homemade jam) and it sustains me through each day. He is the consummate artisan baker. Every day there is a feast prepared for me. And just as I take pleasure in my family’s enjoyment of those fresh brownies – He delights when I come to him for another bite.

For me its quite complicated sometimes. How can I explain the flavors? I find myself looking on the faces of friends in need; those who don’t know or understand my Savior. They haven’t yet nibbled or taste tested. How can I convince one who hasn’t yet tried this life sustaining bread that Its good? No, Its Divine! The mom in me says, “You’re never (never, never) gonna know til you try…”

Taste and See that the Lord is good. (Ps 34:8)

md

(written November 20, 2009)

friends and loved ones

it was after I opened the teddy grahams…

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tonight, I heard a gentle answer.  The one I’d been waiting for all week.

It is no secret that I have been searching for the answer to this question:  Why does God allow tragedy to happen to some, and not to others?  More specifically, why is it that I and my precious family were spared harm during the terrible storms last week, but others are suffering?

All I wanted was to catch a glimpse of understanding…

We had been away from home most of the day Sunday and decided to go to McAllister’s Deli for dinner.  Michael and I had decided the last time we ate there that whatever we did, we would be sure that all three children would have their teddy grahams when we left.  Cinnamon teddy grahams come with each kids’ meal; on our last visit there we made the mistake of leaving without someone’s treat.  It was a terrible mistake.  Suddenly everyone was at odds and it was unfair…  two had their packages of cookies.  one did not.

As parents we try so hard to keep things fair for our children.  But, it is humanly impossible.  Every once in a while someone goes without…

Tonight as we left the restaurant, I made sure that I had all three little red packages of goodies in my bag.  And because everyone was waiting for their treats, I opened them and let them munch on them on the way home… as I opened them I heard my answer…

“You see, Melody, I am fair to my children.  I love each one equally…”

“But, how can that be?  It doesn’t seem that way, as I drive around town and see all of this devastation…”

“I gave my love, when I gave my son so long ago; its available equally to each one who chooses to believe on Me and receive it.”

And in the moments following, I began to realize something important.   He promised that the rain would fall on the just and the unjust.  We would have pain and tragedy.   But, the love and hope that He offers, does not come from the earthly circumstances that I tend to focus on, in fact it has nothing to do with it.  Rather, real hope is a result of understanding the eternal life that He has promised.

With all of that in mind, I wonder…

Can I experience His peace without the turmoil?  Is it possible to know His healing without being ill?  Is there a knowledge of His hope, without first knowing despair?  The lightness of a forgiven heart without first feeling the heaviness of needing to repent?

Scripture clearly says that He does not will that any would parish.  I have to believe that He can use everything that happens in this life to bring this world closer to His theme of redemption:  He desires for each one to be drawn to Him, believe on Him, receive His forgiveness and prepare to be with Him in Heaven someday.  It is a gracious gift He offers to everyone.  Because He loves us.  all.  equally.

So, why Ringold, Georgia and not Hixson, Tennessee this time?  I’m sure I don’t really understand it all.  He didn’t say I would until I reach eternity. Then I’ll get it. For now I am  grateful for this love I’ve come to know; it is the love of the Heavenly Father.  And if there is one thing I am sure of, it is this; no on needs to go without…

friends and loved ones · who knows?

run like a runner…

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I’m about to tell a story of true, but gigantic proportions.  Its about me.  You won’t believe it.

Last night I went running in my ‘hood.  It was a bit chilly for this time of year, but I was raring to go.  I’ve been working out indoors and was anxious to monitor my real progress.  How far can I run? I mean really actually run?  feet pounding pavement, cold, fresh air burning my lungs?  how far?

I made a decision as I put my earbuds in, my iphone ready to blast my running playlist. I had been working hard on pushing my stamina beyond previous boundaries.  It was time.

Tonight I would run… like a runner.

And I did.

What does it mean to me, to run like a runner?  Well, I guess it is a change in mindset, which recreates how I carry myself.  If I’m a “walker”, I might believe I can only jog for a very short period, wanting to stop the running sooner than later.  But, if I’ve stepped into the “runner” frame of mind, I keep on going, because I don’t expect to stop;  I might actually enjoy the whole running experience.  My back is straighter, my heart and feet are lighter now…  “I think I can” is on the brain, rather than “I’m sure I can’t…”

Now, granted, I am still working on my 5K program, so it does not mean that I ran three miles without a sweat. Nope.  not even close.  But I did break a new barrier and ran for three minutes without struggling, without stopping to walk.  For me this is all so new and exciting.  I never thought it would happen.

And it is here, at this new intersection that I find myself confronted in my life-long marathon with Christ.  Its where my “know how” and my “desire” cross paths.  He wants me to run as the believer He’s created and called me to be.  Especially this week.  Why this week? (I knew you were wondering…)

Wednesday was a dark day for our city.  Tornados brought horrendous damage and devastation to our little corner of the world.  Homes flattened, possessions completely gone, lives taken.  It is beyond what my mind can conceive.  And yet He’s called me – and all believers to the marathon: How far will you go?  What will it take for you to run like a runner, after me, after my will, and my heart?  

He wants me to follow His commands to give from my prosperity to those in need.  He asks I give time, finances, supplies, whatever it takes to help those less fortunate who were ravaged by the storm. Give generously, give graciously, give wildly.    He wants me to have compassion, to be His hands and feet in a dark, grieving, wounded community.

1 Corinthians 9 23-27 (from the message)

23 I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

 24-25You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.

 26-27I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

I  have to decide now is the time.  Its what I’ve been training for.  I must actually get up and run, with my heart prepared to go the distance back straight, head high.

like His runner.

friends and loved ones

the shark and the turtle will swim together

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We stared through the thick panes of glass for a long time.  Fish swam by.  Sting rays.  sharks.  Our agenda: we were looking for the turtle.  He always comes by at some point when we visit and we hadn’t seen him yet this time.  My daughter Emily feared the worst:  had our friend the turtle been consumed by one of the sharks?  I felt sure he hadn’t, but my sweet girl was convinced he had been someone’s dinner – and I had no absolute proof.  only words.

Finally.  At the last big window into the aquarium, our friend the turtle passed by.  We were able to leave with a feeling of relief.  Mr. Turtle was okay.  Emily and I talked a bit about the animals in the exhibit.  The shark and all of those teeth can be quite alarming…  neither of us are interested in deep sea diving these days that is for sure.

But there’s coming a day…

I was reminded of all of this yesterday after a visit to the hospital.  A sweet friend of mine had been admitted on Easter Sunday.  She struggles with several chronic diagnosis, that keep her ill, in and out of health facilities.  I sat with her to keep her company  by chatting about our girls, looking at Easter pictures and anticipating upcoming vacations. We gave our conversation mostly to life -giving, hopeful thoughts.

Whenever I walk through another facet of her illness with her I have to pray a lot.  I watch her as these illnesses try to consume her; they taunt me while I hope and entreat God for her healing and survival.  I confess that in these times I struggle with doubting God’s mercy.  How can this be His will?  How can He allow it?  And because He does, should I consider Him merciful?  These are just my honest questions.  This morning I do not have any answers…  but one…

There is coming a day of reckoning.  It will be a day when all will be made right.  The Bible describes a time when the lamb will be able to lay next to a lion without fear.  I believe this means we will be able to deep-sea dive in the ocean without fear of sharks and their teeth.  My dear friend will live without burden of disease and illness.  Life as we know it will be redeemed.  This earth will be made new and Satan will no longer be able to devour us with sin and death.

I read these words from Isaiah 35  this morning and was filled with a new confidence:

4 Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
With the recompense of God;
He will come and save you.”
5 Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
6 Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.
7 The parched ground shall become a pool,
And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.
8 A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.
9 No lion shall be there,
Nor shall any ravenous beast go up on it;
It shall not be found there.
But the redeemed shall walk there,
10 And the ransomed of the LORD shall return,
And come to Zion with singing,
With everlasting joy on their heads.
They shall obtain joy and gladness,
And sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!

md

a bit of history · friends and loved ones

When I survey…

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It was spring on Hines Crescent where my family lived in London, Ontario…  We had moved there almost two years before.  Life had been a bit unsettled since then, but one person made everything else okay.  GG.  My Great Grandmother, GG, came to visit every spring and this year was no exception.    All was right with the world when she came to town.

At this time in my life all of my energy and focus was put towards playing the piano.  I was eight, my hands were tiny, but I soaked the information up from piano lessons like a sponge and I practiced like I was eighteen.   GG was my biggest fan and my best encourager.  I remember her sitting in the living room, working at the daily crossword from the paper while I played the same songs again and again.

GG was a pianist in her own right and she seemed to understand my love for the instrument.   One day I confided in her, telling her of my dream to be the pianist at church for the hymns.  Immediately, she pulled out one of our colorful paperback chorus books and helped me  find one song to work on.  She said it would be fairly easy for me:  in this book the song was in G major.  I’d start with the melody line and play it until I could add in all of the notes in both hands.  The song certainly wold be helpful in my future.

Over and over I played it.  Sometimes she’d even sing along, and I can still hear it now…

“When I survey the wondrous cross, on which the prince of glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride…”

Truthfully, at 8 I had no idea what those words meant.  But with the many sins and mistakes that have marked my journey, all of these years later I have come to realize she was right: the song would be meaningful in my future.  The lyrics to this anthem are truth for every believer’s heart and a guide post for each follower’s path.

This Easter weekend they have taken over my mind as I take time to look on the cross, His sacrifice and His love for me.  The forgiven life that I live, the daily grace I experience has nothing to do with what I’ve done.  Only His life given, His blood shed, His victory over death: this is an amazing, divine love to behold.

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.  (from Colossians 1)

Thank you Lord, for the gift of your righteousness, purchased with your own life’s blood.  I am left undone, knowing this love you have for me.  Keep my heart tender, my eyes focused on the cross and your sacrifice, today and always.  amen.

md