friends and loved ones

you are my sunshine

It was the end of a long day, a never-ending week actually.  My sweet little baby doll needed to go to bed.  For that matter, so did I.  I got her into her pj’s, laid her in her big girl bed and pulled the covers up tight.  With pink bear wrapped in her arms and pink blankie firmly in her grasp she was ready for slumber.

But she said, “Wait mommy!  Snuggie me. Sing, pwease”  I didn’t realize we had begun a new bedtime routine.  The night before she had convinced me to lay down beside her and sing a song.  “You are my sunshine.” That’s her favorite right now.  But tonight, I was not prepared for what would happen.  I sang a verse, almost whispering, and when I finished my precious little girl put her hands on my face and sang the same back to me.

Of course I cried when I left the room.  What mother wouldn’t?

The fact is on a week like the one we have had, I see dimly.  I pull the shades and sit in the dark – even though there is bright sunshine all around.  My heavenly Father has provided so much in my life to be grateful for and often, far too often, I live in the shadows.

Rays of His love have penetrated my life bringing glorious sunshine where it seemed there were only clouds. These were the rays of sunlight, in the middle of my week:

Mackenzie’s sweet tiny voice singing around the house, all day long.

Isaac’s infectious giggle and his smiling eyes.

Emily’s joy at making 100’s on her math and spelling tests.

Cupcakes that turned out perfectly.

An encouraging call from a far-away-in-distance, but close-in-my-heart friend.

My husband’s love, in the form of an all-weekend-long home renovation project.

Isaac brilliantly reading his very first reader alone.

Fresh bread.

A sparkling clean bedroom, the labor of my sweet Emily.(that was like double sunlight!)

Steady, cool rainfall after a very long, dusty dry spell.

Delicious aromas, coming from the crockpot for a tasty dinner.

Good coffee and even better conversation with a girlfriend.

And that is just the beginning of His goodness… because at the heart of it all, there is His love, wildly, generously providing my every need.  His lovingkindness shines into every nook and cranny, and it brightens the far corner of every room.  And even if there was only one thing on my list, it would still be so.

His son, the most vibrant of lights, brings salvation, forgiveness, freedom and a host of other good and gracious gifts.  He alone on my list would be enough to brighten the darkest of days.  But He heaps on more. Blessing after blessing.  Mercies, never ceasing that call for songs of my loudest praise.

Thank you Heavenly Father, for this gift, for brightening my days with all of this sunshine.  Help me to be forever grateful.  I’m opening the shades, throwing back the curtains so that Your Son will fill my heart again.  amen

Mackenzie, one of my little rays of sunshine.

friends and loved ones · home schooling

peace be still…

Yesterday morning was a morning like no other.  You can count on the truth of it because it took me all these twenty-four hours to write about it.  My children were being children… and I, well, I didn’t handle it too well at all. I can assure you that I will not be nominated for Mother of the year this year…

It has been so hot in our part of the country the past few weeks that we haven’t been playing outside too much.  And so, I find the days passing by more and more slowly as we are trapped inside with no place to blow off steam.  This is how we began yesterday morning on week two, day two of school :  A lot of unbridled energy penned up.  A mama with not enough sleep. These two factors added up to catastrophe.

At 9:00 we had finished breakfast and I was trying to get everyone started on their work at the table. 9:30 rolled by and my front room looked like a tornado had hit – toys everywhere, children running around, hollering and laughing. By 10 AM, I realized that I was not going to be able to coax everyone to sit down calmly for our grammar time.  And by 10:30 I had yelled at everyone sufficiently to cause tears and heart ache for each child.  It was not one of my finer moments.

I tried to regroup by putting on a favorite Bible Story DVD and caught a few minutes alone with the Lord.  Quietly I began to catch my breath.  I asked Him, “Is there no peace for our house today?  I can’t make it through this whirl-wind of a storm all day!  HELP!”  And as I sent out my SOS, He brought help for my soul almost immediately, in the form of this story from Matthew 8 in Scripture:

23 Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. 24 And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. 25 Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”
26 But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 So the men marveled, saying, “Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”

And I realized, if the wind and waves will obey Him, this little bit of “bad weather” at my house is nothing for Him to subdue.  I promise you, as I prayed and thanked Him for His peace in my home, the waves settled in my own heart.  Within minutes everyone else seemed to be able to relax too…

Heavenly Father, Thank you for Your presence, Your peace and for Your deliverance.  Remind me when unexpected storms pop up that You are here with me, and that You are the master of every storm.   amen.

I’m reminded of an old hymn this morning:

Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm
In celestial like strains it unceasingly falls
O'er my soul like an infinite calm

Peace, peace, wonderful peace
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!
 
Two of my precious little monkeys! 
friends and loved ones · who knows?

hide and seek

We went on a date this evening, my husband and I did.  It was such a treat.  No complaining from the back seat about the restaurant of choice.  No potty breaks, right as our food arrived. The conversation was enlightening and endearing.  I couldn’t have asked for better company.  Michael and I are still the best of friends, even after twelve years and three babies.

So, the cuisine of choice: Chinese.  And we enjoyed some very spicy entrees.  Yum.  Yum. Yum.    At the end of course, there is the infamous fortune cookie, with some proverb or stimulating advice inside.  Dutifully we cracked open our cookies and read our “fortunes” while munching.

Mine first:

Then Michael’s:

There was some serious contrast between the two thoughts.  I typically don’t take these things very seriously, but this time it was so obvious to me, I couldn’t help but think about it for a moment.

Michael and I will complete twelve years of marriage on September 25. Okay, Okay – I know it is just the beginning – it is nothing compared to my parents and grandparents who have been through so much more.  However, I can still testify to this:  over our time together I have seen the realities of both statements.   I can tell you that as we have sought the Lord, looked for His ways to make them our own path, we have found Him to be very real and present in our lives.  He has met our every spiritual and physical need.  It is a promise from the book of Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 

The second “fortune” is kind of the antithesis of the first. Let me explain. It is so easy to be swept up in the world’s ideas – “its all up to me”  or “if I believe in me, I can make it happen.” But, I can assure you that when I have made efforts, of my own will and choosing, they have been in vain. If I believe that I am the only architect for my success, then I may be doomed for failure.

When I seek Him and His righteousness, blessings from His hand are revealed.  As I find Him in the secret places, the sweet life He gives is no longer hidden.  This is His promise in Matthew 7:

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

I am so grateful to know from personal experience that this is true.  Time and again I have looked for Him, and He has met me, in my neediness.  It His lovingkindness that has sustained me through it all; any success, any glory belongs to Him.  No good fortune about it, only divine promises fulfilled.

Thank you, God for being a Heavenly Father who wants to be sought after, but is available and ready to be found.

amen

home schooling

the timer

I have a new best friend.  It is my kitchen timer.  My new chum has performed miracles here at my house this week, our first week back to school at home.  I love it.  I wind my new partner up, and he clicks away the seconds until we move to a new activity.  Even Emily seems to be in to it a bit…

I set the timer and she reads as much as she can.  Or, she finishes her math, or works on her geography map.  that kind of thing.  It can make all of the chores feel a bit like a game.  However, she does not like our new friend so much when he declares that it is time for something she doesn’t like – or worse if he tells us when something she likes a lot is over.

This small kitchen gadget does exactly what he is supposed to do;  he’s always right on time. But, Emily, she’s young and fickle.  She doesn’t understand the value of this new friend and the work he does.

I have another timer.  He knows exactly what I need and fulfills His will for my life, right on time. never inaccurate.  never late.  Sometimes I feel as though circumstances keep me too long, and the trial of waiting is unbearable.  Other times it seems that I have had to wait far too long for something to come to fruition.

But that is not the case.

My Heavenly Father is the ultimate time keeper.  He knows the framework of my life, every second of it. There is not one minute unaccounted for.   But I do not value this intricate work in my life as much as I should. I’m immature and fickle; I don’t appreciate it.

It is no coincidence then, that I began memorizing James 1.  I didn’t do it on purpose – but, I believe He ordained it, because He knows how much I need to learn this:

4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Patience is not waiting around for God to do what I want.  Patience is waiting for Him to do what He wants, and when.  That is perfection.  I am the antithesis of perfection.  In one very particular instance I have been waiting, asking for faith, pleading for wisdom, all the while insisting that God do something right away – on my timeline. The fact remains: when I  am unsure that His timing is best, when I’m unwilling to give up my own ideas, that is a sign of my doubt. – and I become a wave of the sea… confused and frustrated, completely unstable.  All patience is lost, with faith and wisdom no where to be found.

What could possibly be the good news in this situation? I can only tell you what I’ve been learning these last few days. He is a loving and good Heavenly Father who is unable to do anything less than what is the very best for me.  And in this terribly trying time, when I am unable to see the full timeline of my future history, He is patient with me.  He cares for me and gently sets my feet in the right direction, and draws my heart to His.

Heavenly Father, With my whole heart I am grateful for your patience and faithfulness to me, even when I am unable to respond the right way.  Help me to believe without wavering that Your timing is best, and let me act on it.  Thank you for the enduring love You have shown to me.

amen.

in my kitchen

the sauce…

If you were intrigued by my “Sweet endings” post, and if you have the need for chocolate in your life,  I am posting the chocolate sauce here.  for you.  Because I care.  Its very simple.  And when you’re finished making it, try to let it cool a bit, before diving in with a spoon – I just don’t want you to burn your tongue.

Let the chocolate sauce making commence:

Ingredients:

1 stick of butter or margarine

4 cups of sugar

6 tbsp of unsweetened cocoa

1 can of evaporated milk

1 tsp of vanilla

Instructions: In a large pan, melt the butter.  add the sugar, cocoa and milk and combine with the butter.  Bring to a boil over medium high heat and let it boil for a minute or two.  Stir in the vanilla at the end.  Voila!   Over ice cream, well – over just about anything and it is delicious!

I may have to have a little spoonful with my breakfast!

a photo, just to torture you for a moment…

friends and loved ones

the map…

Recently my family and I went on a short road trip. We took the day to travel about two and half hours a way. My sister in law and her family met us at a science museum there and we spent the day together. The cousins played at the different exhibits and had a wonderful time.

Yes, our time there was very special ; we took great photos and made some fun memories. But, the night before when we were preparing to leave was not a hallmark of good family times. Its google map’s fault.  seriously. My husband went down to print the map and it showed completely different directions than what was on the museum’s website. Frustration ensued.

Michael called his sister – and she tried to give a bit of help. But we were mostly left to our own devices. After probably an hour, my husband felt as though he had sufficient information to get us to the museum. This included 6 pages of written directions from google and 8 pages of maps. When he finished it was late and we hit the hay, confident we would be able to find our destination in the morning.

Now, my husband is the driver and I’m the navigator. These are our assigned occupations on the trips we take. I don’t really mind being the navigator – I have a good sense of direction, sort of. But – I am terrible with maps. Especially these kinds of google maps. Not only was it 8 pages – its really 8 pages that should have been glued together somehow to make one big map. In my eagerness to discern the directions, I quickly leafed through the pages and managed to get them out of order. My husband who was prepared for this (remember these are our regularly assigned occupations and we have been married now 10 years.), though not particularly happy about it, was able to drive and reorganize the papers with ease. He truly is an amazing man.

And Google maps – while it is a wonderful invention, it gives its own advice by putting large blue arrows on the map, telling us where it thinks we should go. Its a computer program. And so as I’m trying to discern our next exit or turn, I’m trying to listen to what my husband is telling me, but I’m distracted by these arrows. At one point I gave total misinformation to my husband due to these arrows and I had us going the wrong direction. I really wonder sometimes why my husband lets me be the navigator at all. Probably because he’s experienced my driving…

Which brings me to think about my life. I’ve spent a lot of time, like most people, trying to figure out which way to go. Do I turn here? What if I go down this one way street? Is this my exit? And it can be very confusing sometimes. I often wonder how did I end up here?

What I mean to ask is, how did I manage to end up here, with this wonderful family, a husband who loves me well and a life that I couldn’t have planned any better?

Its not because I followed the instructions well. I’ve had some close calls – some near collisions. There were times when I almost went the wrong way. But in those moments the Heavenly Father took the map and pointed me in the right direction – sometimes lovingly, sometimes a bit more forcefully. But all in all I’ve made it this far on my journey – and there has been blessing upon blessing when I have followed His map.

Jeremiah 29:11 gives insight to for the roadtrip- Even if you don’t know the way – He does! It says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Sometimes I’ve been unsure, but He’s proven to be the best navigator ever. Google doesn’t have anything on Him.

md

(written on November 21, 2009)

friends and loved ones

as the journey was winding down

They are on a plane over the Atlantic somewhere right now.  Our french family is returning home.  I took some photos on their last weekend with us – and I thought I’d share just a few of my favorites this morning… instead of giving in to tears.

Uncategorized

sweet endings

Have I ever mentioned one of my very favorite treats?  Maybe not.  It is my GG’s recipe for chocolate sauce and I love it with my whole heart.  It has a very deep flavor  of cocoa blended with vanilla. The texture is very unique ; smooth, but a bit chewy – certainly not like processed, jarred sauces from the store.  I made homemade chocolate sauce for sundaes tonight.  It is a sweet treat to mark an ending.  Today, Friday was the end of our summer.

*sigh*

I knew it was coming.  My start date for the school year has been on the calendar for quite some time. But it doesn’t make it any easier.  Monday morning we will hit the ground running, implementing our new daily schedule.

I can feel my temperature begin to rise, just thinking about it all.  Why?  Well, I’m anxious because it is all new.  again.  New subjects.  New schedule.  New curriculum and books.  And most of all – a new student.  I’ve got all of the challenges a new school year brings, multiplied by two now because Isaac is beginning kindergarten.  It makes last year seem like a piece of cake.

With a sweet kiss of chocolate we say “goodbye” to staying up late on summer nights and sleeping in whenever we want.  We say “so long” to playing outside in the sprinkler and unplanned trips to the park.  Sleepovers at grandmama’s house will have to be saved for weekend nights.  And we say “hello” to history timelines, multiplication tables, Scripture memory work and lots of read aloud books – just to name a few…

The good news, that I’ve been rehearsing in my heart and mind all week is this:   My Heavenly Father is in the business of new beginnings.  Even though endings can be hard to face, there is always a fresh start available.  He offers it freely- even now –  at 10 pm on my last night of summer vacation.

The words He has given to me from Scripture are encouraging as I embark down this new path.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

It is simple, but absolute truth, from His heart to mine. Better than chocolate sauce, it makes the evening sweet and my new beginning even sweeter.

Uncategorized

cooking and archery

So, you may not know this but there are some things that seem to transcend cultural boundaries…  I have found first hand over the past month that this is very true.  in food and in play.  That is where I’ve noticed it happening this week.

I had the privilege of cooking in my mother in law’s kitchen with my cousin Maud.  She showed me first hand how to make the real deal, honest to goodness french beef bourguinon.  It was so fun – and wow, was it delicious.  I will definitely make it again.

My sweet girl, Emily has developed quite a friendship with her cousin, Kierin.  Although they don’t speak the same language, it just doesn’t seem to matter.  They have played together, inside and out. Emily tried to teach Kierin how to shoot her bow.

And of course, we couldn’t host our French guests without going to see the Lookouts play an all-American Baseball Game!

What a week!  and I have a few photos to show for it!

who knows?

salty kiss…

(my sweet boy, Isaac, hoping to toss a frisbee…)

I took my three children to the park yesterday in the late afternoon. In theory it is still spring. However, yesterday it seemed that summer was here. It was HOT. And by hot, I mean the kind of heat that closes in on you and hovers with no way of escape, and it makes you sweat.

My son, Isaac was not in favor of the warmer temperatures. In fact within 15 minutes he was crying, and at the top of his voice he was sharing with everyone there that he wanted to go home. I tried to distract him, sit in the shade for a bit, swing, slide, water fountain – none of it worked. We all went home, exhausted and damp.

Later in the evening (before his bath I might add), I gave Isaac a kiss on his little forehead. I found my lips tasted salty from the little peck. I was reminded at that moment, that sweat from our pores produces salt. Nothing new here, I learned that in grade school.

I do find it very interesting that God produced our bodies so that when the heat is on we produce salt. Could this be a physical picture of what He hopes for in every believer’s life? It really got me to thinking – when situations get really hot in my life – what do I produce? When I’m under pressure and people are around, does my life produce the salty essence of Christ? Or, do I just stink?

“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” (from Mark)

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (from Colossians)

When the temperatures are rising, I should be glowing with His spirit, with His love. As hard as this seems, I hope the hot weather this summer is a reminder for my heart and mind. May my life, my actions be flavored with a seasoning of the Holy Spirit. Let me be salty!

(originally written May 5, 2010)