(our advent wreath, celebrating the coming of Christ)

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.  John 1:14

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Joy, not because of our circumstances.  Joy, not because of the tangible things we hold dear.  Joy, not because of earthly trappings. or because we are without pain and suffering.  No.

Joy – because He was Heaven’s joy, the apple of His Father’s eye.  Joy, because He came – and with His arrival He brought mercy and forgiveness.  Joy, because in Him all will be made right.    Joy, because He alone brings the hope of deliverance.

JOY.

I want this joy to nestle down into my heart this morning and linger there through the winter…

So, I’m departing from my regularly scheduled events this morning… to share something simple. These are just words from a Christmas song that I am learning with my kid’s choir at church.   But they became so real to me last night as I listened to the sweet voices of children sing them.   Here is joy:

Jesus, Joy of the Highest Heaven

Jesus, joy of the highest heaven

Born as a little baby under a wondrous star

Like us, crying He takes his first breath,

Held by his mother, helpless, close to her beating heart.

Jesus, laid in a lowly manger

Facing a world of dangers

Come to turn me, a stranger

Into a child of God.

Jesus, King of the highest heaven

Learning to take His first steps that He might bring us life.

Like us, knowing our smiles and sorrows

He showed the way to follow, a way that is true and right,

Jesus, take away every darkness.

Steady my simple footsteps,

that I might in your goodness,

Live as a child of God.

Its been a decade.  Ten years.   Never has time flown by so quickly.  I promise you that just a few sleeps ago this girl was my precious little baby doll,  a few blinks later she was five… And now today, she is ten.

I can honestly tell you I barely remember life without her.  She is a kind and gentle spirit, with just enough gumption to be herself and swim upstream if necessary.  That’s my girl!  And she has brought us so much joy, happiness and love.

My heart feels like it is being squeezed.

Many of my friends have older children.  They tell me to be afraid of the double digit years, that it can be complicated.  And it is probably true.  But I’m not afraid of the future that way.  I’m just afraid of the past and how fast it has gone.   Time is not on my side here, and I know it.

As we celebrate ten years of life with Emily, I can tell you that I am grateful she has chosen to follow Him. I feel sure that He has begun a good work in her heart and He will complete it.   That makes all of this “ten years old” business just a teeny bit easier.

*sigh*

One thing I do know.  I have been praying that I will live intentionally in each moment; that I will take each opportunity to love my sweet girl while we are together, so that one day, just a few years from now when she’s ready to be out on her own, I will have beautiful memories stored up to cherish.

It sounds like a good plan in theory, right?

Anyway… I’m off for a day of birthday fun with my Emily!    But, I leave you with these words from Marie Beyon Ray:

“We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand…and melting like a  snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.”

Emily received a very special gift for her tenth birthday… here dad is giving a few pointers!

It is November 26th.  Thanksgiving has passed.  I have my feet propped up, I’m all cozy in our living room, sipping a cup of hot tea listening to my favorite advent album, “Behold the Lamb of God,” by Andrew Peterson.  Most of the calendar year passes and I try not to listen to it.  But, as the air becomes crisp and December approaches, I just can’t help it.

I confess to you that this year has been more arduous for me emotionally than I planned; long before autumn gave way to cooler temperatures, rough winds of life battered my heart.  I found a longing brewing, even swelling in my soul.  There was a need, and I couldn’t deny it.

I’ve been trying to remember what makes Advent special.  Why is Christmastime so necessary?   And I’m not talking about a special present that was given to me, or the joy of giving to others or any of those wonder-filled things.  What is it about the birth of Christ that I need?

That’s the miracle I’ve been searching for, the warmth that comes at advent. I remember what it feels like.  I do.  But those harsh, cold winds blew out any embers that had been burning. So, I’m snuggled up, listening to music of advent, reflecting on His arrival, waiting for hope to fill this heart of mine…

And I realize… Its not just a warmth.  I need the ache …

I wonder what it was like to hope for His arrival?  to hope for this Son of God, Son of man to be born?

I think my situation is mild in comparison to the children of Israel who waited for their Messiah so long ago.  If I’m anxious to revive my heart, oh what they must have felt.  I have history to rehearse…They were waiting to make history.  The ache that must have burned in their hearts while they were awaiting the arrival of their Savior, The Promise!  How they must have shed tears begging for prophecy to be fulfilled!

O Come, O Come Emmanuel…  

Their longing must have been intense, their wait terribly long.  But they knew the future of nations depended on it.   Prophets had foretold HE was coming and the people had believed it… Did the cold winds blow out their embers of hope?  When He arrived, were their hearts barely glowing?

These cries of the Israelites are not so far off from what I feel in my own heart and spirit at this time of year.  Even as they, so long ago awaited the birth of the Savior, today we wait.  I’m a believer who has been given new life in Christ, and still at this time of year I sense the need to ache.  I want to feel that fiery intensity; longing and hoping for Him to fulfill prophecy again, just as He did all of those years ago.

Come, O Redeemer Come!

As I sit here a little longer and let the warm music run over my soul, I feel my heart ignite at the wonder of His arrival all of those years ago.  God incarnate; He chose to come and dwell on the earth, here with us.  My heart begins to glow with new fervor as I remember this: our God  is a covenant keeping God.  Knowing He came then, there is newly lit hope with the belief that He will come again to redeem this broken world!

This is the beauty of Advent that I need…  the warmth that comes from remembering and knowing He fulfilled His promise the first time, but also the ache of waiting and hoping for Him to return to make this world new.

Blessed Redeemer, We long for your return.  O come, O come Emanuel.  Make our hearts ready for your arrival.  amen.

Happy Thanksgiving, from my family to yours!

I pray that your homes were filled with wonderful aromas of the season,  

warm-hearted fellowship with friends and loved ones,

and deep-felt Thanksgiving to our gracious Father in Heaven.  

(oh, and a full tummy and a good afternoon nap too!) 

My feisty little toddler, Mackenzie, who daily teaches me about myself…

With both hands clenched in fists, pumping the air overhead, my littlest shouted, “I did it!”  We had been working a 35 piece Mickey Mouse puzzle together.  She took great pride whenever another piece fit into place.  At the age of two, my toddler, by my estimation, is plain smart.  No two ways about it.

But she’s not that brilliant.

She really tried to work the puzzle, but without much success until I handed her the pieces and helped fill the holes.  At times she would demand, “Give me that piece!”  or “Put a piece here!”  Some times I could fulfill her wishes.  But other times, the pieces she wanted me to use didn’t fit properly.  As we finished with the final piece she hugged my neck tightly and said, “We did it mommy!”

Her words are a little reminiscent of my own.

Often I have demanding moments.  I stare at my life and try to make the pieces fit where there are gaps.  I exert great effort trying desperately to fill holes with the wrong pieces.  Prayers are offered, sometimes in the imperative : “Fill this.  Find that piece.  Make this fit here.” All the while my Heavenly Father sits beside me, knowing how my puzzle is supposed to look.  He has each part in His hands, and knows exactly how they should work together.

I’ll admit to you here and now that I am terrible at finding peace, amid my unfinished puzzle. But I have some incredible examples these days, friends and loved ones who are doing much better than I am.

There is a young woman who I admire so much, recently divorced – deserted by her husband.  She has kept her joy in the middle of all the waiting, expecting Him to fit the pieces together.

A dear aunt and uncle – both recently surviving cancer, daily seem to be able to choose HIS peace in the middle of the battle, without understanding it all.

My own mom, walking through back pain, daily choosing to move forward in His strength even though she has spent more than thirty years fulfilling her life’s calling as a nurse.   In my mind it seems unfair, but she doesn’t seem to see it that way.

Each of them have good reason to pitch a fit.  All of them could jump up and down and shout at Him to make sense of it all or try to force His hand by manipulating the situation.  Instead they give testimony to the goodness of God, blessing Him on their journey.   Somehow, in their trial, they find Him as their missing piece and He fits into any spot that needs to be filled.

Oh to fill in the gaps with Him.  That’s what I long to do.

from Isaiah 26: 3&4

³ You will keep him in perfect peace, 
      Whose mind is stayed on You,
      Because he trusts in You. 
       ⁴ Trust in the LORD forever, 
      For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.

Thank you Heavenly Father for holding all of the pieces to my puzzle.  Let me abide in the peace that You are,  knowing that Your ways are perfect and I can trust You.  Keep my mind stayed on you.  amen

(Not long ago I was delighted to have a cup of tea at my friend’s home, who by some lovely coincidence has the same china as my Grandma Brubacher and my Aunt Sharon.  This cup and saucer looks very similar to one I have sipped tea from many times with my Grandma and my Aunt.  Tea tastes so delicious in a cup that is as beautiful as this.) 

On the Christmas of 1982, I received two gifts that I have never forgotten.  One was a brilliant, emerald green jumper that my Grandma Brubacher had sewn for me, forever cementing in my mind that I should always choose bright green as a color to wear. My cheeks were so rosy when I wore that dress.  The other was a small demitasse cup with saucer.  That cup and saucer was very special.  In theory it was from my cousins Lee and Jay – but  I feel pretty confident that my Aunt Zala picked it out…

You have to know something about my family, in particular my mom’s family.  Being Canadian means you drink tea.  hot tea.  Now my dad’s people are iced tea drinkers, but that is a completely different topic…  In Ontario, growing up, it seemed that hot tea was the beverage of choice, most often to be drunk from a cup with a saucer.  This special Christmas present – a little tea cup, was such an important gift.  It was my entrance into being all grown up. Or so I thought.

I remember many Sunday afternoons taking a cup of Red Rose tea with my mom.  To this day it is still my favorite. Well, now that I think about it, back then my cup had just a bit of tea with mostly cream and sugar, but it still counts. Over the years I’ve enjoyed tea at different times with my aunts, my sister, my grandma or my cousins. No matter what the occasion, it always becomes extra special when there is fellowship with loved ones, sipping a steamy beverage from a beautiful china cup…

These memories make up such a big part of who I am and where I come from.  More than that, they are a big part of where I’m headed.  Last week, Emily drank her first cup of tea from that same little cup that my Aunt Zala gave me so many Christmases ago.  She turns ten this coming weekend, so I feel sure she believes that she is nearing adulthood….

Tea is probably just a small snapshot of the bigger picture of how I became who I am today.  From both my mom and dad’s sides of the family, I come from a deeply rooted spiritual heritage.  This group of people I am privileged to call my family are steadfast believers,  faithfully giving their lives to His work.  All of my grandparents, my aunts and uncles – from across the US and in Canada –  my extended family tree is bearing His fruit.  And now, those of us in the family from my generation are following in our parents’ footsteps.   There is no doubt- I am blessed with a godly heritage.

So, here on this week of thanksgiving, I am pausing to remember that Christmas gift from my childhood.  Not because I want to live in the past, rather, I want to pass these blessed gifts on to my own children. With a grateful heart I want to soak in the moments of my own history, so that I know for sure how to make new history with my Emily, Isaac and Mackenzie.   I want to give them this spiritual heritage so that they can embrace it and pass it on to the next generation.

Its what my parents did for me.  And, its what God asks of us…

from Deuteronomy 6:

¹ “Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the LORD your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess, ² that you may fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. ³Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the LORD God of your fathers has promised you—‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’
⁴ “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! ⁵ You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
⁶ “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

As my family celebrates on this Thanksgiving holiday, I find myself increasingly grateful for my wonderful extended family  and for the children that God has given to Michael and I to raise.  But I’m also thankful for these commands from Scripture, and overwhelmed by the privilege I have to follow them with my own children, just as my parents did with me.

And you can be sure we will talk about His promises as we linger over our next cup of tea…

This evening, as I thought over the “goings on” of my life, I realized there are many of my friends and loved ones who are going through such difficult circumstances. Illness, loss of a family member, relationship struggles, uncertain job or economic status – the list is long and heartbreaking.

Normally, I post thoughts and ideas from my own personal life that tie together with Scripture to encourage my blog readers.  But today, I’ve got nothing.  Well, nothing of my own creation. Just this: For all who have put their trust in Him, there is hope!

It is my prayer that all who read this passage and bind these words to their heart find His strength for their journey.

¹⁹ Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!
²⁰ You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence
From the plots of man;
You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion
From the strife of tongues.

²¹ Blessed be the LORD,
For He has shown me His marvelous kindness in a strong city!
²² For I said in my haste,
“I am cut off from before Your eyes”;
Nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications
When I cried out to You.

²³ Oh, love the LORD, all you His saints!
For the LORD preserves the faithful,
And fully repays the proud person.
²⁴ Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the LORD.

Over the last few weeks, here in the Tennessee valley, nestled between Lookout and Signal Mountain, we have seen rich, decadent colors across the landscape.  Spicy tangerines, warm golds and sassy reds that would make anyone’s head turn.  God’s artistry, on exhibit for the whole world.  And I’ve enjoyed every drive down corridor J watching the vibrant tones wrap around the mountains, grateful for the incredible beauty.

I’ve been so taken with this foliage, and I know I’ve posted way too many photos of it all, so I hope you’ll bear with me…But, I’ve been curious.  So, I googled my question.

Why are the leaves so brightly colored?  What are the factors that change from year to year.  Last year, I promise, the leaves weren’t half as gorgeous and I just had to know : What makes the difference?

Well, I’m not a scientist, so, I’m about to give you my simplistic explanation.  I may use the wrong terminology, so my apologies in advance.  But here’s the deal :  Its their food.  The leaves take in different amounts of rain and sunshine.  Each year as summer ends and the leaves begin to die, eventually falling from their branches, they change color.  When the leaves have had the right amount of rain and sun over the previous season, creating just the right amount of food in their veins,  as they go through their sort of tribulation and ultimately die.  they begin to shine with the brightest of hues.

It is miraculous in my mind. I wonder if I could do half as well in my own human tragedy?

If I have been eating the right spiritual foods, my life will be aglow with His colors, colors of true beauty, from His Spirit, like joy, patience, peace, humility and charity…  rather than dull, gray colors of self preservation, pride or deceit. In my weak humanity, when I face trials, I tend to wallow in self pity, or jealousy.    If I have not eaten well and consumed His Word, when the time comes I will be lifeless and without His glow.

These words from Philippians are a really good place to start filling up my heart and mind:

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
⁵ Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever thingsare of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. ⁹ The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Heavenly Father, Let me be like your beautiful creation, drawing attention to You and Your ways first.  Remind me to take Your words in, so that I will wear your colors on the outside.  amen.

Saturday morning there was an aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls in my kitchen.  I think its the best way to start a weekend.  The smell heightens the senses and awakens hunger…  After a long night’s fast, it is delightful to have such a tasty morsel to eat.

Friday night I prepared for the morning by mixing up the dough, letting rise and putting it in the fridge to chill.  When the time arrived, I was able to roll out my dough and make cinnamon rolls.  Then the hard part : waiting.  The rolls have to sit in the pan to rise before baking.  I looked around my kitchen to find something to help me pass the time.

And there it was, my small, hand-held Bible.  I opened it to the book of Psalms and sipped my cup while reading.  My spirit rose in me, greeting the very morning that my Savior had ordained, and my soul found contentment.  I had forgotten how lovely and fulfilling it is to dwell on Him as the sun is rising.

I popped the rolls into the oven and thought about my normal morning routine. Lately my day begins twisting and turning even before the sun beams through my kitchen window.  So, I read in the evening, or meditate in the night.  But, just like a hearty and delicious breakfast is wonderful and comforting after a night without food,  my heart and soul are satisfied  in the morning by the Words He offers.  A day that begins without His nourishment rushing through my veins, is like planning a full day of physical activities with only a few crumbs of dry toast.   I shouldn’t do it…

Sweet smells of cinnamon rolls began to mingle with beautiful thoughts from God’s word:

⁸ Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
For I lift up my soul to You.

And it is not that I don’t intend to read or pray in the evenings, or meditate on Him at lunchtime. No, the point is not a legalistic one.  It is simply this : I was amazed at how my day filled with hope and joy from the moment that I began to spend my thoughts on Him.  Strength was rising from his promises and I found courage!

Thank you Heavenly Father for such wonderful provision, available each and every morning. Truly, I am grateful for the most lovely of breakfasts!  amen.

amen.