I sat in the waiting room.  waiting.  waiting.  waiting.  If I had finger nails, I would have been biting them.  What was taking so long?  I don’t have the nerves for waiting.   Finally.  The doctor appeared at the door;  we’re half-way done and she’s doing well, he says.  And he disappears down the hall.

more waiting. What else is there to do?  Nothing,  that’s what.

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I am my mother’s daughter.  My mom, Rose, has never been one to slow down too much.    She’s always had the capacity for a high-powered, fast-paced life.  In a lot of ways, I’ve patterned my thought processes by watching her, and I think it can be summed up with this statement: “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.”  Perseverance and hard work are highly appreciated, with a “let’s get this job done” mentality…  There is nothing that can’t be included in a day’s work… and in a lot of ways, there is nothing wrong with this ideal…

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He brought my girl out, wobbly legged and chipmunk-cheeked.  Eyes wide open, a few tears welling – I knew we needed to get home ASAP.  But, we couldn’t.  There was waiting required at the pharmacy.  Slow seconds ticked by and me, I was terribly antsy – almost jittery…  I found myself begging the tech at the window for kindness, and could she hurry for on my sweet girl’s behalf?

20 minutes and we were on the road home.

We got home in record time, just in time for me to realize, we had all the time in the world.  How had I not seen the future? We were going to have to slow down.  No school work, no playing outside, no piano practicing.  Everything needed to be put on hold so that my sweet girl could rest and relax- and let her mouth heal.

I found myself sitting nearby, she on the couch, me in my white leather chair, waiting.  I did some laundry and other bits and pieces of housework. But mostly, I waited on her, keeping track of her medicine schedule, did she need a sip of something to drink? Was she okay, was she hurting?

On recovery day two, I found myself a bit uneasy trying to set aside my need to “do everything”, so that I could focus on just taking care of my girl.  At the end of the day, I found I had spent many of my hours chasing my tail,  trying to mind my other little ones, get house work done, spend moments with Emily, more work, a few meaningful seconds with my younger children and I was exhausted.  Frustrated, I headed to bed.  How could it be that I had done so much and at the same time, a lot of nothing at all!

It was then I realized, this was His way of helping me SLOW.  I could look at these moments over the next few days as an opportunity, or a problem.  Either I could continue in frustration and angst about not working as hard as “normal”, or I could relax and let myself off the hook and enjoy my moments with all of my children.

Examples of ‘new to me’ thought patterns: Is there sand on the floor?  Sure, but let’s read our books first – I’ll sweep later.  Are there a few dishes on the kitchen counter?  Maybe, but Mackenzie won’t want me to play with her and the dollhouse forever; she’ll move on and forget she wanted me to play with her.  Dishes will wait until I go into the kitchen to make lunch.    

And maybe, this was how I should have been considering life anyway…  moment to moment, my time with my kids first, then squeezing in my “work” as needed.

Obviously: Often there are many loads of laundry that need to be done, or the kitchen needs to be cleaned – those things are unavoidable, no doubt.  But, maybe this, my here and now of waiting for Emily to get better, is also a place of transition; It seems permission has been granted for me to rethink how important those things are to me.  Maybe those are the items that need to be squeezed into my day, rather than my children.

Let me add here : I homeschool, so yes, I spend almost all of my waking hours with my children…  But, it is very easy to live a “separated life” where I invest in teaching my children – but don’t slow down to enjoy it.  I’m consumed with completing the work that’s required, but I forget it is OKAY to stop, soak in it, love it- and love them in those minutes.

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Work is good.  I know that God gave me, as an individual, work to do.  But here is the truth : when perseverance and faithfulness are overcome by an overachiever attitude and a prideful heart – I have made a wrong turn.   And so, today, He’s started here, at the core – beginning His work first in my heart.  Then, I can treat my children as I should, as a treasured gift that the Heavenly Father has given me.   He has put me right smack dab in the middle of the big slow down to help me learn and be renewed in my thoughts!  What a comfort to know He’s moving in my heart and teaching me what I need to learn. And tho’ I’m a slow learner, He is patiently guiding me one day at a time.

Thank you Lord, for giving me the time and a heart to slow.

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And these are His words of peace to me, from Scripture, today, from Isaiah 54…   in His lovingkindness, He has reminded me of His promises today…His mercy on me, everlasting lovingkindness towards me and peace for my home as I continue in this calling as a mother:

10 For the mountains shall depart
And the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
Says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

11 “O you afflicted one,
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
¹² I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
¹³ All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
¹⁴ In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;

And then these encouraging words from Galatians 6, taking heart, not growing weary in the middle of this good work… the Spirit will continue it thru me…

⁸ For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. ⁹ And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. ¹⁰ Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

I introduced two close friends today.  Yes, I did.  One I’ve known for a really long time – since childhood, really.  The other, only a short time.  But, it was a good thing.  And I think we’re all going to get along quite well; we’ve already bonded.

So here’s how it went down:

“Favorit-est ever Chocolate Chip Cookie, I’d like you to meet my new friend, Chocolate-y chocolate Chipper.”  And they hit it off right away, as you can see.

I decided to give something a try.  Basically, I took my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, and turned it into a chocolate cookie with chocolate chips.  And, it was blissful.  I’m totally smitten, and I have to forcefully pull my hand back from the cookie jar and remind myself, “I made them for the kids…”  (wink, wink)

Anyway, the recipe is my own re-invention, and it turned out pretty well, considering, I have no training as a pastry chef or otherwise, and no real idea what I’m doing when it comes to experimenting on baking recipes.  Having said that, my children made me promise to bake them again, soon, and the cookies aren’t even half gone.

I knew you might want to give these babies a try, so here is the recipe.  I hope you like them as much as we do!

Melody’s Chocolate-y Chocolate Chippers

Ingredients:
12 tbsp butter
10 tbsp shortening
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
2 3/4 cups ap flour – could probably use another 1/4 cup flour…
scant 1/2 cup cocoa
1 tsp soda
1 tsp salt
dark chocolate chunks

Instructions:  Cream the butter and sugar, add the eggs and vanilla.  Then mix dry ingredients (minus the chocolate chunks) and combine the dry with the wet.  Then, stir in your chips.  I chilled the dough for two hours or so before baking. (I do think that it is important to keep your dough chilled)  drop the dough by teaspoons on the cookie sheet.

bake at 375 for 10 minutes, or so.

And now for the “big” announcement, (drum roll please…. ) I just wanted to let you all know that I have been selected as a guest writer for Incourage again.  I believe my post will be on the Incourage website on May 14th.  I’m a tiny bit excited about it, so I thought I would tell you, my friends without it seeming like I’m bragging, or anything.  I will be sure to give you a link here, the day it is posted.    Hope you’ll check it out!

I had big plans today, you know.  I was going to dive, head first into the sea that is known as strawberry jam.  Today was the day for me to try making jam for the first time ever.  A maiden voyage with new canning supplies.  Except it didn’t happen.

Around 11 AM, when I had not even begun the process, I realized that today was not going to be the day for jam after all.  And the truth is, I had something more important I was focusing on.  My husband was going to arrive home shortly to work for the afternoon on his project in the backyard, which involves a lot of back-breaking labor.  At about 10:30, I chose to divert my attention from making jam to something that I could make that would be special for him, that he could enjoy later when the work was done.

I’m a quick study when it comes to choosing the right recipe.  There was a book on my countertop, just waiting for me to select the right tasty treat, and so I did.  I decided to make my own delightful version of Martha Stewart’s Strawberry Icebox pie.  And that’s what I did.

The really special thing about this particular dessert today is that I made this pie in a very special plate.  It was given to me recently, an “heirloom” I suppose you could call it, that belonged to Michael’s grandma.  Rene Day had passed  long before I ever met Michael, so I can’t say that I knew her well. How I look forward to meeting her in glory someday.  Well, if there is one thing I feel like I do know about her its this: if she were alive today during this blissful season of strawberries, she very well might have made Michael her own specialty-  strawberry custard pie…  I think she also was known for baking (as well as doing a lot of other things) for those she loved.

So, that’s what this is:  a little love, from the “icebox” all because I like to bake for love.  Not to receive love, but to give love.  Its probably one of my favorite things to do. Its a yummy creation for my sweet and hard-working husband.  He totally deserved it.

the pie plate, with its unique cover.

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Snappy Strawberry Rhubarb Icebox Pie

You can look for the original recipe, I believe, on Martha’s website.  But  here are my exchanges/additions:

for the crust: I made my own crust with melted butter and a combination of gingersnap crumbs and cinnamon graham cracker crumbs and a few tablespoons of sugar.  baked at 350, for 10 minutes.

for the filling:  I cooked two cups of strawberries (give or take) with almost a cup of sugar and a half cup of rhubarb and 1/4 cup of cornstarch – my strawberries were in some of their own sugary juice, so I did not add the juice she suggests.  I put this in a sauce pan and let it cook until it was thickened – I used a masher to break up the large pieces.  When it was done cooking, I added fresh (uncooked) sliced strawberries – probably a half cup or so.  Then I put it in the fridge to chill.

for the topping- I whipped some cream and added some confectioner’s sugar to make it a touch sweet – I spread it over the chilled pie.

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And that’s it.  If you enjoy your time in the kitchen – you should make this for someone you love.  soon.  It really is wonderful, baking for love.

Most of my friends know that I like to read about cooking on different websites – like Pioneer Women and Cook’s Illustrated.  But, in an effort towards full disclosure, I must tell you that I am not that good of a cook. Baking, I love.  Cooking?  another story.   Reading a recipe online is only half of the battle, you know.

I’m fairly good in the kitchen at making a few select dishes some of the time.  But really, I’m unsuccessful at new recipes most of the time and so I continue making those same moderately successful menu items over and over again. That’s how my cooking skills have turned out…   And, I wish I could do better.  maybe someday.

At any rate, my hubby and I, a long time ago decided that we would try more often than not to eat at home rather than eat out.  And that is how we roll.  I plan groceries and meals for the week and we stick with it the majority of the time.  However, sometimes life happens and things just don’t work out.  This weekend was one of those times, and I just hadn’t been to the grocery store yet.

Tonight we arrived home from running a few errands and it was time for me to make supper.  As I walked into the kitchen I realized I was in need of a small cooking miracle… almost akin to the story in the Bible of the widow and the jars of oil (from @Kings 4).  I had no idea exactly what we were going to eat, but I did know we would have enough.

Sometimes I dismiss the wonder of His constant care and provision for my family….

Well, in a strange culmination of ideas gleaned from Pinterest, some leftovers and other random ingredients in my fridge, I had a small epiphany and realized there was something I could prepare.  I asked my husband if he was nervous that I was being “creative” in the kitchen.  He just laughed.  Apparently we’ve been down this road before…

Turns out my creation was DELICIOUS.  And I’m not joking. It truly was yummy, but please don’t laugh too much at me when you read the recipe.  Michael and I both loved it and I will probably make something similar again.  (I say similar because I don’t know if I’ll ever have these ingredients all at the same time again.)

Was mine a miraculous meal?  I’ll leave that to a theologian to decide.  But I can promise this: There is a God who provides and He is a miracle working God…  As I’ve re-read the story of 2Kings 4, I’m reminded once again:  He is a God of plenty.

² Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?”

   “Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a small jar of olive oil.”

 ³ Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. ⁴Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”

 ⁵ She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. ⁶ When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.”

   But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing.

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I offer you, humbly, without any delusions of culinary grandeur –

Melody’s left-over quesadilla pie.  

Ingredients: 4 tortillas  (trimmed to fit my 9 inch spring form pan), lots of cheese (several ends of chunks, shredded), a half a red pepper, half an onion, a last of some manwich meat and taco meat mixed together,  half cup of black beans, half cup of corn, a left over baked potato.  

Instructions:  Heat the oven to 375 and spray the bottom and sides of a spring form pan.  Trim the tortillas to fit into the spring form pan.  I began by dicing my half onion and half green pepper and the baked potato – and fried them up in a pan with a pat of butter.  Then, I put one tortilla in the bottom of the pan.  I spread the mixture of meat over the tortilla and sprinkle with cheese.  (I used pepper jack).  Next I set another tortilla over the meat.  I combined the corn and black beans and put them over the tortilla.  Sprinkled with more cheese.  (this time I used some colby jack)  After laying another tortilla over the corn and bean mixture, I spread the potato concoction over the tortilla, sprinkled more cheese and the topped with the final tortilla and put just a bit more cheese on the very top.  I baked it for about 20 minutes until it was heated all the way through.  

Seriously, you could do this with just about any of the flavor combinations you enjoy -all sandwiched together in layers of cheese and tortillas.  Oh the possibilities are endless!  Just whip up some of the stuff from your fridge and you can make your own leftover quesadilla pie, too.

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