In my head I know I’m not a rockstar.  Really, I do.  However, last week I got to tag a long with my husband, (who admittedly is not a rock star either) and we spent our days wearing back stage passes, being escorted place to place, relaxing comfortably in VIP rooms, with every need attended to.

My husband got to make music with some really cool friends, on a stage, in front of 16,000 people.  And I couldn’t have been more proud, because they rocked.

What a life.   (*sigh*)

It was an unforgettable week.

Before I get back to reality, I thought I’d share a few photos with you…

 

 

 

and that is all.  Now, I have some unpacking and laundry to do.

(photos taken from our front porch at sunset, just before dark.)

My oldest is afraid of the dark.  She won’t go down the hall to her bedroom, whether day or night, without turning on the light.  Don’t tell her I told you, because I think she might be embarrassed.

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I had this crazy idea that I would read the gospel of John while we were on vacation at the beach a few weeks ago.

And it wasn’t a crazy idea because I didn’t know if I would find time to read.  Oh, I read.

But I got stuck on the very first day.  I read the first five verses and stopped.  I thought.  and I read again. and I repeated that routine for 30 minutes.

Do you know what verse 5 of John chapter 1 says?

The light keeps shining in the dark, and darkness has never put it out. (Contemporary English Version)

The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;  the darkness couldn’t put it out. (the Message)

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.  (New Living Translation)

And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (New King James Version)

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When I was my daughter’s age, I was afraid of the dark.  In fact, I had a nightlight in my room until an embarrassingly late age.

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These days I’ve outgrown my fear of the dark, in a physical sense.  But, sometimes I have a different, more intense fear now.  It’s fear of the dark, darkness that’s caused by sin- a fear of how this world is carrying on – that maybe this thick cloud is going to close in around us.  And worse, I have to admit there’s this fear that creeps in; a fear that the very Light that is shining in my heart, the Holy Spirit himself, more and more is being diminished.

All you have to do is watch the news for roughly five minutes for fears like this to be ignited.  Terrorists bombing.  Predators violating.  Economy failing.  and those fears, they can quickly turn into a roaring flame within moments.  That is, if you don’t know those words from John 1:5.

The darkness can not extinguish the Light.

It can’t.  It won’t.  Ever.

And that same Light, while I was on vacation trying to read the book of John, shone this truth so brightly into my heart that I can’t forget it.   Even this fear of mine has been overcome by the Light, proving the very words of John.

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Heavenly Father,  Thank you for the Words of Life that you have pressed so evidently into my heart in a permanent fashion.  Help me to remember there is no need to fear because You are present in me.   And that I can show my daughter how to live without fear too, trusting in You, our inextinguishable, undefeatable God!  amen

 

This past week I’ve been reminded of the stuff that makes up my life, for which I am immensely grateful.   I confess here, openly and with a bit of shame, that I am mostly, on a day-to-day basis ungrateful.  And, while it is nowhere near November,  my heart declares it Thanksgiving Day, because I need to recall these blessings.

Heavenly Father, I am embarrassed to realize that some of my regular old every day kind of blessings have gone somewhat unnoticed. But, my heart longs to be thankful – and I am not reticent to all of the ways you reminded me last week; for…

my family,

my girls,

and my boys,

belly laughing,

sand digging,

waves crashing,

happy memories

good times,

and last, but certainly not least, the love of this sweet man.

For all of these things, and so, so much more, I give thanks.  amen.

This week I am at the beach with my family.

Waves roll in and out, with a life all their own; no one directing them, but The Maker.  Their work is therapeutic;  thorough and complete…

cleansing the mind and emotions of all who know them.

And, while I’m here at the beach, I’m spending time immersed in the waves of Living Water, letting Him refresh my heart and make me new.

from John 4:7-13

⁷ A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” ⁸ For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.

⁹ Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.

¹⁰ Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”

¹¹ The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? ¹² Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?”

¹³ Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

And I acknowledge this time here, with tides rushing over me, overcoming my senses: this is just what my thirsty, dried up soul needs.  Living Water, do your work in me.

The silence was deafening, probably because of what I’d said.  Our conversation had screeched to a halt, and the voice on the other end of the line was quiet.

My friend, who lives far away, had called to share about something that was going on in her life.  It had become big and powerful and she was hurting.  I had listened carefully.  I really had.  And then I told her what I had recently learned.

Because what good is all this painful, jacked-up stuff, if I don’t learn from it?

My personal discovery had come to pass when I was alone one evening.   I had sequestered myself in my bedroom to get something cleared up, and I wasn’t coming out until I did.  You see, I had a lump.  It was a large, thick knot, resting right in the bottom of my stomach.

It wouldn’t go away,  mostly because I wouldn’t let it.

But after two long weeks of carrying that immense and ugly hunk of worry around, I was worn out. completely exhausted.  And in the moments alone in my room, I heard Him say it…

“Give it here.”

He said it gently but firmly, kind of  like I’d say to one of my children if they had something harmful or dangerous in their hands.

Excuses followed.  “But, I don’t know how this is all gonna turn out.  I have to think it over, and I need to plan for all of the hundreds of scenarios that may or may not happen.  I…”

“Hand it over.  It is not good for you.  I don’t want you to have that.”

Then He quietly whispered promises in my ears and I was reminded of what I needed to know most:

He cares for me.  He is in control.  He is all that I need.  And I have no legitimate worry.  period.

from Matthew 6:

³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

and from Matthew 11:

²⁸ Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

And He reached in and pulled that knot out, because He doesn’t want me to have that in the pit of my stomach – and He replaced it with these absolutely glorious assurances of provision and rest; promises that I’m unable to live without.

So, that’s what I told my friend, who was in the middle of the struggle, succumbing to that same fear- knot, “You know, He doesn’t want you to have that knot, right? He wants you to give it to Him.”

Each day as I learn to give it all to Him, there is fresh peace and rest for my soul.   And I’m grateful that He is able to remove what I shouldn’t have and replace it with what I need.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for taking away what I shouldn’t have, and replacing it with what I need.  amen.