It was an unusual day, Friday was.  Four AM was my wake up call.  That’s right.  4 AM.   The Heavenly Father Himself was on the line and He had a few things to say to me.  Boy, did He have my attention.

I went to bed on Thursday night, like any other night.  All of my loved ones nestled in their beds, Michael and I cozy.  Early the next morning, Mackenzie woke up and needed me, so I went in to her bedroom. A few minutes later I heard a commotion and I found my husband, in the next room, passed out.

fast forward.

By Friday afternoon, I was sitting in the Emergency Room of Memorial Hospital, my hands shaking with an uncontrollable tremor, my head fuzzy without a clear thought on the horizon.  Michael had been taken for a CT scan of his head and a chest x-ray. There I sat, in an uncomfortable chair, waiting for him to be returned to me.  The only thoughts I could manage were things like, how will I pay the bills if my husband is terminally ill?  and, how can I possibly do this life alone?

My heart’s phone rang.  “Hello?”  I said, in a barely audible voice. “Is that You?”  I asked.

And He said, “Yes, my child.  Are You ready to come to me now?”

“Oh Heavenly Father, You know I am Yours.  We started this journey together a long time ago.”

“That is very true,” he answered, “But, You’ve ventured out alone today.  Is that really how you want to travel? by yourself?”

I can’t lie to you.  A few hot tears slipped down my cheeks here, because it was true.  Many times, I hear His voice, right away and follow.  Others, I forget to listen, and forge ahead – assuming I’m going this on my own.

“My dear daughter, I sent my son to die, so that You would be saved from certain death.  But, also so that You would have salvation, moment to moment in this life.  Regardless of what happens here today, you will not, under any circumstances do life alone.”  And He said the following words, so that they were permanently  pressed into my heart.  I won’t forget them… (at least not for a really long time):

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

And I did.  I moved towards Him. I stepped closer and He held me in His arms right there, in the Emergency Room and we waited together.  The tremors stopped, my mind found a bit of peace and my heart was at rest. Over the last few days I’ve realized that I can not get close enough.  I never will, not until Eternity.    But for now, I just need to keep stepping in, one step more.  and keep listening, when He calls.

I’m blessed beyond measure to tell you that after a lot of tests, we know that Michael is okay.  For that, I am very thankful.  I am amazed at how my Heavenly Father loves, and continually draws me to Himself, again and again.

Thank you Heavenly Father for such a wondrous love.

(the full version…)

It wasn’t long ago, that my children were obsessed.  They watched Mary Poppins whenever I let them turn on the television.  Sometimes they would just forward through the movie and watch only the music and dancing scenes.  There was a point where I wanted to hide the disk…

Watching Mary, the new nanny,  move dramatically around the children’s nursery  snapping and singing about the “fun” of cleaning up was more than I wanted to hear at times.  “Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down…”  I can hear Julie Andrew’s voice now, happily lilting along.  In the movie she teaches Jane and Michael that it takes just a little bit of sweetness in life to make the hard things a bit easier.

I’ll admit it: I was skeptical.

I’ve had my own “medicine” to swallow this week.  There’s been a difficult, frustrating lesson for me to learn.  I feel like my Heavenly Father has just handed it to me and said, “Here.  Take this.”  And bam.  I’m choking on it.

“Where’s my spoonful of sugar?”  Well, that’s what I feel like demanding, anyway.

As a little girl, I remember my mom would give us medicine when we needed it.  She would crush up a child’s pain reliever, and administer it on a teaspoon completely covered in a puddle of honey.  It made the most awful tasting white powder seem wonderful.  Back then I didn’t mind medicine.   Not that way…

So, I’ve been looking high and low. Surely there is something to make this all go down easier.  Isn’t there anything to help this bitter after- taste?  Where can I find my spoonful of goodness to help me take my medicine?  After a week of searching, I’ve come to realize maybe I know where to find everything I need, I’m just not savoring it.

If it is true that Jesus will never leave me or forsake me (Joshua 1:5),   if He died on the cross suffering every pain and tragedy in my place (Isaiah 53:4-6), or if I need to know that there is one who understands my circumstances (Hebrews 4:14-15), then I can meditate on these things.  And if that is not enough, I can think about other promises from His Word : that He will give strength and grace when I need it (Psalm 18:1-3),  that above all others He is in control (Psalm 147:4-5 ), and He loves me deeply (Zephaniah 3:17).

Oh how I need to remember these truths when I walk through trials and hardships!  If I dwell on Him a little bit longer, His sweetness will break through any bitterness.

His name is like honey on my lips.  Taste and see that He is good…

When I am frustrated over circumstances beyond my control…. Jesus.  If  illness and tragedy  cross my path… Jesus. For moments when I feel alone in the struggle… Jesus.  In the middle of conflict… Jesus.  When I am absolutely, undeniably afraid… Jesus.  If healing for a relationship is needed… Jesus.  If it is time to make a hard decision… Jesus.  In times when I need to just let go… Jesus.  For peace and rest on sleepless nights… Jesus.

I am surprised at how just a little goes a long way.  And at the same time, there is more than I need for every hurt and every conflict:  in each situation He is always enough.  Thank you, Jesus for your goodness!

I will sing to the LORD as long as I live;  I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.  May my meditation be sweet to Him;  I will be glad in the LORD.  Psalm 104:33-34.

(a photo from our fairly normal Saturday morning)

Saturday began like most Saturdays.  Nothing too unusual.  Breakfast out, groceries, a bit of playing at the park with the kids – like I said normal.  Late in the afternoon I decided to go downstairs for a workout on my elliptical.  Its been so hot here over the summer that is where I have been running.

I began my running habit last spring.  At the time it seemed like a good idea.  I had no idea it would be such a struggle.  There have been so many benefits from my running – I feel great, I’ve dropped a pants size.  Yes, I’ve enjoyed the outcome.  And still, It is hard for me to continue.  The fact is : I don’t really like to exercise. It is hard.

This sounds a lot like another part of my life.  Not long before my running, I started another habit.  My blog.  A year ago this month, I began writing, here on Daily Portion.  Now, I actually love to write.  I didn’t know I did until I got going, but I do.  However, there are times that it is very hard to continue.  I mean, really hard. I’m sharing some of the deepest, darkest secrets of my heart, here, on the world wide web for anyone and everyone to see.  But, I’ve felt from the beginning, that it is what my Heavenly Father is asking of me, so I press on…

Back to my Saturday.  I hopped on my machine, with my earbuds in, and I began the warm-up.  My iPod shuffle was in rare form.  The workout began with a bit of Stevie Wonder’s “My Cherie Amour,” and then it jumped to some blues-y Stevie Ray Vaughn.  Around the thirty minute mark, when the running was getting a bit tough, you may not believe what happened…  Chris Tomlin came on belting out, “Your Grace is Enough.”  As I heard those words, the culmination of all my fears and concerns about my own inability bubbled to the surface – about running, about being a mom, a blogger, and anything else God has called me to do.  Right there on the elliptical machine.

…and I heard Him clearly say to me, above the noise of my worries and my earbuds, “My dear child, my grace is so much more than enough for you.  so much more.”

Have you ever wept while you’re trying to work out?

Inspired by His words to me, I kept going.  Next song up on the playlist, “I am a Friend of God.”  As I ran harder and longer, I marveled at the fact that He is my friend, that He calls me His friend… As I finished up my forty-five minute run, I realized something I’ve known in my head, but my heart had not remembered in a while.

The creator of the Universe is my friend, and HE has all the strength and grace for me to continue doing everything that is required.  for running.  for blogging.  for living.  And, He’s willing to remind me through my earbuds, in the middle of a run, on a Saturday that turned out to be not so normal after all.

Who doesn’t need to be reminded of these words from Psalm 84?

 ¹⁰ For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
¹¹ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly.

¹² O LORD of hosts,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Heavenly Father.    I don’t deserve your friendship, or the grace that You give.  But I need it.  I can’t live without it.  Thank you.  thank you. thank you.

amen.

Have I ever mentioned one of my very favorite treats?  Maybe not.  It is my GG’s recipe for chocolate sauce and I love it with my whole heart.  It has a very deep flavor  of cocoa blended with vanilla. The texture is very unique ; smooth, but a bit chewy – certainly not like processed, jarred sauces from the store.  I made homemade chocolate sauce for sundaes tonight.  It is a sweet treat to mark an ending.  Today, Friday was the end of our summer.

*sigh*

I knew it was coming.  My start date for the school year has been on the calendar for quite some time. But it doesn’t make it any easier.  Monday morning we will hit the ground running, implementing our new daily schedule.

I can feel my temperature begin to rise, just thinking about it all.  Why?  Well, I’m anxious because it is all new.  again.  New subjects.  New schedule.  New curriculum and books.  And most of all – a new student.  I’ve got all of the challenges a new school year brings, multiplied by two now because Isaac is beginning kindergarten.  It makes last year seem like a piece of cake.

With a sweet kiss of chocolate we say “goodbye” to staying up late on summer nights and sleeping in whenever we want.  We say “so long” to playing outside in the sprinkler and unplanned trips to the park.  Sleepovers at grandmama’s house will have to be saved for weekend nights.  And we say “hello” to history timelines, multiplication tables, Scripture memory work and lots of read aloud books – just to name a few…

The good news, that I’ve been rehearsing in my heart and mind all week is this:   My Heavenly Father is in the business of new beginnings.  Even though endings can be hard to face, there is always a fresh start available.  He offers it freely- even now –  at 10 pm on my last night of summer vacation.

The words He has given to me from Scripture are encouraging as I embark down this new path.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

It is simple, but absolute truth, from His heart to mine. Better than chocolate sauce, it makes the evening sweet and my new beginning even sweeter.

So, you may not know this but there are some things that seem to transcend cultural boundaries…  I have found first hand over the past month that this is very true.  in food and in play.  That is where I’ve noticed it happening this week.

I had the privilege of cooking in my mother in law’s kitchen with my cousin Maud.  She showed me first hand how to make the real deal, honest to goodness french beef bourguinon.  It was so fun – and wow, was it delicious.  I will definitely make it again.

My sweet girl, Emily has developed quite a friendship with her cousin, Kierin.  Although they don’t speak the same language, it just doesn’t seem to matter.  They have played together, inside and out. Emily tried to teach Kierin how to shoot her bow.

And of course, we couldn’t host our French guests without going to see the Lookouts play an all-American Baseball Game!

What a week!  and I have a few photos to show for it!

In the first grade, my teacher, Mrs. Huarez taught us the hymn “Trust and Obey.”  It was a great song for all of us first grade students to learn, I’m sure.  Every six year old needs lessons in obedience.  I still remember the words to this day…

When we walk with the Lord
In the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way;
While we do His good will,
He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

For the longest time I have thought that those were two very good things to do as a believer.  trust and obey.  I should trust my Heavenly Father and I should obey Him.  Back then, in the first grade it seemed so easy.

It’s not.

I thought I understood it until I started trying to teach Isaac to swim.  All summer we have been working on jumping into the water from the edge of the pool.  It goes something like this: I give him the run-down before we get in the water and we talk over exactly what is going to happen.  I assure him that I will catch him.  I make all kinds of promises regarding the outcome like, he won’t go under, or I won’t let go – that sort of thing.  But, when it comes down to it and he is standing on the ledge, and I’m down in the water waiting, he can’t do it.  He insists on holding my hands to get into the water.

He’s just not prepared to trust me.  How do I know?  He can’t seem to obey my instructions.

Really Isaac is mirroring my own response to the Heavenly Father.   Often there are times when I show Him how little I trust Him by lacking the faith to move forward in obedience.  Because the truth is, “trust” and “obey” are not simply two separate little requirements of a believer.  In fact, they are linked.  inseparable.  When it comes to the hard stuff, the really really hard stuff, obedience is the only evidence of a child who truly trusts his Heavenly Father.

I can think of two times over the past week where He has held his hands out to me and said, “Jump!  I promise I’ll catch you!” But, I’ve stood with my toes at the line, unable to leap into his open arms.  even though I know His promises.  even though I desperately want to trust Him.

So, I’ve been re-reading Hebrews 11 – I read these words tonight:

⁶ But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

I realized as I read the chapter over and over – these men who are listed as men of faith, committed out-landish stunts of obedience.  They made the roll in the 11th chapter of Hebrews because they obeyed.  The way to please my Heavenly Father is not simply having faith –  It is having enough faith to obey even when it is risky.

If I’m honest with myself, I have to say that I do not know how to do this consistently.  But, I’m trying.  I’m praying that He will give me the faith.  I suppose that means I’ll continue to face circumstances that require me to practice my obedience.   But, as I continue the journey, I can keep singing the hymn I learned so long ago.  Come to think of it, maybe I should teach it to Isaac too!

Trust and obey,
For there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey.

Late Wednesday night, around 10:30, I received a text from Michael, my husband.  He was with his parents in Atlanta at the airport.    The text read, “They are here, exhausted.”   Michael, his mom and dad were experiencing an important Day family milestone.   For the first time Michael’s dad, Johnny, was meeting his half brother, his niece and his three great nephews.  The were arriving from France.

Not quite two years ago Johnny learned of this family.  Immediately emails, ichats, face-time, letters and every form of long-distance communication possible began.  Across the ocean they started the process of getting to know one another.   There were so many questions. They wanted to learn about their roots; they wanted to know who they are.

Unfortunately, the one person they needed to meet had passed away.  Their father, grandfather and great grandfather had gone on to heaven a few years before.  The only way for them to get to know the man they had never known was to meet his family.

And so, they are here – in Tennessee, meeting all of us.  Michael’s parents have been preparing for months for the “french family” to arrive.  It is unspoken, but known by those of us in the Day family : we need to show our new-found family their father’s love.

These words remind me of something that I know, but forget sometimes.  Everywhere there are people in my day-to day life.  People who don’t know my heavenly Father.  Oh, they are searching for Him. Their eyes are empty, their hearts are broken; they do not know what it is like to be cared for by my Father.

The only way they can experience His love is if I love them.  He knew it would be this way.  So He commanded in John 15:

⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

If I can show those around me the Father’s love, their questions can be answered, their hearts can find healing.  It is the love of the Father that draws them in, through the power of the Holy spirit and by adoption they come into the family.    from Romans 8:

¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.  And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

I can’t help but realize that as a daughter of the Heavenly Father it is my job to answer the question.  Hearts that are hurting and searching find healing and answers when they learn of their Father’s love.  And it is a beautiful thing when another son or daughter joins the family.

No more questions.  We’re family.

That is what this picture is worth.  Maybe even more.  so I will say just one.

brothers.

More words to come, when I’m not choked up.

m