Tires.  That’s what my husband told me we were getting for Christmas.  Recently we made the decision that while visiting my parents in Michigan over the holidays we would go across the border to visit my grandparents near London, Ontario.  That choice also meant we needed new tires on the Honda.

Well, merry christmas to us.

So, last Saturday we loaded up the van and headed over the river and thru the woods, over the mountain and down into the Sequatchie Valley to Dunlap, TN.  Oh yes.  The booming metropolis of Dunlap.  for tires.  yep.

We decided to make our purchase there because Michael’s coworker had given us the low-down about this place, and the good deals. He sang their praises, of great prices and quality tires, with excellent service.  Of course it was impossible to pass up the opportunity, so that was where we had to go.

When we arrived, I saw the truth of the matter, for my own eyes.  As we pulled around back, into the alley behind the old hardware store, I began to feel skeptical.  Old tires and new tires piled everywhere.  Expensive luxury cars, and old beaters were waiting in line together.  It all seemed highly suspect.  And I couldn’t help but ask myself:

Is this really it?  Is this my Christmas?  Surely this can’t be the place…

sigh…

And as we sat there in the alley, literally jacked up, waiting our turn for the blessed new tires, I couldn’t help but wonder.

Is this how the Shepherds felt?

I mean, after all, there they were in the fields with their sheep, completely caught off guard by the news.  The angels declared, “He’s here! He’s here!  The prince of peace has arrived!  Follow the star and go to Him!”  And as they head out on the journey, still in a bit of a fog after all the excitement, they’re  just about to leave the pasture when the angel says, “Oh, and by the way, He’s in a barn, in a manger…”

say what?

Now, if I had been a shepherd, I think that last bit of information would have caused me to pause for just a moment…  “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”  I’m sure as we worked our way toward the star I would have been trying to convince my fellow travelers, “Doesn’t it look like we’re headed toward the governor’s palace?” or, “Really, that star seems to be shining right over top of the Ritz-Carlton,”  “Surely He’s not actually in a barn…”

“And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph and the baby lying in the manger…”

This just can’t be my Christmas… can it?

The King of Kings didn’t come to earth the way I would have expected.  I can’t speak for the shepherds, but it certainly seems to me as though the Prince of Peace did not arrive in  appropriate royal fashion.  No, He came in the most weak and poor, unassuming way, without pomp and circumstance.  It was unlikely.  unusual.  unsuspecting.

But He came just the way He planned.  He made himself of no reputation.  Humbly He began preparing to be The Savior.  With this lowly beginning, He gave his life, so that all could have life.  All of us.

Just think -one of the most unusual gifts of all time, across the ages has become the most valuable… God himself, here, dwelling with us.  Back then, who would have suspected how it would turn out?  Not me.  certainly not me.

Here’s a bit of the story to think over again. and again.  So surreal…  yet wonderfully, absolutely gloriously true!

¹⁵ So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” ¹⁶ And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. ¹⁷ Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. ¹⁸ And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds. ¹⁹ But Mary kept all these things and pondered themin her heart. ²⁰ Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.

A month or two ago I found Emily at the kitchen table, working on something.  She was preparing to use a piece of paper and marker.  I asked her what she was up to and she said, “I’m going to put a few important rules on paper that I don’t want to forget,”  and these were the two rules she wrote down:

1. Be polite.

2.  Keep your shoes tied.

Hmmmm… you have to admit, those are pretty important…

She and I got to talking after this, you know about learning life skills and I reminded her of something we had been learning.  It was a Scripture verse, that was also helpful.  It goes like this:

“Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 10:12)

She agreed it should make the list.

Aside from the most important commandment in Scripture to Love the Lord your God, I can’t think of any other instructions that is given more often.  Love one another.  And this year, it has become our home school mantra.  I mean, how else can we survive being together day in and day out with out these words:  “Be devoted”   It is the answer to every relationship dilemma.

He won’t share with me! …  be devoted.

She’s not being fair…  be devoted.

I don’t want him to do that… be devoted.

Make him stop touching me!…. be devoted.

And the list goes on and on.

What’s interesting is, I wasn’t prepared for how much I needed to learn the lesson I’ve been teaching my children.   I mean, in my head I know the information.  I am supposed to love others.  However, living it is a totally different issue.   The very words I found myself saying regularly to my children when they weren’t getting along, I now heard echoing in my own ears.

Plans are changing because my husband has to work late and I’m feeling less than happy about it…  be devoted.

My children need something, but there is something I’d rather do for myself… be devoted.

A friend needs help, and it isn’t very convenient... be devoted.

Be devoted : It is one of the most important rules He gave, and yet it happens to be difficult to accomplish.  The only way for me to live it  is to understand  that I can love others because He has loved me.

These are the words that He said, just before He left the earth:

³³ Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come,’ so now I say to you. ³⁴ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. ³⁵ By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (from John 13)

Simply put:  He loved us with His whole life, and experiencing just how much he loves me allows me to love others unselfishly.  Wow! It isn’t easy.   I am human and want to put my own desires first.  That’s just how I am.  But Jesus asks for something so different.  And, I do believe it is the best way to live.  It almost tops the list, right below loving God with my whole heart and just above being polite and keeping your shoes tied.

Is there anything better than a hand-made gift made by the hands of someone who loves you?  No, I think not.

There are presents made with love in my history that I remember far and above other gifts.  A dress, sewn by my grandmother.  A creche made by daughter’s five year old hands.  A quilt made by my Great grandmother.  All fill my heart with joy when I recall opening them, using them, enjoying such a gift of love.

I made Christmas sugar cookies for my children’s choir this week.  Because I love them – and they have been working hard.  So, I gently rolled out the dough and cut Christmas tree shapes.  Then, I baked them, let them cool and decorated them, carefully  with a steady hand.  It was work, but I did it on purpose.  I wanted my little singers to have something special.

At this time of year, I’m reminded of the ultimate gift.  God, our Heavenly Father, sent His only Son to earth.  By His own handiwork, He made Jesus into flesh and blood – Emmanuel, Incarnate – here to dwell with us.  It was such a personal gift of love.  Just when I think I’ve got my mind wrapped around it, I realize I don’t really comprehend it.

Over the past couple of days I’ve read Luke chapter 1&2 again and again.  I’d paste the passage in here, but that would make this post incredibly long.   While I’m waiting for the story to sink in I’ve been wondering:  Could I ever give away that much of myself?  of my time and my heart?   I don’t know, but I’d like to try.  I’ve been asking the Heavenly Father to show me how to give more, and give better.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for the gift of your Son – what an incredible, radical gift of love! Because of this gift, I am filled with wonder at the knowledge of your love for me.  Help me to give myself away more freely because of this love I’ve come to know.  Your love towards me is limitless – let me find the strength to give beyond my own limits.  amen.

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This is one of the songs my children’s choir is learning right now and my heart swells when I hear it.  Praise God for the hallowed manger ground!

Emmanuel

What hope we hold this starlit night

A King is born in Bethlehem

Our journey long, we seek the light

That leads to the hallowed manger ground

What fear we felt in the silent age

Four-hundred years can He be found

But broken by a baby’s cry

Rejoice in the hallowed manger ground

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

God incarnate, here to dwell

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

Praise His name Emmanuel

The son of God, here born to bleed

A crown of thorns would pierce His brow

And we beheld this offering

Exalted now the King of kings

Praise God for the hallowed manger ground!

I played for a Christmas concert at our church on Sunday evening.  The program was filled with many beautiful carols and Christmas songs and I was privileged to accompany a portion of it.  All was going along quite normally, nothing out of the ordinary or unusual.

Well, it was ordinary right up until my friend Gretchen sang these words in her rich soprano voice:

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming, with glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of this star sweetly gleaming, here came the wise men from orient land.

The king of Kings lay thus in lowly manger; in all our trials born to be our friend.  

He knows our need.  Our weakness is no stranger.  Behold your King!  before Him lowly bend…  

And right there, mid Christmas carol, I was literally bent low by the power of this King. When the song ended, it was physically difficult to get up from the piano bench…

For those of us prepared to take the Christmas story seriously, it is undeniable just how powerful this baby and His story is.  It is just now, this year that I have come to realize it is so much more than I’ve heard before.  We’re not talking about a pleasant little fable where there was a baby born, by some unfortunate circumstance in a stable with the barn animals. The King of Kings, made Himself flesh and blood, in the lowliest of places. On purpose.  He came, prepared to be a part of our earthly filth and brokeness.  Not one need goes unnoticed,  each weakness is understood.  And even though He is the most powerful person to ever set foot on this earth, He stoops low to be my friend.

This information is mind numbing.  breath taking.  surreal.  It is almost more than I can comprehend.

Sunday night was a new beginning.  As I sat in that pew I understood in a completely new way that the very same power that came into our world so long ago, is still here today.  It is fresh, working in the hearts of all who will hear.  Believe me, I know.  I felt it, weak-kneed – as I tried to get up from the piano bench.  I can’t bring His story to mind without sensing it in my heart.  He is still holy and powerful today.    God came then, and He still comes now.  He finds me mid the daily grind, or on a path of pain,  and He surrounds my very being with mercy and power.  When I recognize His presence, I find He is able to make each moment sacred.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for revealing Yourself to me a little bit and then a little bit more.  May I revel in the wonder of that Holy Night that was the beginning of your redemption plan.  I am grateful for your Holy presence in my heart and life… may I never forget what a gift it truly is! amen.

I have a baby girl, you know.  Her name is Mackenzie and she is the feistiest of little girls.  Many opinions and ideas.  Crazy ideas.  And a lot of activity.  dancing, galloping (she does not run, only gallops up and down our hallway) chattering;  and she bosses everyone around who is within ear shot… That’s my girl.

About a year ago I began demonstrating how to give kisses.  She would barely manage to sit still and snuggle, let alone get her face close enough to mine so I could touch my lips to her soft little baby cheeks.  But I would sneak one every once and a while, and she would acquiesce.  sometimes.

But a mother needs to kiss her baby girl.

We practiced.  See Mackenzie, this is how you give a kiss…  and I would plant one – muwah!  and she would giggle.  and when I would say, Now give Mommy kisses, my sweet girl would just giggle even more and turn her cheek to my lips for another. Quickly it became a bit of a game.  I think she was always the winner, getting lots of kisses.

But a mother needs kisses from her baby girl…

Yesterday was a miracle day.  I picked her up, happened to go through our routine, and I said, like this Kenzie, and upon demonstrating she responded in kind!  I was stunned, to feel her kiss on my face!  And the joy that turned round and round like a whirl wind in my heart!  goodness!

Its just in time you know…  it won’t be long and my baby will be grown, no more soft little cheeks to caress…

Long ago, our Heavenly Father loved us so much that He kissed the earth with His presence in the form of His Son. A tiny baby in a manger,  He demonstrated His love with this unprecedented gift.  And while He does not force our love, He sure does hope for it.   I feel sure that the kisses we send Him do not go unnoticed.

from 1John 4:

⁹ In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. ¹⁰ In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for this precious gift of your Son, for the forgiveness of sins and life everlasting.  Help me to know how to love you better in return.  Instead of being stingy with my kisses, I want to respond generously and whole heartedly with my life.  Let me find ways to do it in the here and now – I don’t want to miss the opportunities, because the time is short! amen.

(our advent wreath, celebrating the coming of Christ)

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.  John 1:14

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Joy, not because of our circumstances.  Joy, not because of the tangible things we hold dear.  Joy, not because of earthly trappings. or because we are without pain and suffering.  No.

Joy – because He was Heaven’s joy, the apple of His Father’s eye.  Joy, because He came – and with His arrival He brought mercy and forgiveness.  Joy, because in Him all will be made right.    Joy, because He alone brings the hope of deliverance.

JOY.

I want this joy to nestle down into my heart this morning and linger there through the winter…

So, I’m departing from my regularly scheduled events this morning… to share something simple. These are just words from a Christmas song that I am learning with my kid’s choir at church.   But they became so real to me last night as I listened to the sweet voices of children sing them.   Here is joy:

Jesus, Joy of the Highest Heaven

Jesus, joy of the highest heaven

Born as a little baby under a wondrous star

Like us, crying He takes his first breath,

Held by his mother, helpless, close to her beating heart.

Jesus, laid in a lowly manger

Facing a world of dangers

Come to turn me, a stranger

Into a child of God.

Jesus, King of the highest heaven

Learning to take His first steps that He might bring us life.

Like us, knowing our smiles and sorrows

He showed the way to follow, a way that is true and right,

Jesus, take away every darkness.

Steady my simple footsteps,

that I might in your goodness,

Live as a child of God.

Its been a decade.  Ten years.   Never has time flown by so quickly.  I promise you that just a few sleeps ago this girl was my precious little baby doll,  a few blinks later she was five… And now today, she is ten.

I can honestly tell you I barely remember life without her.  She is a kind and gentle spirit, with just enough gumption to be herself and swim upstream if necessary.  That’s my girl!  And she has brought us so much joy, happiness and love.

My heart feels like it is being squeezed.

Many of my friends have older children.  They tell me to be afraid of the double digit years, that it can be complicated.  And it is probably true.  But I’m not afraid of the future that way.  I’m just afraid of the past and how fast it has gone.   Time is not on my side here, and I know it.

As we celebrate ten years of life with Emily, I can tell you that I am grateful she has chosen to follow Him. I feel sure that He has begun a good work in her heart and He will complete it.   That makes all of this “ten years old” business just a teeny bit easier.

*sigh*

One thing I do know.  I have been praying that I will live intentionally in each moment; that I will take each opportunity to love my sweet girl while we are together, so that one day, just a few years from now when she’s ready to be out on her own, I will have beautiful memories stored up to cherish.

It sounds like a good plan in theory, right?

Anyway… I’m off for a day of birthday fun with my Emily!    But, I leave you with these words from Marie Beyon Ray:

“We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand…and melting like a  snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.”

Emily received a very special gift for her tenth birthday… here dad is giving a few pointers!

It is November 26th.  Thanksgiving has passed.  I have my feet propped up, I’m all cozy in our living room, sipping a cup of hot tea listening to my favorite advent album, “Behold the Lamb of God,” by Andrew Peterson.  Most of the calendar year passes and I try not to listen to it.  But, as the air becomes crisp and December approaches, I just can’t help it.

I confess to you that this year has been more arduous for me emotionally than I planned; long before autumn gave way to cooler temperatures, rough winds of life battered my heart.  I found a longing brewing, even swelling in my soul.  There was a need, and I couldn’t deny it.

I’ve been trying to remember what makes Advent special.  Why is Christmastime so necessary?   And I’m not talking about a special present that was given to me, or the joy of giving to others or any of those wonder-filled things.  What is it about the birth of Christ that I need?

That’s the miracle I’ve been searching for, the warmth that comes at advent. I remember what it feels like.  I do.  But those harsh, cold winds blew out any embers that had been burning. So, I’m snuggled up, listening to music of advent, reflecting on His arrival, waiting for hope to fill this heart of mine…

And I realize… Its not just a warmth.  I need the ache …

I wonder what it was like to hope for His arrival?  to hope for this Son of God, Son of man to be born?

I think my situation is mild in comparison to the children of Israel who waited for their Messiah so long ago.  If I’m anxious to revive my heart, oh what they must have felt.  I have history to rehearse…They were waiting to make history.  The ache that must have burned in their hearts while they were awaiting the arrival of their Savior, The Promise!  How they must have shed tears begging for prophecy to be fulfilled!

O Come, O Come Emmanuel…  

Their longing must have been intense, their wait terribly long.  But they knew the future of nations depended on it.   Prophets had foretold HE was coming and the people had believed it… Did the cold winds blow out their embers of hope?  When He arrived, were their hearts barely glowing?

These cries of the Israelites are not so far off from what I feel in my own heart and spirit at this time of year.  Even as they, so long ago awaited the birth of the Savior, today we wait.  I’m a believer who has been given new life in Christ, and still at this time of year I sense the need to ache.  I want to feel that fiery intensity; longing and hoping for Him to fulfill prophecy again, just as He did all of those years ago.

Come, O Redeemer Come!

As I sit here a little longer and let the warm music run over my soul, I feel my heart ignite at the wonder of His arrival all of those years ago.  God incarnate; He chose to come and dwell on the earth, here with us.  My heart begins to glow with new fervor as I remember this: our God  is a covenant keeping God.  Knowing He came then, there is newly lit hope with the belief that He will come again to redeem this broken world!

This is the beauty of Advent that I need…  the warmth that comes from remembering and knowing He fulfilled His promise the first time, but also the ache of waiting and hoping for Him to return to make this world new.

Blessed Redeemer, We long for your return.  O come, O come Emanuel.  Make our hearts ready for your arrival.  amen.

Happy Thanksgiving, from my family to yours!

I pray that your homes were filled with wonderful aromas of the season,  

warm-hearted fellowship with friends and loved ones,

and deep-felt Thanksgiving to our gracious Father in Heaven.  

(oh, and a full tummy and a good afternoon nap too!) 

My feisty little toddler, Mackenzie, who daily teaches me about myself…

With both hands clenched in fists, pumping the air overhead, my littlest shouted, “I did it!”  We had been working a 35 piece Mickey Mouse puzzle together.  She took great pride whenever another piece fit into place.  At the age of two, my toddler, by my estimation, is plain smart.  No two ways about it.

But she’s not that brilliant.

She really tried to work the puzzle, but without much success until I handed her the pieces and helped fill the holes.  At times she would demand, “Give me that piece!”  or “Put a piece here!”  Some times I could fulfill her wishes.  But other times, the pieces she wanted me to use didn’t fit properly.  As we finished with the final piece she hugged my neck tightly and said, “We did it mommy!”

Her words are a little reminiscent of my own.

Often I have demanding moments.  I stare at my life and try to make the pieces fit where there are gaps.  I exert great effort trying desperately to fill holes with the wrong pieces.  Prayers are offered, sometimes in the imperative : “Fill this.  Find that piece.  Make this fit here.” All the while my Heavenly Father sits beside me, knowing how my puzzle is supposed to look.  He has each part in His hands, and knows exactly how they should work together.

I’ll admit to you here and now that I am terrible at finding peace, amid my unfinished puzzle. But I have some incredible examples these days, friends and loved ones who are doing much better than I am.

There is a young woman who I admire so much, recently divorced – deserted by her husband.  She has kept her joy in the middle of all the waiting, expecting Him to fit the pieces together.

A dear aunt and uncle – both recently surviving cancer, daily seem to be able to choose HIS peace in the middle of the battle, without understanding it all.

My own mom, walking through back pain, daily choosing to move forward in His strength even though she has spent more than thirty years fulfilling her life’s calling as a nurse.   In my mind it seems unfair, but she doesn’t seem to see it that way.

Each of them have good reason to pitch a fit.  All of them could jump up and down and shout at Him to make sense of it all or try to force His hand by manipulating the situation.  Instead they give testimony to the goodness of God, blessing Him on their journey.   Somehow, in their trial, they find Him as their missing piece and He fits into any spot that needs to be filled.

Oh to fill in the gaps with Him.  That’s what I long to do.

from Isaiah 26: 3&4

³ You will keep him in perfect peace, 
      Whose mind is stayed on You,
      Because he trusts in You. 
       ⁴ Trust in the LORD forever, 
      For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.

Thank you Heavenly Father for holding all of the pieces to my puzzle.  Let me abide in the peace that You are,  knowing that Your ways are perfect and I can trust You.  Keep my mind stayed on you.  amen