Most of my friends know that I like to read about cooking on different websites – like Pioneer Women and Cook’s Illustrated.  But, in an effort towards full disclosure, I must tell you that I am not that good of a cook. Baking, I love.  Cooking?  another story.   Reading a recipe online is only half of the battle, you know.

I’m fairly good in the kitchen at making a few select dishes some of the time.  But really, I’m unsuccessful at new recipes most of the time and so I continue making those same moderately successful menu items over and over again. That’s how my cooking skills have turned out…   And, I wish I could do better.  maybe someday.

At any rate, my hubby and I, a long time ago decided that we would try more often than not to eat at home rather than eat out.  And that is how we roll.  I plan groceries and meals for the week and we stick with it the majority of the time.  However, sometimes life happens and things just don’t work out.  This weekend was one of those times, and I just hadn’t been to the grocery store yet.

Tonight we arrived home from running a few errands and it was time for me to make supper.  As I walked into the kitchen I realized I was in need of a small cooking miracle… almost akin to the story in the Bible of the widow and the jars of oil (from @Kings 4).  I had no idea exactly what we were going to eat, but I did know we would have enough.

Sometimes I dismiss the wonder of His constant care and provision for my family….

Well, in a strange culmination of ideas gleaned from Pinterest, some leftovers and other random ingredients in my fridge, I had a small epiphany and realized there was something I could prepare.  I asked my husband if he was nervous that I was being “creative” in the kitchen.  He just laughed.  Apparently we’ve been down this road before…

Turns out my creation was DELICIOUS.  And I’m not joking. It truly was yummy, but please don’t laugh too much at me when you read the recipe.  Michael and I both loved it and I will probably make something similar again.  (I say similar because I don’t know if I’ll ever have these ingredients all at the same time again.)

Was mine a miraculous meal?  I’ll leave that to a theologian to decide.  But I can promise this: There is a God who provides and He is a miracle working God…  As I’ve re-read the story of 2Kings 4, I’m reminded once again:  He is a God of plenty.

² Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?”

   “Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a small jar of olive oil.”

 ³ Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. ⁴Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”

 ⁵ She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. ⁶ When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.”

   But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing.

**************************************************

I offer you, humbly, without any delusions of culinary grandeur –

Melody’s left-over quesadilla pie.  

Ingredients: 4 tortillas  (trimmed to fit my 9 inch spring form pan), lots of cheese (several ends of chunks, shredded), a half a red pepper, half an onion, a last of some manwich meat and taco meat mixed together,  half cup of black beans, half cup of corn, a left over baked potato.  

Instructions:  Heat the oven to 375 and spray the bottom and sides of a spring form pan.  Trim the tortillas to fit into the spring form pan.  I began by dicing my half onion and half green pepper and the baked potato – and fried them up in a pan with a pat of butter.  Then, I put one tortilla in the bottom of the pan.  I spread the mixture of meat over the tortilla and sprinkle with cheese.  (I used pepper jack).  Next I set another tortilla over the meat.  I combined the corn and black beans and put them over the tortilla.  Sprinkled with more cheese.  (this time I used some colby jack)  After laying another tortilla over the corn and bean mixture, I spread the potato concoction over the tortilla, sprinkled more cheese and the topped with the final tortilla and put just a bit more cheese on the very top.  I baked it for about 20 minutes until it was heated all the way through.  

Seriously, you could do this with just about any of the flavor combinations you enjoy -all sandwiched together in layers of cheese and tortillas.  Oh the possibilities are endless!  Just whip up some of the stuff from your fridge and you can make your own leftover quesadilla pie, too.

***********************************************

Here it is.  This is hands down, without question, THE BEST EVER chocolate chip cookie.  It definitely stands out above all the others I have tried.

This is a family recipe from my mom’s Great Aunt Katie.  Growing up it was the only chocolate chip cookie I ever experienced.  If there were cookies in my mom’s oven, I’m pretty sure these were the ones she was making.

And they are heavenly.  seriously.  I wouldn’t lie about such a serious matter.

Well, because Mondays often turn out to need more than a cup of coffee, I thought I would share this recipe, in case today is one of those Mondays for you.  So, with love, from the bottom of my heart, I give you:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:

2/3 cup shortening, 2/3 cup butter, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup brown sugar, 2 eggs, 2 tsp vanilla, 3 cups flour, 1 tsp soda, 1 tsp salt, 2 cups of chocolate chips.

Instructions:

Heat oven to 375.  Cream shortening, butter, sugars.  Add eggs and vanilla.  Then combine flour, soda and salt in a bowl. combine wet and dry ingredients.   Mix in chocolate chips.  chill dough in refrigerator for an hour.  put heaping tablespoons of dough on cookie sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes.

Go.  Go to your kitchen now and bake.  Your portal to Heaven awaits.

md

Well, its almost a week later, after my first race.  I’ve basked in the glory.  I’ve nursed sore muscles.  I’ve planned for the future and I’ve thought.  a lot.   There were a lot of things that I learned from running my first 5K.  But there is one particular lesson that I am trying to take to heart.

On the morning of the big day, I was feeling good.  I had trained and I was ready.  As the start time approached, I looked around and realized something really important.  A lot of people had a running buddy.  They were there with someone;  a friend to help them keep their pace, to encourage, or to distract…

Personally, I had trained alone.  I enjoy the refreshment that comes with exercising by myself, so running on my own didn’t seem strange.  I tend towards the independent side anyway, so what’s the big deal right?  Surely I could run a little 5K race, a short 30-40 minutes by myself.  No biggie.

After that first mile, I realized how wrong I was.  I had no idea how much I was going to wish there was someone with more experience running at my side.  Or maybe a friend to simply remind me I was strong and I could do it.  But there was no one, and no amount of wishing was going to fix it.  And so, I had to try to pace myself, which I was terrible at in the middle of all the excitement. And I had to encourage myself, which I could barely form a thought after about the first mile…

There was a reason all of those other runners had a partner.  and I was learning why mid-race.

This is not unlike my life as a believer.  And let me just say, that as a follower of Christ, I do realize that I am never alone.  I know that there is Jesus, who by the power and presence of the Holy Spirit never leaves me or forsakes me.  However, I do find myself of “loner” mind-set, trying to make it by myself, when really there’s another way.  There are others running the race, following Christ.  And He says, don’t do the race alone; love one another, encourage one another, pace your steps together and help each other if you fall.

I realized this week, after all of this soul-searching, that I am probably not the only one running alone.  As much as I need encouragement, there is probably someone who needs the same.   I may need to give up a bit of my pride and my “I’ll go it alone” attitude, so that I can run well, and maybe so that someone else can run well too.

I’m training for another race in May, hopefully.  But, in the meantime, I’m hoping to gather some new running buddies – not just for race day, but for life.  It is my prayer that God will guide each footstep and pace my journey. But here is fair warning: If you and I cross paths, I might just ask you to run with me…  I have no intention of going it alone, if I don’t have to.

me and my “sole sisters” just before the race began.

It happened in 36 minutes and 47 seconds.  I learned amazing things in such a short amount of time – from the moment I heard the announcement, “runners, take your mark!” to the second I stepped across the finish line.

And yes, it took me that long to run 3.1 miles.  I’m a novice, you know.

So whether you want to know or not, I am going to share with you what I learned about myself.  I’m finding out that my life as a runner and my life as a believer have a lot in common.  In fact, when I read these, I find they apply to both lives…

* It is easier for me to run a race when I can picture the finish line.

*If it doesn’t require sweat and tears by the time you cross the finish line, it may not have been worth starting at all.

*Running is pain. and sweat.  lots of sweat.

*To run well, I have to capture my thoughts and hold them hostage, or else I will stop running completely.

*My heart is fickle.  The minute I was pressed and felt the struggle, I began to curse the very sun I’d requested to shine.  I was not happy to experience discomfort.

* I am proud – in the best and worst of senses.  the worst:  I would have rather died than walk across the finish line – that’s my haughty -no humility side – often worried about what others think. the best: I would have rather died than not finish – that’s my tenacious – never giving up side -believing the truth that there is victory thru Christ.

*When people are standing on the sidelines cheering me on, I can run farther, harder, longer.

*There is no absolute preparation for doing something you’ve never done before – only doing that very thing that is full of unknowns. And there is nothing that can bridge the gap between my desire to finish well and those unknowns like His grace. So, get on with it – because His grace will be more than enough.

*With God ALL is possible. not just a few. not some. not most.  ALL.

amen and amen.

I promise you, I realize I’m not a beauty queen at the beginning or at the end of a race.

But this.  This photo is what it looks like to finish.    Or maybe this is how it looks to start on a journey.  hmmm …  I guess time will tell.   Between now and that time, I have a bit to share about what happened during those three miles. three far from glorious miles.

But not today.

Today, I stare at this picture and revel in the grace of a God who is helping me run.

And I wonder, what else is He able to accomplish in me, if I let him?

My stage debut was in the first grade.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  My teacher asked for people to raise their hands for the part they wanted…  I did and within moments I was given the lead role just like that.  Yep, I requested to be the star of the first grade play; I was “The Ugly Duckling.”

I couldn’t understand why there wasn’t much competition.

The play was mostly just narration; I didn’t have many lines as the duckling, I just had to act the part.  dejected.  lonely.  unloved.   My favorite part was at the end, when I got to “float” around our first grade classroom like a swan. At age six  I remember thinking  what a strange story it was.

Recently I purchased the book, “The Ugly Duckling”  by Hans Christian Andersen to read with my children.  I couldn’t remember the complete story line all of these thirty years later, but felt sure it had something to do with renewal and that possibly it had a few good thoughts for Easter.  But, as I read it out loud today, I almost choked on some of the words.

This story had become all too real just hours before reading it with my children. I found myself in my very own ugly duckling moment. It came from an email, answering an inquiry.  It was a response saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.  You’re not the one, not this time.”  I was completely crushed, feeling dejected.  lonely. unloved.  ugly.

And I  wondered in my smallest, vulnerable, private thoughts, “When will I get to be the swan? ”  Because, even though I want to believe I’m a swan,  regularly I consider myself awkward, unlikeable, even strange…  more of an ugly duck.

But when I read this question from the story of the Ugly Duckling, I was reminded of the gospel.

“What does it matter where one is born if one is hatched from a swan’s egg?”

The truth of God’s Word pierced my heart with those words.    When I became a Christ follower, I was completely renewed and reborn by the love of the Heavenly Father who gave His Son to die for my sins.   No matter what my situation is,  how others make me feel, or if I’m completely rejected in this earthly life, nothing can change who He has made me to be.  In His eyes, I am His beautiful child, loved and adored.   Even if its hard for me to comprehend, I am His amazing creation.

I am a swan.

Welcome spring…  I feel life bubbling up, spreading out into the dormant places of my heart… There is joy in this humble, grateful heart over the little things.

The tiny things.

Like a fresh blue table cloth, beneath text books, a lap top and school work completed (mostly…)

*********************

keys played loudly at the end of a much needed, peaceful quiet time,

******************

books to snuggle up with like old, dear friends.

*******************

fresh brownies.

***********

adventure for the inquisitive hearts and minds.

********

and this blessed reminder, why I can rejoice in Springtime at all…  because of this cross, this death and resurrection – symbolic here, but forever authentic in the hearts of all who believe!  It makes each day of life worth celebrating!

It’s raining outside this evening.  I love a good thunderstorm in the spring.  For me, sleep comes much easier to the tune of raindrops drumming on the roof.  And I don’t mind a few rumbles and crackles of thunder and lightening.  It all brings a bit of peace.

Tonight as I’m sitting here enjoying the weather, the rain has reminded of a story.  Its a story I’ve been reading with Mackenzie.  At her request we’ve read it several times this week.  And I don’t mind it, really.  Its a Sunday School favorite that everyone knows from childhood: Noah and the Ark.

As I’ve read and re-read and re-read again the story with my baby girl something very specific has come to my attention that I never truly gave much thought to before.  Most folks know that in the story of Genesis 6 we meet Noah, the only man on earth left who loved God.  When God asked him to build this huge boat- the size of football fields – Noah did it according to specific instructions.   Here’s what I ‘ve pondered during our study:  surely, during all of that time while they were preparing for the flood, Noah had to have had questions.  Was he a logistics kind of guy at all?  Didn’t he wonder how it was all going to work out?  I mean, even if the boat was sea worthy, even if all the animals cooperated and got on board, even if it actually started raining…

In every description I’ve ever seen or heard of the ark, it depicts an enormous door.  I think I would have been wondering…. Who is going to shut that huge door behind us?

But, Genesis 7 :16 says this:

Then the LORD closed the door behind them.

Noah obeyed and God finished up the rest.  God did not call on Noah to do a job that He wasn’t prepared to help complete.

Those words have captured my thoughts, while I’m sitting here listening to the rain pitter patter.  Often I hear God calling, asking something in particular of me – and it seems gigantic- even insurmountable. So, instead of getting started in faithful obedience,  I ask Him questions like, “But, who’s going to shut that humongous door?”  Who is going to do the impossible part of that thing that I can’t do?   Who’s going to fill in the blanks when the answers are beyond my own imaginations?

And I want to know the ending before I get started on the beginning.

There are so many lessons to be learned from the story of  Noah and the flood.  But, tonight,  right now, what I needed is this:  Whatever it is God is calling me to do, He has the master plan.  I just have to do my part – I don’t have to know all of the details. There may be parts of the plan that seem absolutely, humanly impossible.  But it doesn’t matter.   He will take care of shutting the door.

and this evening that knowledge brings more peace than the sound of the falling rain.

We took our family to Coolidge Park on Saturday.  It was a perfect day for a walk and a ride on the carousel.  So, Michael stayed on the sidelines with the camera and I helped our three kiddos get on the ride.  Isaac picked a frog, Emily a giraffe and Mackenzie, she just wanted to sit on a bench beside me.

As the carousel lurched into motion, Mackenzie thought she might like to get off and started to hop down off the bench. But it was too late, there was no stopping the ride.  So I put my arm around her and pulled her close on the bench as we began to circle around and around.  Mackenzie repeated quietly to me several times, while patting my leg with her tiny little hand, “It will be alright, Mommy.  It will be done soon.”

There are plenty of times I feel like Emily and Isaac – I’m happy to be on the “horse” I’ve picked out and I’m enjoying the ride.  And there are others when I feel like Mackenzie.  It is all I can do to just look around and make sure someone’s arms are around me and repeat to myself, “It’s okay, this will be over soon.”

And the truth is, it is true.

For carousel kinds of days, Jesus made a beautiful promise in John 14 : 25-28:

²⁵ “These things I have spoken to you while being present with you. ²⁶ But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.²⁸ You have heard Me say to you, ‘I am going away and coming back to you.’ If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said,^[e] ‘I am going to the Father,’ for My Father is greater than I.

There is One who promised:  He will be there.  always.  He won’t ever let go.  And, it won’t be long before we will be with Him forever.  That’s a lot of really good news, packed into a few short verses.

I’m so thankful for a Heavenly Father who puts His arms around me and whispers these promises in my ear when I need them, especially on the days that I just don’t feel like being on the ride.

Just in case you have a little free time this afternoon, and you decide you need a little something sweet, and you can’t decide what to make, I thought I might post the recipe to  “Aunt Betsy’s Rocky Road Squares.”   Because these are exactly what you need for your sweet -tooth’s munchie habit today.  Listen, you can’t go wrong with marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers…

Here’s the recipe in my dear Grandma B’s handwriting (Ann Brubacher, my grandma and Aunt Betsy’s sister…) I just love having this recipe written by hand, it makes it that much more special to me. and yes, I know I unfortunately got a tiny bit of melted butter on the paper; it was an accident.  I’ll type the recipe out in full below in case you can’t quite read the writing.

There is no way that you won’t love these!!!  I promise!

Okay, here’s the recipe for Rocky Road Squares (In case you didn’t know, if you’re Canadian, its a “square.”  If you’re American, its a “bar.”):

Ingredients

6oz chocolate chips, 1/2 cup margarine, 1 egg (preferably at room temp), 1 cup confectioner’s sugar, 2 cups mini marshmallows, graham crackers ( to line the bottom of the pan.

Instructions:

line your 9×9 pan with graham crackers.  melt chocolate chips and margarine in pan over medium heat.  remove from heat and add 1 egg to the chocolate mixture.  ( I usually temper the egg with a bit of the chocolate mixture, then vigorously whisk the egg into the chocolate)  next add the sugar.  wait for mixture to cool for a bit before adding the marshmallows. spread chocolate-marshmallow mixture over the graham crackers.  chill in the refrigerator til  firm, cut and serve.

I recommend enjoying these delightful treats with a tall glass of milk!   You can thank me later.