I realized something tonight, standing here in my kitchen.  The lightbulb went on as I was trying to figure out what I wanted to bake.  The trouble with me, Melody, “The Baker,” is that I don’t like to follow directions.  Not completely.  Not while I’m in the kitchen anyway…

When I’m baking, I look at a recipe I say, “Look at how lovely that would be if I….” and then I think of all the ways I might do it differently.  As creative as this sounds, many times this attitude is problematic.  Many times, I tell you.

But tonight, the odds were in my favor – and I made these rich, decadent blondies.  The recipe I found on the website “mysweetthyme.com” – and so, I decided to use it, but make it my own.  Turns out my instincts were right and I’ve got the photos to prove it!

Well, here’s the recipe, just in case you want to make them.  They are soft and chewy and dense – just the right texture for a blondie – and they are just a bit spicy!  Perfect with a cup of tea on a chilly, icy day, which is our forecast for tomorrow.

Hope you enjoy them, if you try ’em.

Cinnamon White Chocolate Blondies:

Ingredients:
2 2/3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups packed brown sugar
1 cup butter, at room temperature
2 eggs, at room temperature
1 Tablespoon vanilla
1/2 cup cinnamon chips
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
2 Tablespoons white sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 9 x 13 inch baking pan. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside. In a large mixing bowl, beat together the butter, brown sugar, eggs and vanilla until smooth. Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture and beat until well blended. Fold in the chips. Spread the batter evenly in the prepared pan.
In a small bowl, combine the white sugar and cinnamon and spread over the batter. Bake for 25 – 30 minutes or until the surface springs back when gently pressed. Remove from oven and let cool slightly on a wire rack.

Well, its been a while since I gave an update on Michael’s workshop.  Over the holidays there wasn’t much happening.  Before that a lot was happening, but it was the little details that are hard to capture on photo…

But this weekend, we saw some progress on the deck that wraps around the front and side of the building.  When the deck is completed, then we are able to begin the siding.  All in all it is very exciting.  We are one step closer to wrapping up this project and moving into the next one, which is, of course even more exciting.

As we move through the long list of “what’s next” I’m learning a lot.  But mostly I’m learning to be patient, to endure, to persist, to prioritize and maintain focus.  In spite of what is going on in our life as a family, there is always work to do on the building, and we can’t back up now.  Not now.   So we push ahead.  Weekend after weekend we are learning a new level of perseverance.

There are times when the accomplishments are a natural high for us, and there are times when the proverbial “keep on keepin’ on” is really hard.   But isn’t that life?  Isn’t that life as a Believer?  We are called to continue in our calling, pursuing the prize, no matter what that calling is, no matter if it comes naturally, or if it unusual and difficult some days.  Enlisting His strength, we are to move forward in His will.

I’m realizing that until He comes back, there will always be another step.  And by His Holy Spirit, there will always be ample strength and supernatural ability to go on and on and on…

In the middle of our forward moving motion, I give you a few photos of our recent steps from the weekend:

the long deck boards.

Daddy and his helper.

Half of the decking finished by Sunday afternoon.

To some, this Christmas morning photo will mean little, or next to nothing.  I understand. I’m going to explain with few words – maybe the picture will speak for itself.

This is my littlest girl, embracing the gift from her big sister.  And Emily, she’s pleased at her sister’s response to the gift.

Oh that my heart would respond to the gifts God has given to me, so that I might make Him smile!

Heavenly Father, thank you for this most precious gift of Your Son.  Help me to live my life in a grateful posture, embracing your goodness today and every day.

Yesterday I played an offertory at church from the piano.  Nothing new here, right? It was a typical Sunday, with the regular goings- on of the day.  Except that I played my favorite Christmas song.  Something unexpected happened: the atmosphere became thick with His presence as I played my prayer to Him.  You could have heard a pin drop when I finished.   After the service, many complimented me and I was grateful.  However, most of the congregation couldn’t have possibly known: I was playing it for me.

No one knows, until now, how much this song has become my prayer.  It has become “my” song.

Okay, its not my song literally – someone else wrote it about Mary making a request for the Heavenly Father to send His Spirit to “hold her together,”  just after she’s found out she’s going to be the mother of the savior of the world.  I think I’d be praying the same thing if an angel had just appeared to me with such significant news.

No one has ever been given a task that can compete with Mary’s.  At least I can’t think of one.  And yet, every believer is given an assignment in the body of Christ.  At times, birthing new ideas, traveling new paths as His follower can feel monumental.

Yesterday was one of those tremendous days for me.  Not many know about it; most would not consider it a big deal.  But it is to me.  I took a new position, which will begin in January.  If I think about it long enough, as something my flesh needs to accomplish, I loose my breath.

Not long ago when it became apparent that I needed to follow Christ to new territory and do things I’ve not done before, I remembered Mary.  She did not hesitate.  In Scripture it doesn’t say the angel appeared to explain things to her and then she said, “Give me a week or two to think things over.”  No.  She immediately said, in Luke 1:

 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

And then she hopped up and hurried over to Elizabeth’s house, rejoicing and magnifying the Lord!   I wish I could have been so brave.  I had to think and pray a lot this time before I decided to do His bidding.  *sigh*

As Jesus’ birth drew closer, I wonder if she needed grace under the pressure of becoming a new mother to Jesus, God’s Son.  I like to think she was human enough that she needed to pray for the Spirit’s strength and mercy.  My new assignment is tiny by comparison to hers, and yet, I find myself breathing out these very words from one of my favorite Christmas songs, the one I played yesterday

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I’ve done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

This Christmas I find myself on a new road, terribly excited, praising God for His leading.  He’s offering this new journey for me to take with Him, and I’m amazed that He thinks I’m the right one…  So, I find myself asking Him to keep me together, shine His light on my path and make me worthy of this calling.  Only His Spirit can fill me and give enough mercy for me to be a part of this plan.  As I breathe in and out, deeper and longer, He will graciously give everything I need and more.  I know this Christmas wish is one He is prepared to answer, not just for me, but anyone who chooses to follow Him.

Forgive me, but I’ve been a bit absent from the blog this week.  The Christmas season is in full swing, and I’ve been occupied by all the activity.

And I’ve been processing.

After the events in Connecticut at the Sandy Hook Elementary School, I’ve had a hard time thinking or sitting down to write.  Everything I consider seems trite or unimportant.   Usually in the middle of my holiday baking and gift wrapping I find Jesus speaking to me, but I haven’t been able to hear Him…  its felt like my ears are clogged.  Only one thing has played again and again, faintly in the background of my mind; and it isn’t very Christmas-y, but I’m going to tell you about it anyway.

On Sunday evening Michael and I went to an extraordinary concert.  We saw Andrew Peterson and friends present, “Behold the Lamb of God,” an advent celebration. For the first half of the concert he and his friends performed all kinds of excellent and inspiring music, which Michael and I enjoyed.  And then there was intermission.  When they came back to begin the advent portion of the concert, AP did something unexpected.  He led the audience in a hymn.

It is Well with My Soul.

I could barely breathe out the words in song.  My soul had not felt well – my heart was sore and my mind bruised. Helpless, I could only ask,  “Lord, is it really well?”   But as the body of Christ sang full-voiced and strong around me, I began to hear Him…

I could hear His response, the only answer to all of this world’s chaos.

The world is not well.  It won’t be, not until Jesus comes back to restore and redeem all that has gone wrong on this earth.  But He has made a myriad of promises in His Word that I can count on.  He is faithful to fulfill every one of them, and I can be confident in Him. This knowledge is the only remedy I know that brings peace of heart and mind.

And isn’t that what this Christmas Season is all about? Remembering a God who humbled himself and came to offer our full salvation, bringing peace that only He could afford?

Which makes It is Well with My Soul my new favorite un-Christmas carol.  I leave you with these words as a blessing, that you will have a most peaceful  Christmas season.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.  

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

 

At 2:30 AM on Sunday morning, the moment I heard it, I knew I was in trouble.  An out of my control, kind of trouble.  I heard the sounds of a sick little boy in the bathroom.

oh no.

I rushed in to help him, because that’s what Mama’s do.  Shortly after I was sharing his distress in a very real way. You know what I mean, right?  I’m not going to give detailed descriptions here.

oh no.  oh no. oh no.

I laid on the couch waiting to help him again.  waiting for another round.  waiting to feel better.  The hours were not kind and the waiting was long.  really long.   The clock slowed down to a standstill and I had plenty of time to torture myself.

Sunday was a special day on the calendar.  The 9th of December was marked for Christmas programs at two different churches, one was first thing in the morning and one was in the evening.  I had been looking forward to it for a long time.  After all it is one of my favorite things to do.  I relish playing for Christmas concerts of just about any shape or size.

And now…  I was going to be ill while playing…  there was no calling in, no one to fill in for me, I’d have to play sick or not.   sleep or not.

At 9:30 AM, I left my house looking like death-warmed-over, my sweet Isaac in his daddy’s capable hands, and went to play the first Christmas concert.  I prayed the entire way there, and I worshiped the only One who could bring healing to my unsettled system.  I sipped warm tea and grew thankful.  Thankful that I knew where my strength would come from…

And it hit me.

Saturday night I went to bed believing I could manage the Christmas programs on my own.  I had been preparing to offer a narcissistic offering of praise, with “me” laced all the way thru it.  Isn’t that nice?  Rejoicing in Jesus from the piano, but believing I didn’t need Him. not one bit…

Well, I woke up Sunday morning, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that I needed every ounce of strength offered from this very Savior who’s birth I was preparing to celebrate.  And in that moment of realization I was at peace, but invigorated all at the same time.   He’s so good to remind me, every time I get carried away with my own self-ambition.    And one more time, I was moved from a posture of confidence, to a place of neediness.   Truly,  it is Christ in me, the only hope of glory …

Can I say without boasting that it was glorious?  The whole day, though I was exhausted and completely spent at the end, He was glorified.  We raised our hearts and voices, proclaiming the birth of the Savior-all to celebrate Him.  and it was magnificent.

Heavenly Father,  Thank you for the precious gift of your Son.  In these unexpected moments, thank you for reminding me that I need You more than I know – and for walking through them with me, giving me the very strength I thought I didn’t need.  You have been gracious one more time…  and I am grateful to know You will continue.  I love you.  amen.

Happy Thanksgiving, from our family to yours!

(My apologies.   I forgot to click the “publish” button yesterday.  But, its never too late to give thanks, even if the Christmas carol have begun playing.  right?)

It was in the fourth grade, sitting on the gym floor of Northridge Elementary School in London, Ontario that I heard it for the first time.  Every week the entire school participated in an assembly.  It was  sweaty and smelly and hot. Its certainly not the first place I think of when I meditate on God’s goodness.

But, as a little “american” girl, who had just moved to a new house and started attending a new school, with new classmates and a different routine,  I remember singing the hymn as clearly as if it happened yesterday.  For me, in those moments where everything felt foreign and a bit uncomfortable, I could still turn my heart towards Heaven and think about the good things.  And there were a lot of those good things to think about.  It was my first experience in learning to give thanks, in all things.

My life is so different from those times in London, and yet it is still the same. When difficulties arrive at my doorstep, when changes intrude on my comfortable spaces, He is the very one who heaped blessings on me then and He continues to now.   Whether counting my physical or spiritual blessings, there is no doubting that I am a rich woman.   And still, in this blessed season of life, I’m learning to give thanks.

With the beautiful thoughts below, I wish you the happiest of Thanksgivings…

For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies;
For the love which from our birth,
Over and around us lies;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the wonder of each hour,
Of the day and of the night;
Hill and vale and tree and flow'r,
Sun and moon, and stars of light;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind's delight;
For the mystic harmony,
Linking sense to sound and sight;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child;
Friends on Earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thyself, best Gift Divine,
To the world so freely given,
For that great, great love of Thine,
Peace on earth and joy in heaven.
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours!

(My sweet and spunky baby, almost big girl, Mackenzie…)

It occurs to me, briefly, while sitting on the floor of the bathroom, that I don’t have time for this.  Seriously. Yesterday was the day, and who am I to question?

Monday morning, when the mandate became clear, I began a new and yet familiar adventure.  It was time to set out and take the first steps.  Mackenzie was ready.  She told me so.  She wanted to wear her my little pony underpants and use the potty.

Really?  Now?

Something I’ve been waiting for, for so long, and praying for, is finally upon us.  And Yes, I’ve been praying for her to want to go potty on her little Cinderella potty chair.   I began to pray in earnest last week after a particular conversation with my sweet girl where (after asking if she’d like to go potty) she told me on no uncertain terms, “I will blow my nose, and I will make a wish, but I will NOT use the potty. ”  and just for special effect she yelled, “NEVAH!” and ran away.

And I was left sitting in the middle of dashed hopes and dreams.  Dreams of no more weekly pullups or wipes to purchase.  hopes of no more over-washed and dried out hands, no more diaper genie…  the list goes on…

So, why now?  In the middle of a busy, no crazy, week when I am spread just a bit too thin- I get to start potty training.  Let’s just move this week right into the “insanity” column.

And, that’s what I asked Him last night while laying in bed.  When my mind wouldn’t slow enough to go to sleep, I decided to give him the “what for….”

“Why?  Why would you give me what I’ve been praying for, at such a terrible time?  It’s the wrong time, you know.  Its all wrong.”  (I figured, I’d just get it all out there in the open.)

and He said,

“I’m always on time.  This is exactly the right time.  This is a gift I’m giving you – and it is at just the best moment.”   He wasn’t going to hold back either.  “Don’t you know that I love you?  I want you to do this potty-training thing in my strength. – If it was a breeze, at the best time in your limited, human opinion, wouldn’t you be doing it on your own?  without me?  You may not know it, but you NEED me to do this.  This is the perfect time.”

Well.  I had nothing left to say.

So often, I expect that His gifts (and their timing), are going to be  exactly what I want, and when I want them.   But that’s not what He promises.  He promises his best, in spite of our earthly and finite requests.

And I’m reminded of His words in James 1, you know the part where He talks about trials and gifts…

16Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. ¹⁷ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. ¹⁸ Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures.

All of it is from His hand, for my good, at the best time, preparing me to be one of His “first fruits.”  I suppose that means being tested, even with potty training, to learn to do every thing in His strength.    This time I’m learning that He is an On-time God.  And that, through this short trial, is a beautiful gift.

I am about to do something unprecedented.  I have never, in the life of my 2 year old blog, said anything remotely political.  At least, not intentionally anyway.  But, with the presidential election just four days away, the tension is mounting.  I feel like I need to say something….

I’m not going to tell you who to vote for.  I’m not going to tell you who I’m voting for.  No advice for you from this girl.

This is what I need to say.  These are the times when I can get really good and worked up.  Sometimes worry and fret are my constant companions.  The “what ifs” are incredibly demanding of my thought processes and it just about puts me under.

BUT!

This morning I’ve been reminded of what God tells us to do – I feel sure everyone else is probably much better than I am at remembering these words…

Be Still.

He tells us in His word to “Be still and know that I AM God.”

My heart is quieted knowing that, in the end, my Heavenly Father, the Creator of the Universe is now and always will be in control.  No matter who wins this presidential election, or any other election, He will not abdicate His throne.

Inside this knowledge there is nothing to do but rest.

============================================

Thoughts to consider…

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still, O restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of peace
Let the noise and clamor cease
Be still
 
Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that he has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change

Be still

 
Be still and know that he is God
Be still and know he is our Father
Come rest your head upon his breast
Listen to the rhythm of his unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to come

Be still

On Sunday, my children and I (along with a few cousins, aunts and uncles) went to see His fingerprints. We hiked down to a place where it seems like God, the Creator of the Universe,  used his fingertips to make a small crevice down into the earth known as Rainbow Lake, right here on Signal Mountain.  Its a peaceful hideaway where His creativity is evident.

There is no question.  With eyes wide open to the world around, there is no denying The Creator-Genius or His goodness and mercy.  His touch is the mark of a master plan that can’t be questioned.  And I am in awe.

O Lord, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens!

This is my Father’s world, and to my listening ears  All nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres. This is my Father’s world: I rest me in the thought  Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;  His hand the wonders wrought.

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,  The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,  What is man that You are mindful of him,  And the son of man that You visit him?

This is my Father’s world, the birds their carols raise,  The morning light, the lily white, declare their Maker’s praise.  This is my Father’s world: He shines in all that’s fair;  In the rustling grass I hear Him pass;  He speaks to me everywhere.

O Lord, our Lord,  How excellent is Your name in all the earth!