Category: home schooling

thoughts on the process of educating my little angels

friends and loved ones · home schooling

the click of the metronome…

melodyanndayLeave a comment

DSC_0190

“I can’t remember” she said.  “It has been all week,” she said.  “I can’t do it,” she said..   From the piano in the next room over, her list of reasons for defeat,  wafted into the kitchen,   and made me cringe…

Just as I opened my mouth to offer the same, well-worn suggestions, I’ve offered many times before, she did what she could…  I heard it.  The metronome began to faithfully click.   That’s my girl.  Deep down she knows what is true.

I smiled.

As sure as if the metronome was clicking, “You- can- do- this. You- can- do- this.”  Her fingers sailed through the piece from memory without a hitch.

It is a proven fact that rehearsing with the solid, unwavering, beating of the metronome has a lot to do with a pianist’s ability to play a piece unhesitatingly, from memory.  That tick-tock-tick-tock reminder steadies the fingers, and relieves the mind of anxiety…

DSC_0201

Over the past week, I’ve had my own struggle to play my heart’s song at times .     Sure of defeat, a little tired and worn from my circumstances,  I was left feeling anxious and fearful.   But, it seems that the Holy Spirit was prepared, without fail, to remind me of what I was taught long ago.  As His Words came to mind, peace followed.   In a sure, constant fashion, I could hear the beat of Scripture in my ears.  “Do not fear for I am with you. Do not fear for I am with you. ”  With His truth as my security, my heart and mind sailed thru the rough passages.

His Words of love and assurance are as sure as the steady beat of His heart ; and it is this knowledge that relieves fear and comforts my heart – His love for me, by His Spirit, dwelling in me.

Today I am thankful for these words from Ephesians 3 – as He strengthens my faith, and teaches me more and more of His extravagant love for me…

16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what isthe width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

friends and loved ones · home schooling

backing out

melodyannday1 Comment

There we sat chatting, my friend and I, in my living room, enjoying our visit.  Never noticing…

I take that back. I noticed a sign, something smelled burnt, like a candle had been blown out.  But, that’s not unusual at my house.

And then there was my baby girl daughter who came over to me to say the table cloth was sticky… Again, very usual, with spilled juice and jelly sliding off of toast commonly adorning our table… But it wasn’t until I stood up and turned to look towards the table in the dining room that I understood.

My daughter had caught her coloring paper on fire in a tea light candle, (the reason for the burnt smell) and it had melted a hole in the table cloth (hence her “sticky” description of the table)

Be assured that by this time the fire was already out, and the table was easily cleaned up. It wasn’t a terrible mess.  There was no call to 911 or anything. Baby girl wasn’t remotely singed, or even concerned really.

begin mental rehearsal here:  I am a good mother.  I am a good mother.  I am a good mother… etc.  etc.

The fact is, no matter what I do or how much I love my family, and regardless of the perfect moments, there are days when I’d like to back out.  After this day in particular, I had to ask, “Lord, really?  Are you sure this is what You called me to do? Because, I’m not good at it. ”  On days like today I question the wisdom of a God who would call me to do this work, when clearly, I’m absolutely not capable.

But there is true beauty in His merciful and loving answers and such with such grace He ministers those answers to me, all the while I’ve shifted into reverse.

In my outright fear of failure, fear of mistakes, fear of missing the correct choices – He spoke to me so clearly from a children’s book I’ve been reading with my little people.  The words rang out like a bell from my very own voice, and they’ve been resonating thru my mind and following me throughout my home ever since.

May I share this brief passage with you?  It is from a simple advent book called, “Jotham’s Journey.”  At this point in the story Jotham is a ten year old boy, alone, hurt, and scared out of his mind… when a special rescuer comes to his aid.

* * * * *

“There, there, little one.  Be at peace,” the stranger said softly (to Jotham). Seeing the smile on the man’s face, Jotham calmed a little and stopped struggling.  There was a bright glow around the man’s head, and his face beamed with kindness.  “I heard you calling the name of Jehovah,” he said gently.  “And so I came.”

Sometimes the fears we have are imagined, and sometimes they are real.  Sometimes we are caught in situations over which we have no control, and sometimes we cause those situations ourselves.  But God’s word to Israel and to us is always the same: “Do not fear; I will help you.”

* * * * * *

always the same.  I will help you. 

Once again, He has taken the time to remind me, it is okay to keep moving forward in this work He’s called me to.  God, My Heavenly Father is here to help when I call. I don’t need to fear because He is a good father.  In fact, He has made the only way to find help, thru Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  Otherwise, it is impossible for me to be a good mother on my own.  Really, I can apply these thoughts not just to motherhood, but to every piece of my life.  He is present.  He will help.   No backing out, just relying on Him and the promise of His provision for the journey.

friends and loved ones · home schooling

from day 1

melodyanndayLeave a comment

DSC_0309Emily, my 6th grader!  I can hardly believe it…

DSC_0308

Isaac, my second grader, and a very happy 2nd grader at that!

DSC_0316

My Mackenzie, sweet girl, was a bit nervous – so, we took pink bear with us.  

Today was the first day of our 2013-14 school year.  It was also our first day of Classical Conversations, our one day of the week that we do school work with a community of like-minded families.

At the end of the school day, on the way home, everyone was quite satisfied with their teachers, their performance and the coming assignments.  And I – I breathed a long sigh of relief.

If you could have peeked in our living room window, later this afternoon, you would have found Emily and I at the piano.  We’ve been working on the last page of Fur Elise and Emily has made significant progress over the last week.  I’m really proud of her at the little pianist she’s becoming.

When she finished, I played for a moment.  And let me say: this never happens, mostly because I don’t make the time.  It seems that someone, somewhere, at almost every given moment at our house needs me.  At any rate, there we were, like two peas in a pod, snuggled together on my piano bench.  And I played a song that has been ringing in my ears all week.  I sang the words, and Emily listened intently.

Do you know it?

Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am and have and ever hope to be.
All of my ambitions hopes and plans, I surrender these into Your hands.
For it’s only in Your will that I am free.
Jesus, all for Jesus, all I am and have and ever hope to be.

I don’t think there could have been a better song for us to sing together today.  What a perfect ending to our first day of school.  just perfect.

Heavenly Father,
All of our plans, our hopes, our dreams – we surrender them all to you.  Our school year is Yours. amen.

friends and loved ones · home schooling

the eventual materialization of year #7…

melodyannday1 Comment

I said we would squeeze the last drops of summer into a glass and sip on it as long as we could… and that’s what we’ve been doing.  There is a strong affection in my heart for summertime, which makes it hard for me to acknowledge school work much before Labor Day.  And  even though most folks have been celebrating all of their back to school traditions, we have been making trips to the pool, staying up late and avoiding eye contact with our new curriculum as much as absolutely possible.

But alas…

The school year starts soon here in our household.  I enjoy home schooling my children and I’m grateful that I get to do it.  However, with my tiptoes at the threshold of beginning another year, #7 in fact, I’m sure of one thing. and one thing only.

Do you want to know the truth?  (And I hear the words resonate in my ears from a familiar movie, “You can’t handle the truth!!!”)  but seriously, do you?

Over the summer, as per my usual, I’ve been evaluating life.  I’ve taken account of how things run around here; school, church, home, health, music lessons, grocery shopping, art classes, archery, you name it, I’ve put it on a list somewhere in an effort to consider all the different categories that make up “us.”

And this is what I’ve realized:

I don’t know if I’m doing any of it right.  More than ever, I have more questions than answers.    Is this the right curriculum for Isaac’s learning style?  Should we be eating this food, or that?  Am I terrible mom because not one of my kids eats enough fruits and veggies?  What about this class for Emily?  How can I be sure of proper development without this activity for Mackenzie?  The questions pile up and the choices are overwhelming.  I feel like throwing my hands up in the air and saying, “I don’t know!  Somebody help me!”

I’m reminded in Scripture that, I don’t have to know it all.  In fact, He didn’t intend for me to know it all for the very purpose that I would need to rely on Him.  Because He does know all of the answers.  all of them.    The only thing that I do know for sure is this: everything done in my home, is best when I do it abiding in Him.

The beauty of being on the doorstep of year #7 is, I’m more prepared to admit my complete need of Him.  With my start date on the calendar a little more than a week a way, I’m aware that I’m not capable on my own and it is a very freeing feeling indeed.

My heart’s desire is that here, in our homeschool, we become His disciples, growing in the knowledge of Him and His wisdom. I can’t help but apply these verses from John 15 to my heart and mind:

5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw theminto the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

Heavenly Father,   It is my prayer that You will be glorified in our lives this year.  Will you come and be with us each day?  Will you help us to abide in You, so that all of the gaps are filled and everything that is inadequate is made complete?   This is my heart’s desire for our school year.    amen.

friends and loved ones · home schooling · who knows?

my motherhood survival kit

melodyanndayLeave a comment

DSC_0365Its not that I don’t love being a mother.  I do.  I really do. Not only is it my main occupation, its my calling, my passion.  And I have the three most wonderfully unique and amazing children, given to me and Michael as a part of an exquisite, and beautiful plan orchestrated by the Heavenly Father Himself.

But, that’s how I feel today.  Let me tell you about yesterday.

Ah yesterday.  That’s right.  Yesterday felt like a disaster: a disaster that was marked with hurt feelings, emotional turbulence, in a swirling sea of sinfulness.  Yesterday I questioned my survival as a mother.

My children are humans just like I am and there are days that I cannot figure out how in this world things are going to turn out okay.  No matter how much I do to help them, there are  times where I’m convinced His plan is a big mistake.

At the end of these kind of days, when I find myself at the very end of my rope, and by the end, I do mean the very last, teensy, tiny, frayed strand – that’s when I remember there’s help.  When its almost too late, that’s when I think to ask for a little extra rope…

That’s just how I roll.

At any rate, I asked Him last night, because there are times when all of the best advice books don’t give the right answer.  And this was my question:

“What do I do?  Is there a solution?  Because I’ve got nothin’!  How do I know what’s the best thing to do for these children you’ve given me? ”

and do you know what He told me?

“Tell them I love them.”

that was it.

At first, I really thought, “That doesn’t make any sense.  How is that gonna help my children obey, or treat their siblings right, or do their best in their school work, or survive in the real world or…”

But He interrupted me and said it again, “Tell them I love them.” – and He added, “Remember how much I love you?  You need to tell them too…”

It took a minute or two for me to really hear Him, I’m terribly hard-headed after all.  But when I finally did, I realized this:  All of what is real and true in this life is about His love for us.  And all true success in this life begins and ends with being immersed in His love.  This is one case where I can say “all” and be okay with being completely exclusionary.

His love is capable of changing anything. everything.  The sinful heart, the wicked mind, the crooked path, the ill-fated situation – It all is made right in the full, bright light of His love.

Then, I had this “aha” kind of moment where I realized the only way I was going to be a good mother and survive this thing called parenthood was to realize my need of Him and His Love once again.

And my motherhood survival kit was “born.”  Scriptures I’ve known, fell onto the soft places of my heart – and I have set them apart to rely on at a moment’s notice.    Its a few Scriptures and the words to one song, rehearsing my need of Him and how much He loves me.

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,  and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

Psalm 42:8

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Deuteronomy 6:5

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.

Psalm 86:5

But this I call to mind,  and therefore I have hope:The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;  his mercies never come to an end;   they are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

That according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spiritin your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  may have strength tocomprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19

And the song, I Need Thee Every Hour… There is a beautiful (sort of) new version of this old hymn that is exquisite, and quietly humble. (You can check it out on the indelible grace website)  Today as I heard it again, for the first time in a long time, I was reminded:  Oh Lord!  How I need You!

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
O I need Thee every hour;
I need you Lord, O bless me now,
My Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain
I need Thee every hour, teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son

home schooling

homeschooler’s envy

melodyannday2 Comments

Last night, at about 9:15, I found myself browsing Pinterest for a bit.  All of my little people were in bed, and Michael and I were unwinding at the end of a full day.  And there I was, looking through everyone’s desires and ideas and handicrafts and menus… Mostly harmless – I was searching for a particular idea of how to do something.  But, the outcome:  I came across a blog of someone’s newly updated home school space.

If you know me well, or even a tiny bit, you probably know that my little family lives in a quaint (and by quaint I probably mean small) split-level home. We do not have a separate bedroom for each child, there aren’t walk-in closets or even a large pantry in the kitchen.  Many newer homes have these types of amenities, but we do not.  And that’s okay, for the most part.  I get along just fine, except sometimes, when it comes to homeschooling.

I would love to have a dedicated room for home schooling where everything could be gathered together; books would be easily located, supplies at our fingertips, a lock on the door to keep my students and their rowdiness contained when necessary.  I’m just kidding about that last one.  (sort of)  It is a luxury of space that we cannot accommodate.  So, we make do.  A dedicated book shelf here.  A small cabinet there, seat work done at the table and read-a-louds on the couch.  For the most part it works out quite fine – and I know it.

Until I read a blog about someone’s newly remodeled home school space… with beautiful cabinetry and shelves and drawers and desks – maps up on the walls and scripture verses on blackboards and everything my creative heart dreams of.  Then I forget that our set up is successful.

Last night, my heart went there.  Before I knew it, I was a bright shade of green – wishing for someone else’s finery, disdaining my own blessings.  I could barely help it.  I was jealous.   Why can’t I have all of these things?  I NEED them…  can’t you hear the whine in my voice?

And in a flash, His words spoke to my heart:  These material things, the furniture, the stuff, it is not nearly as important as your children’s souls.  You do not need any of it to show them what is my desire for them:  to be like Me.  Everything you truly need to grow your children in my likeness you already have.  It is found in me.  When you help them pursue me, your homeschooling will be successful.  All of those other pins on pinterest, are just vanity.  Don’t let your flesh distract you from the important task at hand.

from Romans 13:

11 And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. 12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

from John 15:

4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.  5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Its a good reminder for me this morning….Stay focused on what is important.  I can’t allow my heart to wander off to these unhealthy places of jealousy.  (please understand me here:  Pinterest itself is not evil…my heart is dark and sometimes I struggle to keep Pinterest in the right place)  I need to “put on the armor of light” – and “abide in Him” –  And when I do, this journey we are on called home schooling will be a blessing to my children and it will be more successful than I can plan or imagine!

home schooling

handwriting and other homeschooling nightmares

melodyannday2 Comments

I think its an understatement to say that I have been learning a lot while endeavoring to teach my children at home this year.  Its amazing how the Lord has been a part of every detail, intervening with creative ideas and solutions, with understanding.  I have been truly blessed to see His hand moving on behalf of my children.

Even with this knowledge, there is one subject I have been dreading. Instead of times of prayer and relinquishing control over it (like most godly mothers would do) I’ve been living in fear.  I stay awake at night thinking about it, feeling completely  inadequate :  It’s handwriting for Isaac.  I’ve had terrible dreams where I wake up in a cold sweat, thinking Isaac is about to start high school, completely unable to write the alphabet because I didn’t teach him how to hold his writing utensil properly.

I can tell you why I’m nervous.  Its my first experience teaching the beginning stages of handwriting.  Emily was in preschool at this point, and learned how to hold her pencil from her teacher.  (as I say this out loud, I know it sounds silly,  really, I do…)  I just seem to have limited ideas on how to get the process started.

Well, Its November and here we are. I’ve chosen the procrastination route.  Isaac has not done any handwriting yet.  And its not that I don’t have the materials, I do.  But instead, we’ve painted, we’ve colored, we know our letters- we’ve even made them out of play doh.  There has not been a pencil within a 2 foot radius of his learning space.

Interestingly enough, Isaac brought his paper home from Sunday School this past weekend.  It was a coloring sheet with minimal coloring on the front.  Instead on the back were lots of letters that he was trying to write.  And he said to me, “Mommy, I need to write letters.  I want to write my name.”

Could our learning time for Monday morning have a more clear mandate? no.

So, Monday morning arrived and I pulled out the Write ‘n Wipe tracing cards with the special marker.  Isaac sat for probably 30 minutes, tracing carefully – which is a long time in a four and half yr old boy’s world.  Tuesday morning, the same, except he said to me, “Mommy its time to write my name.”  We went over the letters in his name.  And he did it.  Just like that.  His face was shining with excitement.  I couldn’t have been more proud of him.  And I had almost nothing to do with it.

Sitting here on my bed this morning, I’m reminded of a Scripture,

Luke 3:4-6

‘Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.
Every valley shall be filled in,
every mountain and hill made low.
The crooked roads shall become straight,
the rough ways smooth.
And all people will see God’s salvation.’

As I make way for the King of Glory in our home, He makes the crooked paths straight.  The valleys aren’t so deep and impossible.  The mountains aren’t so high and impassable.  I don’t need to hold on to my fears, no matter how difficult the subject.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for miraculously working through my weaknesses.  May I never forget the care and love you have shown to us during the learning process this year, so far.  Thank you for my three precious children and the gift of teaching them at home.

amen.

(originally written in November of 2010)

a bit of history · friends and loved ones · home schooling

a toccatina life

melodyanndayLeave a comment

My history is riddled with piano performances and recital pieces that were played by the seat of my pants.  No, really its true. As a child  I loved to be at the piano.  I played and played and played.  I’m sure my family would vouch for me on that count.  But, that was just what it was.  playing.

I loved to play, but I did not always choose to practice the way I was instructed.  My teachers would tell me, “Practice this portion slowly, and repetitively and you’ll get it.  Your performance will be stellar, if you do what I suggest.”  That’s what they would say, or something similar.   But, my ears couldn’t hear most of the time.  I loved to play, but I had a ‘wild hare’ about me.  I liked to play fast.

And so, I played pieces, often, just on the edge of disaster.  almost under control.  almost.

By the time I finished my senior recital in college, I had sort of learned the principle.  And, even then one of my pieces could have been better, if I had put into practice what my instructors had been telling me my whole life.

My daughter is now the one on the bench, having piano lessons with a wonderful teacher, and getting unsolicited advice from me on the side.  She’s preparing for a piano competition this coming Saturday.  And there’s one piece, Toccatina, that requires a very quick pace.  Oh how she loves to fly over the keys.  But, there are hitches. When I mention practicing slowly, she plays even faster.

Now, I’ve been there and I know what her outcome might be.  I wish she would practice more carefully.  But, she can’t hear me.  Regrettably, she is taking after her mama.

Turns out the piano bench, wasn’t the only part of life where I was living fast-paced, ignoring instruction.  Often I find myself in situations, charging down paths unknown, earplugs inserted, rather than hearing. If only I wasn’t so hard headed, and in such a hurry to do things my way, then it wouldn’t be so difficult!  Even today, I’m making a u-turn, realizing maybe I should have listened…  Oh, Lord, please help me!

There is a softer, kinder cure for inexperience : It is listening to wisdom.

Here is what Proverbs 2:1-9 says.  Words that are true for ALL of life:

My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
4 If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,
And find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
8 He guards the paths of justice,
And preserves the way of His saints.
9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path.

This is such good news for my heart.  All wisdom, for every part of life, comes from God and He gives willingly, even liberally! Sometimes it comes from the mouths of people who have already heard His voice, and have helpful knowledge to offer.  Sometimes it is prophetic, straight from His word.    But, I have to seek it and acknowledge it with my whole heart and put it into action.   Then maybe my daughter would have a good example to follow…  for practicing the Toccatina and for living her life.

Heavenly Father, Help me to change.  I want to follow after you and your wisdom. Remove whatever is keeping me from hearing You and your instruction.  Let me apply your words to my heart first and let that bring new actions.  amen.

a bit of history · home schooling

And the answer is…

melodyanndayLeave a comment

Maxwell Crescent.  That’s the name of the street where I spent a portion of my childhood – in London, Ontario. Growing up in Canada introduced me to a new culture full of different foods, friends and terminology.  There is one particular memory that sticks with me, even today.

I had made a new friend who lived down the street, named Carla.  Now Carla, as far as I know, was a full blooded Canadian – born and raised in London.  We were quick friends, walking to school together, playing around the neighborhood, riding bikes, ice skating in her backyard. (Yes, for you southerners, I said ice skating)  We were around each other a lot during those elementary years.  One of the first days we walked home from school, that first fall, I’ll never forget something she said.  Her house was just a few doors down on the opposite side of the street.  But as I stopped at my driveway and she kept walking, she shouted over her shoulder, “Call on me later so we can play!”  And with that, she disappeared around the bend in the road, into her house.

“Call on me…”  I mulled it over in my mind.  At nine years old I wasn’t sure what to do.  This was back in the day when I wasn’t allowed to pick up the phone just whenever I wanted… was I supposed to call her on the phone?  I was baffled.  I went inside and asked my mom.  My mom, who was also born and bred as a Canadian, explained that Carla wanted me to go over to her house and knock on the door.  She wanted me to come and get her so we could play together.  “Call” had nothing to do with dialing numbers on a phone.

It is a word that rings true today, in fact. (no pun intended)  You may know that my husband and I choose to home school our children.  If you were to peek at my calendar, you would see that our start date for school this year is on this coming Monday.  only two days away.  two short days.  I am prepared.  The books have been purchased, school supplies organized, lesson plans written.  In a lot of ways I am ready.

But today I began to doubt.  You see, there are a lot of things I can’t plan.  This is very upsetting to someone like me who is a planner by nature.  And as all of those “unplan-able” types of things began to mount up in my mind, my heart began to race.  What will Mackenzie do while I’m helping Isaac with his coloring?  How will I find time for Emily to practice piano if Mackenzie is napping?  Will I be able to get all of Emily’s school work done and still interact with Isaac on his activities?  And the questions piled up, right here in the room with me in tangible heaps of worry, messing up my previously neatly organized school nook.

It was when I put my hands over my face, in order to avoid making eye contact with the piles, that I heard Him say, “Call to me…”  Now, you may not know this, but I have been praying.  a lot.  I have covered every inch of my school nook, including the book case and the table and chairs and the text books in prayer.  But He said it again, persisting… “No, Call to me…”

And it dawned on me, He meant “call” just like Carla had said it.  Come over.  Let’s spend time in each other’s presence.  When these questions come up – He’s got the answer.  He didn’t mean, float some giant, nebulous prayer out into the cosmos. He doesn’t want me to leave a message on His answering machine so He can get back to me later.  No, He wants person to person contact.

Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

And with that, my load of anxiety over all of these unanswerable, unforeseen questions evaporated into thin air.  I don’t have to know the answers.  I just have to spend time with The One who does…

amen.  thank you Lord.

md

(written August 13, 2010)

home schooling

how to get out of bed…

melodyanndayLeave a comment

I’m sitting on my bed in my pj’s.  Heavens, there are a lot of possibilities for the day.  People to see, places to go, things to do.  So, what am I doing?  I’m snuggled up under the covers.  Not moving. Usually I take the bull by the horns.  I look at what is on the calendar, itemize my to-do list in order of importance and we’re on our way.  That’s how I do things.  Simple, really.  But not today. I’m still in my bed.

I’m frozen in place.

Today a friend is coming to my house to talk about home schooling with me.  I’m looking forward to it; she’s a veteran – and I still consider myself a newbee.  I’m trying to process all of the things we’ll be talking about, but I can’t.  My brain is stuck.

I’m suspended in mid-air, with no apparent way back to my reality.  Everything seems to be just out of my reach…

Even with my head completely submerged beneath my duvet, I’m reminded of something by a familiar voice (where can I go that He doesn’t find me?) : All motion, all thoughts need to come from God.  So often its easy to create my own lists, my own activities, while requesting blessing on my plans.

Today is a perfect example of how I should be:  pleading for mercy.  waiting on Him.  listening and alert for His guidance.

When I feel fluid and completely able, that’s a bad sign.  It means I am too self reliant.  Thankfully, on today, a day when I need to think clearly and make some thoughtful decisions about Emily and Isaac’s education, He has made sure I won’t mess it up.  My Heavenly Father seems to have disabled me, just enough to render me helpless.

from Psalm 86:

5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.
7 When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.

8 Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;  no deeds can compare with yours.

9 All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord; they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.

11 Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.

Here I am, Heavenly Father.  I’m begging for your thoughts, your wisdom, your words, your life;  will you give me a heart undivided, fully focused on You.  That is what I need to be able to get out from under the covers this morning.  Thank you for the great love that you continue to show towards me – for delivering me from myself.  amen.

And now, I’d better hop out of bed – I’ve got lots of things He’s planning for me to do today.

md

written originally on march 28, 2011.