I have a few new beauties on my back porch this summer.  Hot pink geraniums, in a large planter.  Whenever I see them, I smile.  Partly because my husband brought them home for me from the nursery, these bold flowers of pink, when I had asked for something red.  He’s color blind, but thought they were just right – and he was correct.  Turns out they are perfect.

Today I went out to water them, lingering a few moments to “dead head” the old and dying flowers, preparing for the new blooms to pop out.  The blooms were shut tight, heads hanging down.  But, slivers of pink show at the tips, betraying the truth that maybe, just maybe we’ll have new flowers show casing God’s handiwork any day now.

How I love the beauty of God’s creation!

These geraniums reminded me of His truth today.  Just as the flowers have to wait patiently for me to water and care for them – I too need to wait.  My life is full of gifts from the heavenly father, waiting to bloom – but they are only buds, sealed up – and I must wait for Him to tend my heart.  I must rely on Him to draw out the gifts of His spirit in me, in His time, and His way.  Every opportunity, every possibility – a part of His providence – is a gift that allows me to bloom fully and more beautifully than I ever could by my own design.

I want to tell you that I do the growing – and that it lasts forever.  That would be nice, wouldn’t it?  My geraniums, they flower a bit, and then they die – and then more buds pop out, they open and flower, and then they die again.  It is a continuous cycle.  The same thing happens to me:  I learn.  I grow.  I forget.  I sin.  I learn. I grow.  I forget.  Over and over there is dead fruit to contend with : impatience.   anger.   pride.  selfishness. Graciously, He helps me to reckon with my own sin, forgiving me when I repent, plucking it away, and preparing me for new blooms.

I love the words from John 15, because it reminds me that without Him I’m completely disabled.  My fruit is completely and totally reliant on Him.

5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

It is his glorious plan, and  I am grateful that He is the most tender and patient gardener of my heart.

Right now there’s a dogwood tree in our backyard, thick with lovely white blooms.

It didn’t bloom when we first bought the house.  Hidden in the shadows of a large, overbearing Hickory, I suppose it didn’t get enough sun.  For the longest time I wasn’t sure if it was dead or alive, or if it was truly a dogwood, because I had never seen it flower.

Two summers ago we cut down the giant Hickory.  Lo and behold, our little dogwood bloomed.

When the hickory was still standing, I hadn’t noticed it, but the truth is, little dogwood tree had grown up in such a strange shape.  Some would think it is deformed, its shape is so bent and strangely figured.

But, I know – our sweet little dogwood that once was affected by the dark shadows, is now set free in the sunshine, growing into the dogwood tree it was meant to be.  It is stretching up in new directions.

I’m reminded of this truth in my own life:  There are times and seasons for the shade of disappointment and suffering, but also times for the sunlight of growth and great gains.  It is true that the struggles of life may have a part in shaping who I am.  However,  after that darkness, when the full, honest, light of the Son begins to shine in my life, then I find myself becoming the beauty he intended, blooming with the fruit of His Spirit.

(a dahlia in my garden, just waiting to bust out in bright orange…)

It is springtime around here.  For me, that means a bit of gardening.  Well, it means planting and watering.  Nurturing and hoping. some miracle grow, pulling a few weeds. And more waiting.  and then hoping again.

My garden itself is small compared to my expectations.  I have two rose bushes, four dahlia plants, some day lilies and irises along with two blueberry bushes.  The blueberry bushes are off the hook because I just planted them, so I’m not hoping for anything this year.  But, I’m looking forward to the day soon when I can look out my front windows and see a sprinkle of bright colors across the green.

I was concerned a few days ago about my rose bushes.  There were buds that looked as though they had died, and I didn’t know what had happened.  But, my father-in-law, truly a master gardener himself, came over and encouraged me.  Nothing terrible had happened.  What I was looking at were the remains of old blossoms.  The good news was that on the very same bush there were a lot of tight-lipped buds, just waiting to burst open with color.  All was well.  I just needed to wait.

That was Saturday.  I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for those buds to loosen their grip and let out a flower, but really it is only Sunday evening.

I’ve been thinking about how my Heavenly Father may be viewing me, as a tiny part of His garden.  And I wonder, what does God see when he looks down through the windows of Heaven on my heart’s garden.

Is He patiently waiting on some of my fruit to blossom?  There’s a bloom or two of love and kindness.  Are there a few buds of hope and joy?  That looks like some peace about to come in.  I know He planted seeds, hoping for patience, but there don’t seem to be any shoots breaking through the soil yet.   There is no doubt He is working the ground of my heart, down deep; I feel the Holy Spirit digging out the weeds of sin that are choking the growth.  There may even be old dead buds that aren’t bearing fruit anymore…

After all of this thought, this is what I’ve come to understand in a fresh way:  It is true that I will never be perfect until Jesus returns, so, it is also true that just because I begin to see signs of His fruit of the spirit in my heart, it doesn’t mean the work is finished and that the fruit will always be there, full bodied, vital and growing.

The Heavenly Father, who is the Master Gardener of my heart, must continue to cause that Fruit to grow day in and day out.  But I must spend time beside Him,  pulling weeds of sin and watering my heart faithfully with the Word.  This is the truth that I’ve come to understand recently.   Just as I intend to work the little plot out in my front yard consistently all summer long, caring for the beauties I’ve planted, even so I must give the same gifts of effort and patience to my heart’s garden.

Here is what Paul says in Philippians 1:

⁶ being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

⁹ And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, ¹⁰ that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, ¹¹ being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

My heart finds joy knowing that even though I am just a  small piece of my Heavenly Father’s redemptive plan, He is more than interested.  He is taking the time to care for me; watering, nurturing and waiting patiently for the first fruit of this season to burst forth in glorious colors…  All made possible by the righteousness of Christ, All for the glory of God alone.

My heart is hopeful that it will happen soon.  maybe even a blossom or two today.

(one of my rose bushes, trying to keep its hot pink secret just a bit longer…)

There is a new flower bed in my front yard. Thanks to my husband’s labor of love, and my hard work too, there are dahlia tubers planted in that bed. I now feel muscles I was not previously aware that I had.

I love fresh flowers. Last summer, every time we went to my in-laws’ home, there were gorgeous, healthy, fresh dahlias in vases. I gained significant respect for my father in law and his green thumb. I’ve wondered all winter, “Am I capable of growing my own dahlias – do I have a green thumb?” And now this week it was time. I had to decide : Plant now or wait another year for my own vases of fresh flowers.

My sweet husband, knowing my love for fresh flowers, used one of the mornings during his week of vacation to help me with the bed – I never, repeat never, could have done this by myself. The soil needed significant work, the weeds and grass had to be pulled. I was not strong enough to turn the ground alone- it was so hard and dry. Did I mention we did not use a tiller? (gardening lesson # 1… tillers are our friends.)

As I helped to excavate with my shovel and ho, preparing the ground, I was reminded of a parable in the Bible – the one about the farmer, planting the seeds. I couldn’t help but remember the story. The story describes different types of ground and compares the soil to people’s hearts. There is the hard heart, the shallow heart, the heart grown over with thorns and full of stones, and there is the heart that is freshly turned, ready to receive God’s word.

“A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Hearing this story as a child I just assumed that my heart was the tilled up one, open to God’s word. I never even considered that I might have one of the other kinds of hearts. But, as I was digging in the ground with my new gloves on, I realized the truth. At one time or another my heart has been hard or grown over with weeds, probably just as often as it has been soft like freshly tilled soil, ready for planting.

I know that even while the soil in my new flower bed is prepared well to grow dahlias now, it will not be enough to grow flowers in the coming years. The seasons will change and the weather will not have respect for my garden; the soil will go through hot and cold temperatures, rain and snow, possibly lack of rain – and the dirt as I know it now will cease to exist. It will become hard and dry. Next spring I will be required to work the ground and prepare once again, if I wish to grow anything.

So it is with my heart’s garden. The seasons of life bring trials, difficulties, changes and my heart can become stiff and hardened to the things of God. But He is a gentle gardener. He continues to work at growing the fruit of his spirit in my heart, pulling out thick patches of deep rooted sins, tilling up the soil of my heart until it is ready to receive His word, His guidance, His love.

As I watch my garden for little sprouts of green, hopeful for a few brightly blossoming dahlias, I am watching for signs of life in my heart, too. Winter seems to have passed. I believe he has planted seeds of love, joy, patience, kindness, maybe even some self-control. Perhaps this spring there will be a few buds that will bloom into beautiful fruit in my heart.

It remains to be seen if I have a green thumb. But, there is no question : our Heavenly Father who continues the gardening of my heart season after season has a supremely green thumb. Praise God that He is able to grow the most beautiful fruit of all!

md

(originally written april 12, 2010)

It goes without saying that I need to water my flower garden on a regular basis. Even as a fledgling gardener, I am aware of this. I try to water in the evenings, sometimes with Miracle Gro, sometimes without – but, regularly they get a long slow drink of water.

Often my dahlias look droopy and dehydrated in the mid afternoon June heat. The heat weighs them down and I worry that they won’t make it. In a strange way, these flowers have become my companions, my friends. I know their leaves, I’ve watched how some perk up “just so” when they are watered. I know where their buds are and where I’ve cut their first blooms. When I see them looking so forlorn, its almost heartbreaking.

Would you believe me if I told you I have a lot in common with these flowers? At times my heart is parched, even scorched in the heat. I’m dehydrated, so much that my heart feels blistered and cracked. Life has a way of delivering complications that hang me out to dry while all moisture evaporates from my very insides.

But its at times like this when there is only one solution. Showers from heaven – a rain that can come only from the Holy Spirit. This is the way to survive the heat. His water brings rejuvenation and new life. It seems He watches, as my heart’s gardener. He comes with a deep drink of water for my heart at just the right time. He knows the places in my heart where fruit is blossoming, how my soul is revived by his love and affection. I am cared for by this Master gardener, drenched in His life giving flow.

When I think of it like this, it binds my heart to His in a whole new way. He is not just a Majestic, omniscient, omnipresent God – He cares for me, just as I gently care for my flowers. Although, he does a much better job than I do. I can confidently say, He is my friend. And He promises a drink when I need it!

There’s an old hymn that reminds me of His promise for refreshment!

Showers of Blessing

There shall be showers of blessing:

This is the promise of love;

There shall be seasons refreshing,

Sent from the Savior above.

Showers of blessing,

Showers of blessing we need:

Mercy-drops round us are falling,

But for the showers we plead.

There shall be showers of blessing,

Precious reviving again;

Over the hills and the valleys,

Sound of abundance of rain.

There shall be showers of blessing;

Send them upon us, O Lord;

Grant to us now a refreshing,

Come, and now honor Thy Word.