Category: friends and loved ones

life with my loved ones

friends and loved ones

it was after I opened the teddy grahams…

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tonight, I heard a gentle answer.  The one I’d been waiting for all week.

It is no secret that I have been searching for the answer to this question:  Why does God allow tragedy to happen to some, and not to others?  More specifically, why is it that I and my precious family were spared harm during the terrible storms last week, but others are suffering?

All I wanted was to catch a glimpse of understanding…

We had been away from home most of the day Sunday and decided to go to McAllister’s Deli for dinner.  Michael and I had decided the last time we ate there that whatever we did, we would be sure that all three children would have their teddy grahams when we left.  Cinnamon teddy grahams come with each kids’ meal; on our last visit there we made the mistake of leaving without someone’s treat.  It was a terrible mistake.  Suddenly everyone was at odds and it was unfair…  two had their packages of cookies.  one did not.

As parents we try so hard to keep things fair for our children.  But, it is humanly impossible.  Every once in a while someone goes without…

Tonight as we left the restaurant, I made sure that I had all three little red packages of goodies in my bag.  And because everyone was waiting for their treats, I opened them and let them munch on them on the way home… as I opened them I heard my answer…

“You see, Melody, I am fair to my children.  I love each one equally…”

“But, how can that be?  It doesn’t seem that way, as I drive around town and see all of this devastation…”

“I gave my love, when I gave my son so long ago; its available equally to each one who chooses to believe on Me and receive it.”

And in the moments following, I began to realize something important.   He promised that the rain would fall on the just and the unjust.  We would have pain and tragedy.   But, the love and hope that He offers, does not come from the earthly circumstances that I tend to focus on, in fact it has nothing to do with it.  Rather, real hope is a result of understanding the eternal life that He has promised.

With all of that in mind, I wonder…

Can I experience His peace without the turmoil?  Is it possible to know His healing without being ill?  Is there a knowledge of His hope, without first knowing despair?  The lightness of a forgiven heart without first feeling the heaviness of needing to repent?

Scripture clearly says that He does not will that any would parish.  I have to believe that He can use everything that happens in this life to bring this world closer to His theme of redemption:  He desires for each one to be drawn to Him, believe on Him, receive His forgiveness and prepare to be with Him in Heaven someday.  It is a gracious gift He offers to everyone.  Because He loves us.  all.  equally.

So, why Ringold, Georgia and not Hixson, Tennessee this time?  I’m sure I don’t really understand it all.  He didn’t say I would until I reach eternity. Then I’ll get it. For now I am  grateful for this love I’ve come to know; it is the love of the Heavenly Father.  And if there is one thing I am sure of, it is this; no on needs to go without…

friends and loved ones · who knows?

run like a runner…

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I’m about to tell a story of true, but gigantic proportions.  Its about me.  You won’t believe it.

Last night I went running in my ‘hood.  It was a bit chilly for this time of year, but I was raring to go.  I’ve been working out indoors and was anxious to monitor my real progress.  How far can I run? I mean really actually run?  feet pounding pavement, cold, fresh air burning my lungs?  how far?

I made a decision as I put my earbuds in, my iphone ready to blast my running playlist. I had been working hard on pushing my stamina beyond previous boundaries.  It was time.

Tonight I would run… like a runner.

And I did.

What does it mean to me, to run like a runner?  Well, I guess it is a change in mindset, which recreates how I carry myself.  If I’m a “walker”, I might believe I can only jog for a very short period, wanting to stop the running sooner than later.  But, if I’ve stepped into the “runner” frame of mind, I keep on going, because I don’t expect to stop;  I might actually enjoy the whole running experience.  My back is straighter, my heart and feet are lighter now…  “I think I can” is on the brain, rather than “I’m sure I can’t…”

Now, granted, I am still working on my 5K program, so it does not mean that I ran three miles without a sweat. Nope.  not even close.  But I did break a new barrier and ran for three minutes without struggling, without stopping to walk.  For me this is all so new and exciting.  I never thought it would happen.

And it is here, at this new intersection that I find myself confronted in my life-long marathon with Christ.  Its where my “know how” and my “desire” cross paths.  He wants me to run as the believer He’s created and called me to be.  Especially this week.  Why this week? (I knew you were wondering…)

Wednesday was a dark day for our city.  Tornados brought horrendous damage and devastation to our little corner of the world.  Homes flattened, possessions completely gone, lives taken.  It is beyond what my mind can conceive.  And yet He’s called me – and all believers to the marathon: How far will you go?  What will it take for you to run like a runner, after me, after my will, and my heart?  

He wants me to follow His commands to give from my prosperity to those in need.  He asks I give time, finances, supplies, whatever it takes to help those less fortunate who were ravaged by the storm. Give generously, give graciously, give wildly.    He wants me to have compassion, to be His hands and feet in a dark, grieving, wounded community.

1 Corinthians 9 23-27 (from the message)

23 I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!

 24-25You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.

 26-27I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

I  have to decide now is the time.  Its what I’ve been training for.  I must actually get up and run, with my heart prepared to go the distance back straight, head high.

like His runner.

friends and loved ones

the shark and the turtle will swim together

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We stared through the thick panes of glass for a long time.  Fish swam by.  Sting rays.  sharks.  Our agenda: we were looking for the turtle.  He always comes by at some point when we visit and we hadn’t seen him yet this time.  My daughter Emily feared the worst:  had our friend the turtle been consumed by one of the sharks?  I felt sure he hadn’t, but my sweet girl was convinced he had been someone’s dinner – and I had no absolute proof.  only words.

Finally.  At the last big window into the aquarium, our friend the turtle passed by.  We were able to leave with a feeling of relief.  Mr. Turtle was okay.  Emily and I talked a bit about the animals in the exhibit.  The shark and all of those teeth can be quite alarming…  neither of us are interested in deep sea diving these days that is for sure.

But there’s coming a day…

I was reminded of all of this yesterday after a visit to the hospital.  A sweet friend of mine had been admitted on Easter Sunday.  She struggles with several chronic diagnosis, that keep her ill, in and out of health facilities.  I sat with her to keep her company  by chatting about our girls, looking at Easter pictures and anticipating upcoming vacations. We gave our conversation mostly to life -giving, hopeful thoughts.

Whenever I walk through another facet of her illness with her I have to pray a lot.  I watch her as these illnesses try to consume her; they taunt me while I hope and entreat God for her healing and survival.  I confess that in these times I struggle with doubting God’s mercy.  How can this be His will?  How can He allow it?  And because He does, should I consider Him merciful?  These are just my honest questions.  This morning I do not have any answers…  but one…

There is coming a day of reckoning.  It will be a day when all will be made right.  The Bible describes a time when the lamb will be able to lay next to a lion without fear.  I believe this means we will be able to deep-sea dive in the ocean without fear of sharks and their teeth.  My dear friend will live without burden of disease and illness.  Life as we know it will be redeemed.  This earth will be made new and Satan will no longer be able to devour us with sin and death.

I read these words from Isaiah 35  this morning and was filled with a new confidence:

4 Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
With the recompense of God;
He will come and save you.”
5 Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,
And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
6 Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.
7 The parched ground shall become a pool,
And the thirsty land springs of water;
In the habitation of jackals, where each lay,
There shall be grass with reeds and rushes.
8 A highway shall be there, and a road,
And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness.
The unclean shall not pass over it,
But it shall be for others.
Whoever walks the road, although a fool,
Shall not go astray.
9 No lion shall be there,
Nor shall any ravenous beast go up on it;
It shall not be found there.
But the redeemed shall walk there,
10 And the ransomed of the LORD shall return,
And come to Zion with singing,
With everlasting joy on their heads.
They shall obtain joy and gladness,
And sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!

md

a bit of history · friends and loved ones

When I survey…

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It was spring on Hines Crescent where my family lived in London, Ontario…  We had moved there almost two years before.  Life had been a bit unsettled since then, but one person made everything else okay.  GG.  My Great Grandmother, GG, came to visit every spring and this year was no exception.    All was right with the world when she came to town.

At this time in my life all of my energy and focus was put towards playing the piano.  I was eight, my hands were tiny, but I soaked the information up from piano lessons like a sponge and I practiced like I was eighteen.   GG was my biggest fan and my best encourager.  I remember her sitting in the living room, working at the daily crossword from the paper while I played the same songs again and again.

GG was a pianist in her own right and she seemed to understand my love for the instrument.   One day I confided in her, telling her of my dream to be the pianist at church for the hymns.  Immediately, she pulled out one of our colorful paperback chorus books and helped me  find one song to work on.  She said it would be fairly easy for me:  in this book the song was in G major.  I’d start with the melody line and play it until I could add in all of the notes in both hands.  The song certainly wold be helpful in my future.

Over and over I played it.  Sometimes she’d even sing along, and I can still hear it now…

“When I survey the wondrous cross, on which the prince of glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride…”

Truthfully, at 8 I had no idea what those words meant.  But with the many sins and mistakes that have marked my journey, all of these years later I have come to realize she was right: the song would be meaningful in my future.  The lyrics to this anthem are truth for every believer’s heart and a guide post for each follower’s path.

This Easter weekend they have taken over my mind as I take time to look on the cross, His sacrifice and His love for me.  The forgiven life that I live, the daily grace I experience has nothing to do with what I’ve done.  Only His life given, His blood shed, His victory over death: this is an amazing, divine love to behold.

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.  (from Colossians 1)

Thank you Lord, for the gift of your righteousness, purchased with your own life’s blood.  I am left undone, knowing this love you have for me.  Keep my heart tender, my eyes focused on the cross and your sacrifice, today and always.  amen.

md

a bit of history · friends and loved ones

just keep singing

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There’s a song in my history.  So long ago it was sung to me by my great grandmother, GG. I can still hear her voice lilt along as only she could.   It seems like millions of years ago, but the song is fresh in my heart.

Fast forward those millions of years to, well, last night. bed time.  Mackenzie’s room. It has become apparent that my sweet baby girl loves music, and has a memory like a steel trap.  She has now accumulated a long repertoire of titles that she prefers for Michael and I to sing.  As we’re trying to help her relax into sleepy mode, she is making requests.  The favorite these days:  its that same song from my childhood.  It goes like this….

“I love you, a bushel and a peck.  A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.  A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap… doodle oodle oodle, doodle oodle oodle, doodle oodle doo doo doo…”

“again!”  she says.

I cherish each moment, more than happy to oblige my sweet baby doll.

There are times in life when I need my Heavenly Father to sing to me.  Over and over He has taught me the song. I should know it well by now.  But, sometimes I forget how it goes.  I can’t remember the tune, or I’m tongue tied. Life has its way of roaring in unexpectedly, knocking the song right out of me. Often I find myself sitting, trying to think of how the tune sounds…

The good news is:   He delights in me.  Not just that, He whirls around when He thinks of me, rejoicing.  and He promises to whisper the song back to me when I’ve forgotten.    When I ask Him, He keeps singing, just a little longer.

I’ve found the promise of Zephaniah 3 to be true, again and again:

17 The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

As He sings it to me, my heart is strengthened, I find the peace and calm only He offers.  Slowly but surely, it comes over me, warming me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.  I find my voice again;  I can sing along.

There is a song that He sings to me, and often, when I hear Him, I sing a long.  Its taken from Isaiah 43:1-3.  With confidence, I can sing His promises:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you
And the waves, will not overcome you
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are Mine

When you pass through the fire, you’ll not be hurt
And the flames will not consume you
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are Mine

For I am the Lord your God
I am the Lord your God
I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Thank you Heavenly Father for reminding me how your song goes…  I love it when You sing.

friends and loved ones

the things I didn’t know…

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When I discovered that I was going to be a mother more than nine years ago, I was so excited.  I had grown up with the desire to have children.  With my husband at my side, we began our journey of parenthood.  At that time, I had a few concerns in the back of my mind, but overall I felt well prepared.  After all – I had wonderful parents growing up and a lovely childhood. Surely their example combined with my own personal experiences were more than enough to make parenting a breeze….

It’s okay.  You can laugh out loud.  I did, just now.

There were so many things I didn’t know.  so many things I’m still learning.

For instance, I didn’t know that little boys had such bad aim and I would have to clean up puddles over and over again.  I wasn’t aware that a little baby girl could scream at the top of her teeny tiny lungs for so long.  No one told me that a child might throw up at dinner because of an over active gag reflex.   I couldn’t find a solution in any parenting book that helped my littlest one sleep through the night, even at 20 months.  And I certainly had no idea I would have to break up life and death fights between siblings over a happy meal toy.

There are so many things that experienced parents didn’t give fair warning about.  If they had, I’m not sure we would have had any children at all.  One thing’s for sure :   I didn’t know how to love.  I still don’t.  I thought I did, all those years ago.  But I was wrong.

This realization came to a head today.  As pressures from the day added up,  I became frustrated. I knew I was about to start acting ugly, (and there is no other word to describe it) and  I said out loud, “I CAN’T DO THIS!”  After making sure there was no imminent danger, I fled to my room for a few minutes of solace.  quiet.

And He said to me in my moments of peace, “You’re right.  You can’t do this.”

“But, I am their mom.  I should be able to love them well.”

“No.  I am the only one who loves them well – you are just one of my conduits…”

And like a hot golden sun emerges over the horizon at sunrise, those thoughts of truth began slowly shining brightly into my heart.

I can give my children affection; kisses and hugs are distributed liberally at our house.  I have mothering instincts to protect them from harm, care for them when they are sick or provide for their needs.  No, I have that kind of love.  But, there are times when they need more.   Unfortunately there is a large chasm between what I can do and what my little ones need.  When frustrations mount, when I come to the end of myself and my earthly abilities; when its just not enough, that is when the love that He’s given me more than fills that gap and it overflows to my children.

More than my motherly affection they need the love of a Heavenly Father.  It’s the same love which He has liberally and graciously given to me.  And the Holy Spirit, at work in my heart wants to use my life to pour that love into my children.  I don’t have to create it, only He can do that.   I just have to be the willing vessel.

Who knew?  I didn’t understand it.  not like this.

from 1 John 4:

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

These verses seem to sum it up for me and give me confidence to be the loving mother that He wants me to be.  Its true.  I have a lot to learn as a parent.   But, I am thankful that He took time to remind me today.  His love is best.  always.


friends and loved ones · in my kitchen

ice cream designs

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Let’s talk about ice cream for a minute.  I love it.  So does my husband.  Michael eats a bowl of ice cream almost every night.  I used to.  Nowadays I watch him eat his bowl of creamy delightful goodness – while I drink a tall glass of cool water. If I have any calories left I might indulge in a mini peppermint pattie.

Watching him eat his ice cream was really okay with me until last Friday night.  Yes.  That was when my beloved announced to me, while digging in to several scoops of Moose Tracks, that he had weighed himself the other day and found out that he had lost almost ten pounds without even trying.

Now.  How is that fair?

Seriously – I have been working for weeks at loosing weight.  Eating right.  Exercising.  Drinking water. Counting weight watchers points.  Five weeks of being diligent – and I haven’t lost five pounds yet.  And he lost 9 pounds without noticing?!?!  Even now I feel my blood pressure sky rocketing as I think about it and I can’t see straight.   I would like to scream. loudly.  But its 11:47 pm and I would rather not wake my babies.

*several deep breaths occurred here.*

Temper tantrum  averted.

Tonight I found myself wondering, “Why, God?  Why can’t weight loss be easier? This is so not fair!”  And the minute I had these thoughts, I wished I could take them back because I sounded like a big fat whiny baby.  But, He answered me anyway.

“I made you.”  Yes.  That’s what He said – and I realized as He said it that I may have insulted Him.  “I love you.  I designed you.  You were very expensive, but I paid the price for you anyway, so we can have this relationship.  You are mine.”

And of course I pressed Him for more answers (because that is how I am)… I asked Him why things couldn’t be different.  Why couldn’t He alter the design, just a bit? Like letting me eat ice cream and still loose weight? maybe?  Its just not fair – I love ice cream.

He explained to me that He desires for me to live patiently, diligently with godly perseverance – and this new life of eating better was one of the ways He could teach me these qualities.    Well, how could I argue with that?

Titus 2:11-14 says this:

11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, 12 teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.

His desires for me are more than my own satisfaction or happiness. He gave his life in order to purify His people.  He has no plans for fairness; rather they are blueprints for righteousness, godliness and the joy that follows.  He is the designer of my life; it’s one that is more satisfying than the weight loss I crave and it is sweeter than ice cream.

Heavenly Father – Thank you for your mercy.  You treat me with lovingkindness rather than dealing fairly with me…  You’ve never given me what I deserve – and for that I am grateful.  Help me to continue on this journey – give me the strength to persevere- the will power for diligence and the grace to endure it all.  amen.

friends and loved ones

today is the day!

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I drove home from church this morning, with my sunroof opened to the soft spring breeze and the clear blue skies. Lots to think about.

Maybe today should be the day.

There’s been a tragedy in our community this weekend.  A friend lost her husband and the father of her children, while he was on duty as a police sergeant, caught in the line of fire.  He gave his life while protecting ours.  It’s senseless.  Unfair. Dare I say it?  Infuriating.

My brain can’t seem to calm the flurry of activity in my head, while my heart is out of commission, completely numb and unable to feel.

Is today the day?

Well, as far as I know, the answer is yes.  In the midst of attempting to understand, I’ve come to this conclusion:  I can no longer afford to put off to tomorrow things that I can do today.  Tomorrow may never arrive, which would lead to unbearable grief and regret.

So, I have decided.  Today may be the day for:

rocking the baby while she naps, rather than folding laundry.

reading one more favorite book at bed time.

lingering over a kiss a bit longer.

strolling at the park, while my favorite ones blow bubbles; postponing the yard work.

holding hands.

soaking in the moments of laughter and giggles, and sealing them away in my heart’s memory.

planning a romantic getaway.

baking their favorite chocolate chip cookies and indulging in more than one.

piling in the bed, pj clad, snuggling under the covers just because.

driving with the tunes turned up loud, windows down, sun roof open, singing at the top of our lungs.

saying words of affection, those things I mean to say but often forget.

Today is the day for loving, for living; not taking the smallest moment for granted.   Each day of this life with my loved ones is a gift from the Heavenly Father.

Thank you Lord, for the precious ones in my home, Emily, Isaac, Mackenzie, and for Michael, the love of my life.  Help me to live a more grateful life, enjoying it all – every tidbit with them. Please remind me to make each day ‘the day’. amen.

“whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”  James 4:14

“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand… and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.”
Marie Beyon Ray

friends and loved ones

Wonder Woman Powers

melodyannday1 Comment

Today was a “wonder woman” kind of day.  I remember Wonder Woman from my childhood.  She was beautiful and she could capture criminals.  She could spin around and turn into a knockout with hip-high red leather boots and a tiara.  Definitely a force to be reckoned with : Completely amazing.

I had a day today that was of similar proportions.  Two loads of laundry before breakfast, school work with Emily, story time with Isaac, all while keeping Mackenzie happy.  I had a roast in the slow cooker by 10 AM and breakfast and lunch dishes cleaned up by 12:30.  During Isaac’s nap, Emily and I did a Christmas decoupage project.  I tell you, I could have done a dirty dish round up with Wonder Woman’s lasso, if I had one.  A trip to Publix in an imaginary jet would have been in order.  Yes its been a triumphant day, no less.

But I’m no fool.  There are days that are lack luster to be sure.  Just last week I had a day, where my children fought almost the entire day. My dishes were in the sink all day. Only one pair of clean clothes were left for my children, but no laundry was done.  It was a day where I wished I could spin around and well…  I don’t know what I would have done, but it would have been amazing.

Its okay, really, because I know the truth.  As a glorious Wonder Woman or just plain old me, I know what’s happening.  Everything I accomplish is a gift of strength.  Whatever my occupation, I manage to do it because of Christ and his power.  Scripture is my motto when I have a day similar to last week’s :  “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” But it’s a power anthem ringing in my heart on a day like today.  He works in my weakness, and he gives me grace to keep going – good days and bad days alike.

My children have yet to see the incredible things I can do with this God – given power.  For now, I’ll forgo the spinning – someone might get hurt.

Praise God for His Wondrous Power and Might!

Amen.

md

(written December 8, 2009)

friends and loved ones · who knows?

the bright side of being sick

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It’s day two for my sweet baby girl, Mackenzie.  I’m afraid she’s down for the count.  We won’t avoid a trip to our pediatrician this time around.  We’ve gone from a high fever that seemed confined to bedtime accompanied by a polite cough to a chesty, productive cough, a runny nose and a consistent fever. It is safe to say she is sick.

I don’t love it when my little baby doll is ill.  It is so pitiful to see her lethargic, dragging her passy and blanky around looking for some comfort.   With almost no appetite, I have to work hard at getting her to eat a few goldfish.  I keep her sippy cup filled with pedia light – but a little swig now and then is all she will do.  It is 1:30 in the afternoon and I’m not sure she has even taken 3 ounces today.  Oh my,  it is so hard to see her miserable.

What I cherish is this:  the long periods of snuggling; reading whole books together without her wiggling to get down and explore; watching Veggie Tales and Mickey Mouse Club House all the while cozied up on the couch under our favorite blanket.  My girl wants me to hold her close when she is not feeling well, and I can’t resist indulging her.

Sometimes my heart is sick. Life can give me a good solid kick in the gut sometimes.  And it hurts, no matter if it is a repercussion from my own doing or from another’s actions.  Often I feel as though my heart is bruised, painful to the slightest brush of careless words or thoughtless actions.   Its all a part of a bigger picture, you know, the one that depicts each of us humans as sinners who daily need God’ s grace. There is no way to be a part of this temporary earthly home without injury.

But, the good news I’m experiencing today is this:  He does not take pleasure in my infirmity.  Rather, He wants me to bring myself, wounded and worn, prepared to soak in His healing presence.  Just the way I have such a strong desire to be a part of caring for my daughter in her sickness,  all the more He longs to be at the center of my restoration.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  There are times where all I want, no, all I need is for Him to hold me tight and caress my heart and mind with promises of His affection, forgiveness and care.  He always obliges.  always.

The bright side of realizing my own messed up heart is the path to recovery.  Its arriving at a new understanding of His constant, abiding, unfailing presence and peace.  The process is ongoing;  I will never  be able to comprehend the fullness of the depths of His love and mercy until I reach eternity.

There is an old hymn that has been sneaking around in the background of life today – and the words draw me to a place of refreshment –  I find reminders of His promise for healing and hope, that He is every bit and even more than I could possibly imagine.

O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Spread His praise from shore to shore,
How His love is never-ending,
And it changes nevermore;
How He watches o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He’s interceding,
Watching o’er them from the throne.

O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
Love of ev’ry love the best:
‘Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
‘Tis a haven sweet of rest.
O the deep, deep love of Jesus!
‘Tis a heav’n of heav’ns to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
With You evermore to be.