At our church’s Good Friday Service I took a moment to look out over the crowd.  All different kinds of people sitting in the pews, observing such a solemn and heavy occasion.  Why are people drawn to worship in such a way on a cool and rainy evening?  Are they barely surviving pain or fear?  What is it they need?

I searched faces… and I wondered.  I may never know the individual stories of many of these people.   When we read the crucifixion account aloud and I was reminded of why I was worshiping on Good Friday.

My status:  betrayer.
My need: relief.  renewal.

There is one thing I do know about this congregation.  Indeed, on this Good Friday, each and every one of us needs Sunday’s Resurrection.

Scripture says so clearly: We are all betrayers.  We have all turned and gone our own way, causing the full burden of our inquity to be laid on Jesus alone.

All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.

It doesn’t matter how sin is affecting me as an individual, or anyone else.  It really doesn’t, because the events of Good Friday – Jesus death on the cross-  covers it all.  all of it.  Sin, death, sickness.  Scripture declares that by His wounds, in His body, He received the transgressions of the world. There is no illness he can’t heal, no heart He can’t mend.

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

Our needs are not the same. In fact each one is unique.  But, the solution never changes.  When He stepped out of that grave He brought with Him the victory over every struggle! And, with His resurrection He promises to renew all things one day.    And that is the covenant He has made with those who believe in Him.

My Jesus will make ALL things new.  He will make me new. Hallelujah! This is the Resurrection we all need.  amen.

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One of my favorite Easter Celebration songs comes from Andrew Peterson’s album, Resurrection Letters volume 2, which reminds us of His promise to come and make all things new again.

All Things New

“Mom, I think I’m gonna throw up…  Mom… Mom!”

These were the words I heard from my Isaac yesterday afternoon, just after we got home.

And he did.

Ick.

As I wiped his mouth, I thought to myself, “Well, this changes everything!”  I knew, if this was a stomach bug, that we’d fall like dominos – and one by one we’d all get it.  All of our weekend plans would be ruined.  And that was a bummer.

But then I remembered…

Not long ago, upon receiving very distressing news I had a similar thought.  It was the kind of information that altered every thought I managed to have, and mocked every normal sensibility I had formerly known.   I couldn’t form any thoughts without raw emotion and fear taking over.

Standing in the kitchen, as I cried out to my Heavenly Father in desperation, I had that same thought  : “This changes everything!”

And do you know what He said to me?

“No, my sweet daughter.  Nothing has changed, nothing that truly matters.”

In that brief moment, my perspective was adjusted.  Circumstances may have been altered – but, His plan for me, the path He created for my life is exactly the same as it was when time began.   I have new information now, and it makes my path feel different.    However, He is unchanging.   The important facts remain:  He is still in control, He is still the Risen Lord, He is still my Loving Father, He is still the Healer,  He is still my Redeemer and He is still with me and present on my daily journey.

Whether it is big or small, unexpected life events can alter my outlook. That is true.  But, when those moments move my focal point to more of Him and less of earthly distractions, I come to realize that those events can not change this Sure Foundation I have or His will.

God’s Word, Jeremiah 29:11-13:

¹¹ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

Praise the Lord!  When life seems to be unstable, He is unchanging and His plan is secure!

amen.

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I lead this hymn last Sunday at church, and it is very significant to me today:

1. My hope is built on nothing less
   Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
   I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
   But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
   • Refrain:
     On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
     All other ground is sinking sand,
     All other ground is sinking sand.
2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
   I rest on His unchanging grace;
   In every high and stormy gale,
   My anchor holds within the veil.
3. His oath, His covenant, His blood
   Support me in the whelming flood;
   When all around my soul gives way,
   He then is all my hope and stay.
4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
   Oh, may I then in Him be found;
   Dressed in His righteousness alone,
   Faultless to stand before the throne.

“Look, Mom!  No hands!”  Sometimes I hear these words from my kids, on my running days. We go to the park and they swing while I run. Well, I try to run.  And they give me a shout out when I pass by on the track.

Everyone’s thought it, or said it at some point, haven’t they?  The need for independence or the struggle to do things on my own has been a problem for me.  I’ve been able to take care of stuff without help.  always.

So, when my life got a little topsy-turvy the last couple of weeks, I’ve come to a realization:      I can’t do life alone.  I just can’t.  And as much as everyone else knows it, it was a bit of a shocker for me.

What has been so overwhelming in the midst of my personal discovery is that the God of the Universe, who owns every star, is also Jehovah Jireh, my provider. How faithful and generous He has been, giving exactly what I need.  His plan for my provision appears to be intricate and detailed, far superior to anything I could have designed….

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Our friendship is new, but so very open and honest.  She is choosing to walk this road with me.  Her email was short and to the point.  But, her words were beyond value.  “I’ll be praying you’re able to give this burden to Him.”

*     *     *     *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Another friend, recently living a similar journey to mine, said these words, “I’ve learned this is a both hands kind of deal.  I just have to hold onto Him with both hands.”

And we agreed that you can’t hold on to anything else if you’re holding onto Him in a two-handed grasp.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Those are just two of many friends, family members and even acquaintances, offering words of encouragement and comfort, thoughts from Scripture or praying…These people, they have become a part of His provision.   How could they possibly know what I need to hear at that moment?  They don’t, but He does…because He is my Provider.

I am learning, on a minute by minute schedule, that the only One who offered Himself as a sacrifice, is indeed the very One I need to cling to.  Because of His death and resurrection,  and the eternal life He gives, I find all that I need in Him; this means letting go of the earthly, in order to hold on to the everlasting God.

Look, no hands!  indeed.

                                 One of my favorite photos of my girls from a while ago…

(originally written May 5, 2010)

A few mornings ago I watched the Today show. I don’t normally watch, but I did that day. In the midst of their news and other fluff pieces they aired an interview that has been haunting me since.

I saw pictures of a young girl who had lost her battle with an eating disorder. Her mother and brother spoke of her illness and their inability to help. As her photos filed by on my tv screen, I looked into her eyes. They were empty. There was nothing behind them – no emotion, no vitality. I began to feel ill and changed the channel.

Over the course of the day thoughts passed through my mind. Why did she struggle? Did she not feel accepted? Was she abused? Could no one give her the aid she needed? Did she not know that she was loved?

As the mother of two young girls, I can’t help but wonder how to keep my sweet daughters from this battle. In today’s society it is so difficult to keep them from feeling like they aren’t good enough, or pretty enough – that they are not accepted by others. These emotions can take the fire from anyone’s eyes. It could leave any young girl empty.

Not long ago I read something and at first it was thought provoking. The author told of how she had begun to picture her children with signs around their necks that said, “I don’t know for sure that you love me.” Initially, it brought change to how I respond to my children. But it began to press on me. I had to work really hard to do everything right, to love my children enough to keep their young hearts full and happy.

However, as time has gone on, I’ve come to realize I can’t do it. I love my children with all my heart. And with God’s help, I can love them to the best of my ability. But there is no perfection in parenthood. I will make mistakes. I have the potential to say the wrong thing. I am likely to hurt their feelings or damage their egos.

As I searched for an answer to my dilemma, and there are a lot of secular solutions out there, I realized that there is only one option. Real Love. I’ve experienced its life-giving flow. I know its power and have felt it satisfy the deep longings of my heart.

“Here is love, vast as the ocean
Lovingkindness as the flood
When the Prince of Life, our Ransom
Shed for us His precious blood.
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing his praise?
He can never be forgotten
Throughout heav’n’s eternal days.

On the mount of crucifixion
fountains opened deep and wide
Through the floodgates of God’s mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide
Grace and love, like mighty rivers
Poured incessant from above
And Heav’n’s peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love.

No love is higher, no love is wider
No love deeper, no love is truer
No love is like Your love, O Lord.”

I can not love my girls enough to fill their hearts. But the Heavenly Father can. He can keep their hearts and minds, overflowing them with more love and peace than any earthly being ever could. He promises to love them with tenacity, with affections that will not end. Beautiful vessels, never hollow, but full of His life and love.

From Romans 8:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Blessed be the Lord,  Who daily loads us with benefits…  Psalm 68:19

I’ve been counting many of my blessings today.  These three,  Emily, Isaac and Mackenzie, rank right at the top of the list.  And on this week of Valentine’s day, my heart is so full it is overflowing.   These are our little loved ones…  and I can’t imagine life without them.

Thank you Lord, for filling our home with so much love.  I’ve done nothing to deserve such rich blessings – but my heart is absolutely grateful.

This morning I set out with my family on an expedition. We had a list a mile long it seemed of items to acquire. Most of them were mundane necessities, but there were a few that were important, even exciting.

My husband and I had decided it was time to purchase my son a bicycle. He is ready and he loves being outdoors with his sister. More recently though, his frustration has mounted when playing because he has been trying to keep up with her on her “big girl” bicycle while riding his little tricycle. When we told him first thing this morning that we were going to look for a bike for him his big brown eyes grew wide. And he said, “I would like a wed bicycle pwease.”

Anyone who knows my son, and his “Day family” stubborn streak, knows right away: there would be no satisfaction without a red bicycle. Now, I am a sucker. I know that things do not buy happiness. But I also know that I would love for my son to have a special bicycle that he loves. So, at that moment, when those words came from his lips, I said a prayer. I asked God to help us find the right size, red boy’s, bicycle for my little Isaac. here. today. in Chattanooga.

Suddenly, it seemed like my prayer was a request for a miracle.

All of this comes on the heels of a bitter week for me. I’ve tried not to focus on it, but I’ve been in a funk. The little things, and there are many of them : unanswered prayers and different concerns have been building. This week they all kind of rolled into a gigantic snowball, leaving me a bit cold, almost numb. It has culminated with lost sleep, tears and a nauseous stomach. What was God waiting for and why did He seem absent in so many different ways?

The situation has been offensive to me. I have been waiting for His presence and guidance in a few areas and I have felt very insignificant to Him. At one point I feel sure I said to Him: “These things are important to me! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?!?” When I calmed down, after that particular conversation I said to Him, “If I could just see you and talk about this in person, If you could just hold me for a little bit, I would feel so much better about all of this.” And do you know what happened?

A song came on, in my van. (yes, I was driving – so often that is when life happens to me) It’s an old Amy Grant tune but she sang it so sweetly,

In a little while we’ll be with the Father,
Can’t you see Him smile?
In a little while we’ll be home forever, in a while.
We’re just here to learn to love Him,
We’ll be home, in just a little while.

Back to the event at hand. We began our search at Dick’s Sporting goods. And I use the term “we” loosely. I stayed in the van initially with Mackenzie to feed her a bottle while Isaac, Emily and Michael went in to look for the red, boy’s, pre-schooler sized bicycle.

Walking down the aisle of the store, headed back towards the bicycles, I realized I should have known He would take care of it. There, was my sweet little boy, riding the perfect sized little red bicycle with Lightening McQueen on it! (we didn’t even ask for that, but He knew…) and a red-flamed helmet to boot! When we got back in the car, bike and helmet in our possession, it was as if the Heavenly Father said to me so gently, “Until we can be together, you are just going to have to trust that I hear you. I am with you. I know you. and I love you.”

And so that’s it. I can’t help but hope my son rides that little bicycle as long as possible. It is such a good reminder for me of God’s constant love and attention towards me and my little family. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for your love shown to us today in a red bicycle and helmet! I love you!

md

(written early spring, 2010…  where does the time go?)

My sweet little people played in the snow on Saturday.  Enormous, thick, wet flakes accumulated in a hurry – and my children enjoyed every minute.  Pure heavenliness drifting  down from the silver sky…  creating a soft blanket of white.

It was beautiful, while it lasted.

I couldn’t help but think of this hymn, Fairest Lord Jesus, as I looked over the photos of my children in the snow…  Such breath taking beauty and still, my Jesus, He is fairer.  In fact, He is the fairest, and He will be eternally. Ever since I had the thought, my mind has been captured.

Often I choose to live my life as though He is nothing of the sort.  Many unworthy things divide my heart until I have barely any love or attention to give to anyone.  It is wrong, I know.  But, I confess. I am human and my heart is sinful.  I will never be able to love fully or perfectly until I am basking in the glow of His loving presence.

Is there hope for me here on this earth?  Of course, I can learn to love Him more deeply, while living here in this mortal body.  But, the eternal hope of unending, undying love is far greater.  And that is such a glorious thought.  Viewing nature in all of its loveliness and its grandeur on Saturday was a wonder-filled thing because I realized that one day I will be able to love Him best.

Forever all praise and glory will belong to Him, the Fairest One of All.

Fairest Lord Jesus.

Fairest Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature,
O Thou of God and man the Son,
Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor,
Thou, my soul’s glory, joy and crown.

Fair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands,
Robed in the blooming garb of spring;
Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer,
Who makes the woeful heart to sing.

Fair is the sunshine,
Fairer still the moonlight,
And all the twinkling starry host;
Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer
Than all the angels heaven can boast.

Beautiful Savior! Lord of all the nations!
Son of God and Son of Man!
Glory and honor, praise, adoration,
Now and forever more be Thine.