Category: friends and loved ones

life with my loved ones

friends and loved ones · home schooling

backing out

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There we sat chatting, my friend and I, in my living room, enjoying our visit.  Never noticing…

I take that back. I noticed a sign, something smelled burnt, like a candle had been blown out.  But, that’s not unusual at my house.

And then there was my baby girl daughter who came over to me to say the table cloth was sticky… Again, very usual, with spilled juice and jelly sliding off of toast commonly adorning our table… But it wasn’t until I stood up and turned to look towards the table in the dining room that I understood.

My daughter had caught her coloring paper on fire in a tea light candle, (the reason for the burnt smell) and it had melted a hole in the table cloth (hence her “sticky” description of the table)

Be assured that by this time the fire was already out, and the table was easily cleaned up. It wasn’t a terrible mess.  There was no call to 911 or anything. Baby girl wasn’t remotely singed, or even concerned really.

begin mental rehearsal here:  I am a good mother.  I am a good mother.  I am a good mother… etc.  etc.

The fact is, no matter what I do or how much I love my family, and regardless of the perfect moments, there are days when I’d like to back out.  After this day in particular, I had to ask, “Lord, really?  Are you sure this is what You called me to do? Because, I’m not good at it. ”  On days like today I question the wisdom of a God who would call me to do this work, when clearly, I’m absolutely not capable.

But there is true beauty in His merciful and loving answers and such with such grace He ministers those answers to me, all the while I’ve shifted into reverse.

In my outright fear of failure, fear of mistakes, fear of missing the correct choices – He spoke to me so clearly from a children’s book I’ve been reading with my little people.  The words rang out like a bell from my very own voice, and they’ve been resonating thru my mind and following me throughout my home ever since.

May I share this brief passage with you?  It is from a simple advent book called, “Jotham’s Journey.”  At this point in the story Jotham is a ten year old boy, alone, hurt, and scared out of his mind… when a special rescuer comes to his aid.

* * * * *

“There, there, little one.  Be at peace,” the stranger said softly (to Jotham). Seeing the smile on the man’s face, Jotham calmed a little and stopped struggling.  There was a bright glow around the man’s head, and his face beamed with kindness.  “I heard you calling the name of Jehovah,” he said gently.  “And so I came.”

Sometimes the fears we have are imagined, and sometimes they are real.  Sometimes we are caught in situations over which we have no control, and sometimes we cause those situations ourselves.  But God’s word to Israel and to us is always the same: “Do not fear; I will help you.”

* * * * * *

always the same.  I will help you. 

Once again, He has taken the time to remind me, it is okay to keep moving forward in this work He’s called me to.  God, My Heavenly Father is here to help when I call. I don’t need to fear because He is a good father.  In fact, He has made the only way to find help, thru Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  Otherwise, it is impossible for me to be a good mother on my own.  Really, I can apply these thoughts not just to motherhood, but to every piece of my life.  He is present.  He will help.   No backing out, just relying on Him and the promise of His provision for the journey.

friends and loved ones

the hope of winter snow

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Word in the Farmer’s Almanac is that we’re going to have a pretty cold, even snowy winter.  I’m not really sure what that means for Chattanooga, TN – but my children are pumped.

Because my children have visited winter in Grand Rapids, Michigan every year, they seem to think they know and understand what it is.  And they want a bigger piece of the action, here at home.  I wouldn’t mind it either.  Sledding, snowballs, and frigid temperatures that require significant amounts of hot chocolate.  No, I wouldn’t mind a good bit of snow at all this time around.

There is something unexpectedly refreshing and calming about tiny, perfect, white, icicle wonders falling from the sky.  Every time I look out the window and see little flakes drifting down, creating a fluffy blanket, I am quieted.  It is unusual, I know, but still, I am hopeful for such a winter snow, many times over this season.

Really, I could use some serious quiet right now, after a noisy, clamoring time of anxiety, stress and craziness.  Especially in this season, the hushed life is welcome in my home.

I’ve been reflecting on all of this, and remembering a song called, “Winter Snow” – and these are the words, full of meaning for me this year:

You could’ve come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane.
You could’ve come like a forest fire
With the power of Heaven in Your flame.
But You came like a winter snow,
Quiet and soft and slow,
Falling from the sky in the night,
To the earth below.
You could’ve swept in like a tidal wave,
Or an ocean to ravish our hearts.
You could have come through like a roaring flood,
To wipe away the things we’ve scarred.
But You came like a winter snow,
You were quiet, You were soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth belowYour voice wasn’t in a bush burning.
No, Your voice wasn’t in a rushing wind.
It was still, it was small, it was hidden.Oh, You came like a winter snow,
Quiet and soft and slow,
Falling from the sky in the night,
To the earth below.

Long ago, He came as a gentle baby, without wealth or fanfare. And still, even these days He comes, His Spirit nudging in the stillness. Just like my hope of a winter snow,  I pray for Jesus to take me over. Not by force, but with quiet whispers that I am desperate to hear;   with tones of love that resonate joy in the deepest places of my very being.
My heart’s hope and cry is Come once again to my heart, Lord Jesus!
friends and loved ones

first things first.

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Its the first day of Advent.

My year has been a crazy one.  I feel like I’ve lost track of whole months.  And truthfully, the Advent Season, December and  Christmastime has snuck up on me like a gigantic flashing neon sign. Despite its obvious place on the calendar, I find myself completely unprepared.  December’s days are packed, with events and gatherings,  shopping and baking.

I’ve been dreading the possibility of sitting by my tree the day after Christmas, realizing it is all over, a really blurry memory that I didn’t even have time to take it in. And this thought leaves my cold, almost lifeless.

But, here’s what happened yesterday.  and again today.  I decided to NOT put up all the Christmas decorations.  not yet.  Yesterday would have normally been the perfect day for it, but I opted out. I was searching for a way that my head and heart could catch up with the calendar.

And this is what I did.  I got out my nativity scene. It was the only decoration I wanted to see.

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Sitting here in my living room, looking at the figurine of Mary holding the baby Jesus, there is a warmth that surrounds me and fills me.  This is the only true reason to celebrate Christmas:  Jesus, the hope of all mankind, took on a cloak of human flesh, fulfilling prophecies and bringing promise for the nations.

Here, with the lights low, sitting in my rocking chair, I’m reminded of the greatest gift to earth.  Wrapped in a blanket, held in His mother arms, I rehearse just a few of the wonderful things he brought to us : peace, joy, love, forgiveness, mercy and so much more.   As I focus my heart on Him, I realize I have all I need to make my Christmastime complete.    My heart slows, my mind clears and I find Him at the center.

This is what I need.  This is all I need.

What an amazing way to begin the Advent season!  Jesus first.

amen.

friends and loved ones

His blessings flow

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Today is Thanksgiving.  Words don’t seem to express how my heart swells… but I’m trying!

Though 2013 has been a year of trial and struggle, I continue to experience blessings that flow daily from Heaven to earth.  I’m filled with wonder at God’s grace in my life.

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My sweet husband, my healthy children, an abundance of supportive friends and family , and work that I love.

My home, filled with His provision – comfy beds, more than plenty food, lots of music and laughter.  It is a life of luxury many others do not enjoy.

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My life in Jesus Christ, along with the hope He brings ; earthly peace and the promise of eternal joy.  In lovingkindness, He continues the work in my heart, making me into His likeness.

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I do not deserve any of this goodness in my life.  In fact, in the aftermath of sickness this year, I find that all along the way it was my Savior who has been drawing me closer to Himself.  While it is hard to comprehend, I realize the truth more deeply that in His great mercy He uses all things for good.

What I do know : All goodness is ordained by His hand, because my Heavenly Father IS good.  With a grateful heart, I sing to the Lord:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

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friends and loved ones

on the way to friendship…

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I’m home, sitting on my couch with my laptop, after a lovely weekend retreat with the ladies of Brainerd Presbyterian.  Last year I went,  barely knowing their names – some of them absolute strangers.   This year, I knew everyone, some of them close-like-a-sister friends.

It happened while I wasn’t looking.    Life passes by, just like that, in the smallest, terribly usual moments.

All of the little things slipped by unnoticed, I guess – choir rehearsals, chats in the hallway at church,  prayer requests shared, conversations filled with concern, laughs and silliness, Wednesday night suppers,  I could go on and on.

But, here we are a year later : I’ve been on the road, and I didn’t even see it, until we were on the way to the retreat.   I found myself beyond excited to spend time within a community of treasured friendship.

Our time together was a gracious gift from the Heavenly Father.  I am so grateful that he set my feet on this road of life, on a journey of friendship.

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friends and loved ones

fel-low-ship

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fellowship: def.- companionship, company;  a community of interest, activity, feeling or experience.  a company of equals or friends; the quality or state of being comradely.

I had the unique and enviable opportunity to attend a women’s retreat with the ladies of Brainerd Presbyterian Church this past weekend.   Some had told me it was special, but I didn’t know.  Not without the experience.

Would you believe me if I told you I watched women from ages 18-80 having real fellowship?  No cattiness, no cliquish behavior…  just true kindness and encouragement.  Oh- there was teasing and joking and mischief, too.  But, these women have taken care to do something really important.  They are caring for one another, young and old alike – in a “company of equals.”   Beyond their personal interests or  experiences, they are following one commandment very well.

“Love one another.”

It sounds simple in theory, but to do it…  as females… it is much harder.

I am so thankful the Lord allowed me to have such an amazing time of fellowship with some pretty incredible women this weekend.  I’ve tried to use words to describe it.  We hiked, we shopped, we ate, we studied God’s Word…  but this is what it looked like:

The cabin.

the view.

the peace and quiet.

the snacks. (no one was going hungry on this retreat.)

the early morning coffee

the bird’s-eye view

the laughter

the knitters. (and there were quite a few)

the hikers.

the nature lovers.

the hikers who went further…

the beauty.

the friendships, old and new

the nurturing from God’s Word

the dinner preparation, by mother and daughter.

the encouragement

the caring

the perfect ending, to an unforgettable weekend.

Thank you to all of my new friends at BPC. I am so blessed by this treasure you so graciously shared with me.  My heart is grateful.

Originally written November 2012

friends and loved ones · who knows?

jubilee

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I stood opposite the gentleman as he hammered and tapped.  Gently, firmly, carefully he maneuvered the piece of silver.  Masterfully he worked it into place.  And I gazed from the other side of the table.

Of all the treasures to be sought or found, on Sunday, at Kettner’s Mill, I had come across something precious.  “It’s from 1953, a silver flat wear pattern called Jubilee.” he informed me.    He had expertly formed the old teaspoon into a lovely ring, and it fits my right hand’s ring finger just perfectly.

I’ve been tossing around the meaning of “Jubilee” in my mind, considering its most general meaning and its meaning in the Old Testament too.  In normal, everyday English it means to celebrate a special anniversary or occasion.  In Scripture it means to rejoice and celebrate  restoration and freedom.  The book of Leviticus lays out particulars of how the Israelites were supposed to acknowledge the year of jubilee.

Considering my past year, I’ve been wondering about this business of Jubilee.  This journey I’ve been on,  thousands of emotional miles, all in a matter of months, has permanently altered me.  I’ve been examining some of the monumental moments.  Just like the craftsman with my ring, The Heavenly Father has been forming me, coaxing me into the exact shape of who He wants me to be.  Sometimes it has been a light tap, other times a firm knock – but He is the one responsible for changing my very being.  All with a view of restoration, and freedom, I’m renewed to be more like Him, and to genuinely reflect His glory.

So, I’m wearing my Jubilee ring.  And with a great deal of affection and gratefulness, I might add.   Every time I notice that ring on my finger, I have cause to rejoice.  Rejoice for this life that He has given me, for His redeeming work in my heart, and for every promise He has made to me – because every promise He has made is true.   It is a beautiful time of jubilee in my heart, and He is the one who has made it so.

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a bit of history · friends and loved ones

tune my heart…

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Every Columbus Day, which also happens to be Canadian Thanksgiving, my family and I begin a season of giving thanks.  We celebrate in a lot of different ways;  several of our traditions we have been doing since Emily was tiny.

But, no matter how we choose to act out our thanks, it seems to bring our hearts together, singing songs of His goodness.

Tonight, as I was sorting thru a few of my photos, I realized it has been a while since I’ve recited my own heart’s gratefulness.  So,  I thought I’d rehearse some of my best blessings, here…  DSC_0141

Another year of life to celebrate, more meaningful to me than years passed…

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Anniversary tulips from the man who knows and loves me well…

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Exploration and laughter with cousins, sometimes in tents

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Little fingers and hearts and minds discovering God’s world.

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Painting buddies
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Good friends worthy of adventure

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DSC_0085and last, but not least – these three, representing so much of His goodness in my life.

Thank you, LORD!!!

friends and loved ones

light, at the end of the tunnel

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Standing at my kitchen sink this evening there seemed to be a warm glow in my back yard.  Dusk was settling in. But, while I washed dishes I could enjoy seeing Michael working, because there was light coming from inside his shop.

Lights.  We’ve got electricity.  and its a big deal.

Why does it seem so monumental?  Well, I’ll tell you.

A year and a half ago, we made some decisions.  Among them was the choice to build Michael’s workshop.  Lots of time and money later we aren’t quite finished.  The outside is close, and the inside finishes will hopefully be completed this winter.

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He has persevered in relentless pursuit of this calling.  and I am a witness to his unwavering commitment.  This continues to be a faith endeavor that requires significant action.  Sometimes it is hard.  terribly hard.  And other times it comes as naturally as, well, flipping on a lightswitch .

But, power in the shop is confirmation : we are almost there!

And more importantly it is proof, one more time that God makes good on His Word ; If He begins it, He finishes it.  If He requires it, He gives the necessary strength.  Tonight these promises have been proven to me again, simply because He provided the light and shined the truth into my heart.

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friends and loved ones · in my kitchen

dishes, mind, and heart washed clean

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As I moved around my kitchen, putting dishes away, I felt my sock get wet.  Standing just below the dishwasher there was a puddle.  a puddle of warm soapy water…

And I knew there was trouble.

Our twelve year old dishwasher has seen better days.  Originally, it was given to us brand new – an unexpected gift at a time when we desperately needed a working dishwasher. I won’t go into all of those details now, but suffice it to say, all these years and washing cycles later, our dishwasher has given up the ghost.  With an already broken handle (which my husband had brilliantly rigged, since there is no replacement part), our faithful dishwasher decided to leak warm water all over the floor.

Lest you worry for us, we will survive.  A few weeks of saving and watching for sales around town, and we’ll be on the road to a new dishwasher.

In the mean time there is this old-fashioned approach.  You may have heard of it: If you fill your kitchen sink with hot soapy, foamy water, you can set your dishes in there and with a cloth, or a sponge you can get those forks and knives sparkling clean.  It’s true!

Well, we’ve been sharing the opportunities to wash dishes by hand this week – and, for a number of different reasons it has been good for our whole family. It is never a bad thing to share in a bit of work.    After all, no one wants to eat their dinner off of dirty plates, right?

As I took my turn at the sink yesterday,  I had this thought.  The same daily concern my little family is taking with our glasses, silverware, pots and pans, I should be taking with my mind, too:

from Philippians: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Often I spend my days viewing life with a filthy lens, my mind cloudy with the grease and grime of worldly thoughts.  And what happens is exactly what you’d expect:  an anxious, uneasy, complicated, even sinful life.

But when I take the time to clean my mind, as Paul suggests here, in Philippians – the Holy Spirit is able to wash and regenerate my life with His Word.  Allowing my thoughts to meditate on what is true and good by His standards, my heart changes and then even my actions change.

I am so grateful for His cleansing work in my life – better than any dishwasher.  And I am thankful He has the power to change my heart and mind to be more clean than the most sparkling clear glasses.

amen