It happened at our church on the first night of children’s choir a few weeks ago.  Nothing unusual or out of the ordinary was going on – I arrived at the church with two of my children and started preparing for all of the choir activities I had planned.

My Isaac and Mackenzie were happily situated at the back of the sanctuary on a pew, playing on iPads and waiting for me while I did my thing.  I ran upstairs to make some copies and find the rhythm sticks.  Without realizing I became a bit distracted chatting with Pastor Chris – when I heard a faint holler.

It was “Moooooooooooooom!!!!” with an urgency – two little voices crying out in the distance.  I dropped what I was doing and bolted down the stairs thinking I was about to find one of my children injured. Setting foot in the back of the sanctuary – I could still hear their cries from a far – they were not sitting where they should have been.

I began opening office doors, cry room doors,  closet doors – all the time hearing their calls, but never discovering them behind those closed doors.   And then finally -I flung open the door to the outside corridor between the sanctuary and the fellowship hall.  And there they were : locked outside!

At once they began to sob:  “We thought you had left us!  We didn’t think you were coming for us!” Upon much consoling and wiping of tears, I convinced them that just wouldn’t have happened.

Their account goes like this:  they had come looking for me, stepped out into the walkway between the entrances, let one door close behind them before knowing if the other door was unlocked.  And so they found themselves – where they weren’t supposed to be.  I encouraged them to wait for me next time.

And so my story goes too.  Maybe yours too?

Often I struggle with the events of this world.  It is so broken by the effects of sin.  How can I go on?  I wander off the path distracted – looking for ways to fix this world;  maybe new government or laws, possibly stronger morals in our communities, or different politics, or new religious ideas…

The reality is, while those may be okay in some aspects, there isn’t true salvation in any of them.  When I finally remember this truth, that none of those things are are ever going to work, I come to my senses…

and it is then that I find myself desperately pleading with God Himself, “Come back!  Why have you left us here?  Have you forgotten us?  Are you ever coming back?!?”    Not unlike how my children were calling out for me…

The good news is that no matter what is happening on this globe, or where we’ve misplaced our hope for an artificial savior, He has not forgotten.  He’s not throwing open closet doors searching for us.  He’s not late or distracted.  He knows exactly what’s going on – He will come back for us at a very specific time that He has planned, just as He’s promised.

He is the only key to our hope and salvation.   His promise in John 14 is as true as it has ever been, and certainly one to cling to:

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

He’s been there at least a week now, maybe two.   The guest on our back deck is big.  really big.  And he makes me uncomfortable.  At first I didn’t like it at all that he had taken up residence. But, I’ve become accustomed to his presence in a “wincing when I slide open the glass door” kind of way.

That web he perches in is amazing.  His designs are unmatched, catching anyone’s attention who sets foot out my back door.  I suppose it is what he’s supposed to do, but it is still remarkable.

It is interesting how something so small can make me nervous and uneasy, creeped out, even jittery.  At first I didn’t even want to go near it.

So, the other day, I finally went out and stood right in front of the web to get a closer look and snap a photo or two.  And do you know what happened?  He ran, and fast.  He skittered right up that web and into the gutter.  I didn’t know spiders could move that quickly.  And I didn’t know he was afraid of me.

You know what this reminds me of?  Well, I’ll tell you.  For a few days I tried and tried to write about this spider and sin and how we need to be weary of it; be concerned, be watchful.  Because after all, the Bible says the devil is like a roaring lion trying to devour us all.  And my heart agrees with all of that.  My sinful nature can be devastating and I  must be vigilant.

But guess what?!?  That’s not what I need to write today, after watching that big ol’ spider retreat!  Nope.  I’m here to say that we don’t need to be AFRAID!  Sin and death are conquered!  We have true and complete victory in Christ!

Often I find myself fearful of the world and the moral and sinful failures we see on every hand.  The way sin seems to be running rampant can be completely overwhelming.   However, the truth remains that this is not a shock to our Heavenly Father.  All of this has been overcome by the power of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  And there is coming a day when Satan will be nothing more than a fearful, cowering, villain – afraid of his own shadow- just like the spider on my back deck- and he will be defeated!

These words from I Corinthians 15 sum it up, pretty well, giving the confidence to live without fear:

50 Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed— 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”

55 “O Death, where is your sting?  O Hades, where is your victory?”

56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

************************************************************

Since my folks have moved here recently, I’ve been having all these little snippets of memories from my childhood play through my mind.  One such memory is a hymn we sang in church regularly, and I can’t help but sing it in my heart today:

O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

Philippians 1:6 –  being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Not too long ago,  well, about 35 years ago, I began the journey…   Danville, Illinois was the place where I crossed the starting line.  I was five.

At age five, I found myself (pictured above, front row, first on the right, yellow frilly dress) in a children’s choir.  I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love music, singing, or being a part of a choir.   Even then I sat in the choir loft while my dad conducted rehearsals for the youth choir or the adult choir.  My place was in the alto section – always trying to fit into the harmonies.

I can’t remember what we are singing in this photo; possibly “I’ll be a Sunbeam for Jesus.” (And, even tho’ she says she doesn’t remember it, I think that’s my mom directing us.  I’d know the back of that head, or that red blazer anywhere…  )

Over the next few weeks I’ll be preparing to work with the children’s choir at my church.  Just the thought of it makes me smile, those sweet faces, their tender hearts and sometimes squeaky voices.   I can’t wait to get started.

Back then something was begun in me – a love for God and the fellowship of worshiping Him, voices united with others in singing.  It is unlike anything else.  The bonds that are formed when our hearts join together this way is unusual;  bonds with fellow believers, and a stronger love for our Savior.   What He began so long ago, He is still working in me – it is a big part of who I am and He is still making me into the worshiper He’s called me to be.

If I had time or a scanner, I could show you photos from all along this musical journey, how He’s shaped me and molded my talents to be this very specific musician-worshiper-pianist-singer-violinist-conductor – all a part of His design.      I’m grateful for this calling that He is fulfilling in my heart and life.  I’m thankful, too, that I get to see the children in my choir cross their starting line, believing this Scripture for them too: “that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”  May He continue this good work until He returns and we all worship Him for eternity.  

When feeling loss deeply, each of us processes differently.  Personally, I enjoy laughter.  I am aware this is not always the most appropriate solution.

However, today I am in need of levity.  As I’ve been reminiscing this morning about my life, and how I’ve been affected by my Grandpa, there are many memories.  But, there’s one that sticks out.

At age 5, I remember my grandparents venturing south of the border to visit us in Danville, Illinois.  Staying with us over a weekend, Pastor Stuermer, the pastor of our church invited my grandpa to preach on Sunday evening.

What may be important for you to know is that I dreaded Sunday evenings when I was 5.  The daughter of the youth and music minister, we were required to sit up front, and be still.  The sermons were intolerably long, and there was no escape such as children’s church.

When the time arrived and I realized my Grandpa was preaching, I decided to have a chat with him.  Surely he could help his granddaughter out, maybe make things quick and painless.  I was straightforward in my approach.  “Grandpa, you’re not going to preach as long as Pastor Stuermer does, are you?”   He laughed and leaned in, “Well, I guess we’ll just have to see how the Lord leads.”

It wasn’t looking good for me.

Even worse, when he stood up in the pulpit, he began his sermon by sharing our short conversation with the congregation.  And everyone laughed.  a lot.

Okay, so, I didn’t laugh back then- I think I may have tried to hide under the pew.  I can laugh now, grateful for my good-humored Grandpa.   And certainly happy to laugh, rather than cry, for a bit.