It’s been a little busy around here. Okay, truthfully, its been frantic. There’s not a lot of room for quietness or serenity on the holiday musician’s calendar. Add to it Emily’s exam schedule and end of semester home schooling activities, a husband’s high work demands, some baking and gift lists to fulfill, and, well you get the picture… The stress is enough to make this mama’s heart crack into a million pieces.
It isn’t just that busyness for me. Recently I finished another round of treatment. Listen, it isn’t that big of a deal, really. It isn’t. There is so much worse that could be happening in my little family’s life. Except that at the end of 16 weeks, I do feel like I’m an emotional disaster, loosing my mind at the busiest time of year. (It is certainly why you don’t hear much from me here, on the blog.) Definitely not what I imagine when I plan our Advent season.
So, the other day, as I was standing in my kitchen, making lists for baking supplies and outlining what I would bake when, I had a moment. It isn’t that kind of thing you want anyone to see – it could also be described as a meltdown, involving lots of tears and tissues. It all started because I couldn’t find a recipe… then, everything (and I do mean every possible emotion) came swirling around me. All of the emotion and stress of the past weeks just came loose like a tornado.
Am I the only experiencing a wild, unexpected storm in December?
Then, like an angel of mercy, this music played on my speakers. A sweet piano student had given me the Christmas record by Fernando Ortega. At just the right moment, I heard these words, that slowed the raging storm in my heart and mind to a peaceful calm that only HE can give:
Jesus, King of angels, Heaven’s light
Shine Your face upon this house tonight
Let no evil come into my dreams
Light of Heaven keep me in Your peaceRemind me how You made dark spirits flee
And spoke Your power to the raging sea
And spoke Your mercy to a sinful man
Remind me Jesus, this is what I amThe universe is vast beyond the stars
But You are mindful when the sparrow falls
And mindful of the anxious thoughts
That find me, surround me and bind meWith all my heart I love You, Sovereign Lord
Tomorrow let me love You even more
And rise to speak the goodness of Your name
Until I close my eyes and sleep againJesus, King of angels, Heaven’s light
Hold my hand and keep me through this night
In a strange sort of way, I’ve come to believe that Advent is the most wonderful time of year to experience an anxious heart and stress. Because, it is right now in the middle of all the holiday ridiculousness, my heart can bring into focus the truest story of Christmas! The Prince of Peace, Jesus, was born as a tiny baby and came to earth to bring the very peace I need.
From the beginning of time He knew that He was coming to bring peace, even to me, standing in my “December-baking-decorating – list making -holiday-busy- kitchen.” While I can’t fathom it, my heart is settled and quiet, resting in the very peace He has given to me. I pray you will find that same rest and peace for your heart this Advent season.
daily portion 
26 They piled a great heap of stones over Achan, which remains to this day. That is why the place has been called the Valley of Trouble ever since. So the LORD was no longer angry. Joshua 7:26 Achan’s name means Troubler. If we pile stones on our troubles and walk away from them, I believe God is honored.
Thank you for sharing the song Jesus, King of Angels. I want to read and reread this, to calm my anxious thoughts while dealing with chronic pain, emotions like a roller coaster. Your article assures me that I am not alone, and focuses my thoughts on our Savior; He is mighty to save, no matter what we are going through.