Its about two years ago now that things got a little rough. 2013 felt like a long and winding road. There was a doctor’s office involved, an unhappy diagnosis and treatment to follow.
Most people have their own version of rough. Life is not without affliction.
At the time, I walked the road in front of me and held on tightly to Jesus, because there was no other choice. The experience left me with new knowledge of trust and peace from Him that I would never have experienced any other way. Looking back I wouldn’t trade it.
Today, while I was playing in worship, I took a minute to remember…
It is kind of funny, because when you’re in the middle of something emotionally and physically difficult, you don’t always see very clearly. Back then, it was a moment to moment kind of living; many “one foot in front of the other” kind of days. Anyway, In 2013 I was leading worship every Sunday morning at a church, and there was one song that we sang together pretty regularly. You’ve probably heard it before. The words are poignant, but were especially meaningful to me back then.
Well, the Sunday after my diagnosis, I remember arriving at church and looking over my notes for the service – and I had chosen that song. Ten Thousand Reasons. I almost choked. How in the world had I planned to sing that song on a day when I didn’t know if I’d be able to sing at all without crying?
Honestly, I wasn’t sure I could give glory to God in the middle of this crisis. Faced with my own mortality and all of the unknowns ahead, I didn’t really want to sing this song. But, I did. Through tears I sang these words with the congregation, and as I did, my heart swelled full of unspeakable joy and newly strengthened faith.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul
Worship His holy name, Sing like never before
O my soul, I’ll worship Your holy nameThe sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comesYou’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to findAnd on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore
10,000. (Seriously – that is more than I can number right now. ) It isn’t 10,000 things, or stuff. It isn’t necessarily tangible or material. or my happy life events. Although all of that is from Him and deserves my gratefulness. But that 10,000? It is HIM and who He is, 10,000 different ways. I can’t really fathom it.
Two years ago I struggled to praise Him. But today, as I played this same song I knew in my heart : I am thankful for the promise of eternity. When that final day comes and eternity arrives, I will never run out of time or reason for worshiping Him.
daily portion 