For our fifteenth anniversary my husband rented a dumpster. This is not a bad thing; don’t think ugly thoughts about Michael. I had requested it, so he was indulging me.
The thing is – in our fifteen years together we haven’t moved in the last thirteen years. We haven’t purged closets, or the garage, or our storage areas. I mean, I’ve taken clothes and toys to good will from time to time, but I’ve never really cleaned out.
The problem is : We have collected stuff. Stuff we don’t need. Stuff we don’t want. We’ve kept broken stuff, used up stuff and stuff that we just don’t like anymore. fifteen years of stuff. And we were full to the brim.
The dumpster was delivered last Friday and all weekend we dumpstered. We sorted, piled, and organized bits and pieces of stuff to keep and after that we began pitching. All day Saturday and Sunday we threw away stuff. It was terribly hard work.
And it felt good. – We begin year sixteen of marriage free from the bondage of all that stuff!
I realized that there is nothing better than clean and organized closets. Items put in their place are refreshing and appealing, rather than overwhelming and controlling. I can’t even explain how good it feels to not be afraid or embarrassed of those closets and their contents anymore. Only the good stuff fills our storage spaces now.
So, Sunday evening when our dumpstering had come to a close I had time to think it all over. This messy situation isn’t too far from the story of my heart.
Although I am a believer, there are times when I collect my sinful fears, thoughts, emotions and desires – and I keep it all hidden in the dark places of my heart. Hard stuff, that I’d rather conceal than choose to look at and purge. Ugliness I’d rather be filled with, than confront honestly. And that’s just what the Deceiver wants me to think – that it is better and easier and more comfortable to keep it under wraps than to deal with it. That there is no true deliverance only emptiness. And there are a multitude of ungodly reasons to believe him.
But, what is the real truth? from Hebrews 12:
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
The Holy Spirit whispers to us, calls us, begs us to pull out that sin ; bring it into the light of day and then give it to the one who sacrificed enough to eliminate it permanently. Sins lurking in my heart are meant to be dealt with. I don’t have to reconcile with them – I need to get rid of them! That is His will for me : to live eyes wide open to the truth, empty of my sinful self, delivered from that sin, and filled with His goodness by His grace and mercy !
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There’s a song I’ve heard – a prayer of deliverance. I’m moved to repentance every time I hear it.
From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me O God
From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God
And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God
And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
No, I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want
daily portion 