We sat in the parking lot, the van completely quiet. The silence was deafening. “Well, here we are. Should we get out?” Michael asked.
The kids just stared at us. Doubt and confusion on their faces. “Why are we here?” No one said it, but it was printed across their expressions as plain as day.
We all got out of the van, all 5 of us, and walked into the pet store. I walked through the doors, holding Isaac’s hand, right up to the guinea pigs. We stood there staring for a while.
Finally, after a long pause, Michael said out loud the words that our children could not believe, “How about a guinea pig guys?” And even though Michael and I were standing there, with money in hand prepared to pay the price, offering what they had been asking for, no, begging for, Emily responded, “Is this a joke? This is really mean, Daddy.”
Of course we weren’t joking! We aren’t that mean. After all the tears and heart break of wishing to be pet owners, we would not do that to our children. But, we had waited a long time before giving them this gift ; waited to be sure they were ready to do the right thing. And they were not prepared to receive.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Jesus’ life account in the book of John. In chapter 14 He makes wild and crazy claims: that He is “the way, the truth and the life.” And I can’t get over it, how all encompassing those words are. He is everything. And He will deliver on that promise.
The problem is that I am a lot like my own kids. My response to my Heavenly Father is incredulous. Even though He regularly and consistently is who He says He is, living up to His Words, I don’t understand. My heart struggles to respond with belief to His truth.
I pray for things, as His daughter, and when He responds with truth and love, I stare at Him and say, ” Are you sure? Is this it?” Because I don’t know what to do with real love. I can’t comprehend His truth in its most clear, unobstructed form. Sometimes, I’ll admit, I I don’t walk through the door He’s opening because I am skeptical.
In spite of my weakest human characteristics, my unbelief is met with His most perfect, righteous character and His victory over death. Those moments of question are answered with the fact that He is not only able, but that He also has already has paid in full for every moment of my life, and every need has been accounted for.
He is the way, the truth and the life. He loved me enough to be all of those things for me – and for all who believe. This knowledge, when it settles in the depths of my heart, brings the beginning of understanding real love and being able to receive it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My children have eagerly welcomed this newest member to our family. His name is Wally Rascal Day. Yep. We bought them a guinea pig. Because they asked a lot. Because at this point we know it will be really good for them. Because we love them.
When they are all grown up and think of it, I hope they will have lots of have happy memories of Wally. But maybe, just maybe, they will also see our love shown to them as a demonstration of the truth of their Heavenly Father’s love for them. Most important of all, I pray that they will know and receive His love!
daily portion 