A few weeks ago I found myself staring into the big brown eyes of my little boy. Staring in disbelief. We were loading our bags for the beach trip, and he had packed his backpack just as I had asked him to do.
with 5,742 stuffed animals, his angry birds blanket, UNO, a Cardinals baseball cap and some candy.
I looked at him and said, “Isaac, what in the world?” What I really meant was: Why do you think you need all of this stuff while we are at the beach?
And he looked at me with such an earnest expression. “It is important, Mom!”
That was pretty much the end of it, because I knew there was no convincing him otherwise.
I thought a lot about that quick exchange while we were at the beach and in the days that followed. Regularly, and I do mean probably hourly in one fashion or another, I give concern and thought to things that do not matter. And I carry them around with me on my earthly tour, which makes it seem like they are eternal, when they are not.
I’m not referring to material or physical things, although that gets me too sometimes. Its the little bits and pieces that add up to an overwhelming multitude: my idols. my worries. my what ifs. I’ll give you a few examples: concern about my reputation, thoughts about my future or my children’s future, my right to control, my ability to manipulate a situation… you get the idea.
And what do I do? I gather them all up, cram them into a tidy sack and carry them with me, because, after all, they are all so very important. Sometimes they are tucked away, often disguised with a spiritual facade so that I can soothe my conscience. But no matter how I twist them, dress them up, or stare ’em down, they are still useless. Worse, if any of it is taking up more time in my mind or space in my heart than my love for Jesus, it is an idol. and that makes it a sin.
Ugh.
There are two truths, which stand out, that I have come to embrace. They are helping me unpack that bag:
1. The things that are not from Him, are worthless and should not be toted around. They are not eternal and I won’t be taking them with me to the after life, no matter how much I make them my earthly focus.
2. As a Believer here on earth, even if I’m messed up and sinful sometimes, I can believe that all will be made whole and right and new when He comes again. Which means there is much hope for me and my heart beyond the grave!
Revelation 21:4-5 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”
Well….
With these thoughts in mind, we head to Vanderbilt tomorrow for my first consult regarding my lymphoma. I have been unpacking the “old bag” today. Instead I am embracing my Jesus hard and long.
and I am grateful there is nothing else left for me to do.
daily portion 