Recently while I was at a home schooling conference, I attended a mind boggling workshop. The information shared wasn’t so complicated. It was more the presenter and her own life’s circumstances that shocked me.
She sat in a wheelchair at the front of the room. Her speech was slightly slurred due to a seizure she’d had earlier in the day. She didn’t address her own illness, but she did refer to her four children all of whom have severe learning disorders combined with various levels of autism.
Her attitude was innocent and positive. Her demeanor was relaxed and gentle. In the middle of her talk she said something that absolutely blew. my. mind. She said that everyone one of her life’s circumstances were a gift.
say what?
“Every one of life’s circumstances is a gift. You just have to choose to view it that way.”
Now, I’ll tell you this. I went into that workshop thinking I had stuff going on, that I had some sort of difficult circumstances in my own life. It didn’t take long, sitting in that room, listening to this woman speak to realize that my trials were pretty small compared to hers.
Since then I haven’t been able to forget about her and the talk she gave that day. Truly, each of us have our own struggles and pain. Life ebbs and flows with trials and mercies. I, myself right now am dealing with a diagnosis of T-cell lymphoma. The diagnosis itself has taken me to new places that I’ve never been before; my relationship with the Lord on my part has become more steadfast and constant, less wavering and faulty. He never waivers or falters in His thoughts towards me.
But never, did I ever consider lymphoma a gift. Not until she said those words.
However, as I look back at the twelve weeks since I began treatment, I can honestly say that He is doing a work in my heart: the uprooting of my sin and lack of faith; the drawing close in His care and affection for me; the new-found protection of my heart and mind in the midst of fears and anxieties; a more distinct knowledge of Him and also the ability to share this new strength of heart with others who are disheartened. All of these, plus many more are gifts. They have been carefully selected, by my Heavenly Father, just for me.
Though I’ve said it before, I’ll tell you again, I don’t believe that He created lymphoma. But, I do believe He has carefully orchestrated, in His sovereignty every moment and event surrounding my own diagnosis. And I am learning to consider it all a gift.
Today is another portion of that gift to me. After 12 weeks of treatment, I head back to the doctor’s office to see where things stand. More treatment? Another biopsy? A break from treatment? Through medicine and many prayers of saints, I am also hoping to experience the grace-gift of His healing. I don’t know what will happen at this appointment, what the next steps will be, or how we will need to proceed.
But, I’m grateful that I will walk through this day today, squeezing the Heavenly Father’s hand tightly and I will receive whatever comes today as a gift. amen.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
daily portion 