One of my favorite photos of my girls from a while ago…
(originally written May 5, 2010)
A few mornings ago I watched the Today show. I don’t normally watch, but I did that day. In the midst of their news and other fluff pieces they aired an interview that has been haunting me since.
I saw pictures of a young girl who had lost her battle with an eating disorder. Her mother and brother spoke of her illness and their inability to help. As her photos filed by on my tv screen, I looked into her eyes. They were empty. There was nothing behind them – no emotion, no vitality. I began to feel ill and changed the channel.
Over the course of the day thoughts passed through my mind. Why did she struggle? Did she not feel accepted? Was she abused? Could no one give her the aid she needed? Did she not know that she was loved?
As the mother of two young girls, I can’t help but wonder how to keep my sweet daughters from this battle. In today’s society it is so difficult to keep them from feeling like they aren’t good enough, or pretty enough – that they are not accepted by others. These emotions can take the fire from anyone’s eyes. It could leave any young girl empty.
Not long ago I read something and at first it was thought provoking. The author told of how she had begun to picture her children with signs around their necks that said, “I don’t know for sure that you love me.” Initially, it brought change to how I respond to my children. But it began to press on me. I had to work really hard to do everything right, to love my children enough to keep their young hearts full and happy.
However, as time has gone on, I’ve come to realize I can’t do it. I love my children with all my heart. And with God’s help, I can love them to the best of my ability. But there is no perfection in parenthood. I will make mistakes. I have the potential to say the wrong thing. I am likely to hurt their feelings or damage their egos.
As I searched for an answer to my dilemma, and there are a lot of secular solutions out there, I realized that there is only one option. Real Love. I’ve experienced its life-giving flow. I know its power and have felt it satisfy the deep longings of my heart.
“Here is love, vast as the ocean
Lovingkindness as the flood
When the Prince of Life, our Ransom
Shed for us His precious blood.
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing his praise?
He can never be forgotten
Throughout heav’n’s eternal days.
On the mount of crucifixion
fountains opened deep and wide
Through the floodgates of God’s mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide
Grace and love, like mighty rivers
Poured incessant from above
And Heav’n’s peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love.
No love is higher, no love is wider
No love deeper, no love is truer
No love is like Your love, O Lord.”
I can not love my girls enough to fill their hearts. But the Heavenly Father can. He can keep their hearts and minds, overflowing them with more love and peace than any earthly being ever could. He promises to love them with tenacity, with affections that will not end. Beautiful vessels, never hollow, but full of His life and love.
From Romans 8:
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
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