This morning I set out with my family on an expedition. We had a list a mile long it seemed of items to acquire. Most of them were mundane necessities, but there were a few that were important, even exciting.
My husband and I had decided it was time to purchase my son a bicycle. He is ready and he loves being outdoors with his sister. More recently though, his frustration has mounted when playing because he has been trying to keep up with her on her “big girl” bicycle while riding his little tricycle. When we told him first thing this morning that we were going to look for a bike for him his big brown eyes grew wide. And he said, “I would like a wed bicycle pwease.”
Anyone who knows my son, and his “Day family” stubborn streak, knows right away: there would be no satisfaction without a red bicycle. Now, I am a sucker. I know that things do not buy happiness. But I also know that I would love for my son to have a special bicycle that he loves. So, at that moment, when those words came from his lips, I said a prayer. I asked God to help us find the right size, red boy’s, bicycle for my little Isaac. here. today. in Chattanooga.
Suddenly, it seemed like my prayer was a request for a miracle.
All of this comes on the heels of a bitter week for me. I’ve tried not to focus on it, but I’ve been in a funk. The little things, and there are many of them : unanswered prayers and different concerns have been building. This week they all kind of rolled into a gigantic snowball, leaving me a bit cold, almost numb. It has culminated with lost sleep, tears and a nauseous stomach. What was God waiting for and why did He seem absent in so many different ways?
The situation has been offensive to me. I have been waiting for His presence and guidance in a few areas and I have felt very insignificant to Him. At one point I feel sure I said to Him: “These things are important to me! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?!?” When I calmed down, after that particular conversation I said to Him, “If I could just see you and talk about this in person, If you could just hold me for a little bit, I would feel so much better about all of this.” And do you know what happened?
A song came on, in my van. (yes, I was driving – so often that is when life happens to me) It’s an old Amy Grant tune but she sang it so sweetly,
In a little while we’ll be with the Father,
Can’t you see Him smile?
In a little while we’ll be home forever, in a while.
We’re just here to learn to love Him,
We’ll be home, in just a little while.
Back to the event at hand. We began our search at Dick’s Sporting goods. And I use the term “we” loosely. I stayed in the van initially with Mackenzie to feed her a bottle while Isaac, Emily and Michael went in to look for the red, boy’s, pre-schooler sized bicycle.
Walking down the aisle of the store, headed back towards the bicycles, I realized I should have known He would take care of it. There, was my sweet little boy, riding the perfect sized little red bicycle with Lightening McQueen on it! (we didn’t even ask for that, but He knew…) and a red-flamed helmet to boot! When we got back in the car, bike and helmet in our possession, it was as if the Heavenly Father said to me so gently, “Until we can be together, you are just going to have to trust that I hear you. I am with you. I know you. and I love you.”
And so that’s it. I can’t help but hope my son rides that little bicycle as long as possible. It is such a good reminder for me of God’s constant love and attention towards me and my little family. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for your love shown to us today in a red bicycle and helmet! I love you!
md
(written early spring, 2010… where does the time go?)
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