Deeper Breaths… my Christmas wish

Yesterday I played an offertory at church from the piano.  Nothing new here, right? It was a typical Sunday, with the regular goings- on of the day.  Except that I played my favorite Christmas song.  Something unexpected happened: the atmosphere became thick with His presence as I played my prayer to Him.  You could have heard a pin drop when I finished.   After the service, many complimented me and I was grateful.  However, most of the congregation couldn’t have possibly known: I was playing it for me.

No one knows, until now, how much this song has become my prayer.  It has become “my” song.

Okay, its not my song literally – someone else wrote it about Mary making a request for the Heavenly Father to send His Spirit to “hold her together,”  just after she’s found out she’s going to be the mother of the savior of the world.  I think I’d be praying the same thing if an angel had just appeared to me with such significant news.

No one has ever been given a task that can compete with Mary’s.  At least I can’t think of one.  And yet, every believer is given an assignment in the body of Christ.  At times, birthing new ideas, traveling new paths as His follower can feel monumental.

Yesterday was one of those tremendous days for me.  Not many know about it; most would not consider it a big deal.  But it is to me.  I took a new position, which will begin in January.  If I think about it long enough, as something my flesh needs to accomplish, I loose my breath.

Not long ago when it became apparent that I needed to follow Christ to new territory and do things I’ve not done before, I remembered Mary.  She did not hesitate.  In Scripture it doesn’t say the angel appeared to explain things to her and then she said, “Give me a week or two to think things over.”  No.  She immediately said, in Luke 1:

 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

And then she hopped up and hurried over to Elizabeth’s house, rejoicing and magnifying the Lord!   I wish I could have been so brave.  I had to think and pray a lot this time before I decided to do His bidding.  *sigh*

As Jesus’ birth drew closer, I wonder if she needed grace under the pressure of becoming a new mother to Jesus, God’s Son.  I like to think she was human enough that she needed to pray for the Spirit’s strength and mercy.  My new assignment is tiny by comparison to hers, and yet, I find myself breathing out these very words from one of my favorite Christmas songs, the one I played yesterday

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I’ve done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

This Christmas I find myself on a new road, terribly excited, praising God for His leading.  He’s offering this new journey for me to take with Him, and I’m amazed that He thinks I’m the right one…  So, I find myself asking Him to keep me together, shine His light on my path and make me worthy of this calling.  Only His Spirit can fill me and give enough mercy for me to be a part of this plan.  As I breathe in and out, deeper and longer, He will graciously give everything I need and more.  I know this Christmas wish is one He is prepared to answer, not just for me, but anyone who chooses to follow Him.