I’ve got all the time in the world this morning to sit and think. I’m right here next to sweet boy, Isaac, who is sick with his second round of a tummy bug… And while I pause for a moment by my favorite Christmas decoration, I have plenty to consider, from just a few days ago…
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I tried not to let my jaw drop wide open. Michael and I stared at our friend in disbelief. “She’s not coming back. She’s gone,” he said about his wife of 17 years, the mother of his three children. My heart jumped up, into my throat, making it difficult to speak, but I offered the best heart-felt words I could muster.
How does this happen? How does love and commitment get up and walk out the front door and a wife and mother follow? leaving behind the very ones she gave birth to, and the man she made a vow with saying, “forever”? I don’t understand. And I can’t fix it. And I can’t get my heart to come down out of my throat.
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Sometimes the beauty of the season can lift my spirits. But, today its not the tree, or my candy cane garland,
or my new favorite ornament,
or my special snowman lantern that lift my spirits – although they are all special to me and are lovely.
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Every time I think of that moment with our friend, and the many many other stories that make up the lives of the loved ones around us, I think and weep and pray and still I can’t make sense of any of it. There is so much darkness. so much grief and loss. so much sickness. And there is no answer. but one. There’s only One who can make all of this mess right. And that is what brings a flicker of true hope, mid all of the glimmering lights.
Thousands of years ago He came, born in a cattle stall, bringing with Him the promise of salvation. And now? Now we wait for Him to return with the promise of the redemption of all things, making all things new. He is our only hope, this Jesus. and so we wait. I wait, with my heart half-lodged in my throat – partly aching, but partly full of belief and hope again.
More than ever the simple words of this song, seem to be a plea from the depths of my spirit. Come soon, Jesus. You are the only one who can bring healing for this world.
Father enthroned on high,
Holy, holy
Ancient, eternal Light,
Hear our prayer.Lord, save us from the dark
Of our striving,
Faithless and troubled hearts
Weighed down.Come, oh Redeemer, come,
Grant us mercy.
Come, oh Redeemer, come,
Grant us peace.
daily portion 