At 2:30 AM on Sunday morning, the moment I heard it, I knew I was in trouble. An out of my control, kind of trouble. I heard the sounds of a sick little boy in the bathroom.
oh no.
I rushed in to help him, because that’s what Mama’s do. Shortly after I was sharing his distress in a very real way. You know what I mean, right? I’m not going to give detailed descriptions here.
oh no. oh no. oh no.
I laid on the couch waiting to help him again. waiting for another round. waiting to feel better. The hours were not kind and the waiting was long. really long. The clock slowed down to a standstill and I had plenty of time to torture myself.
Sunday was a special day on the calendar. The 9th of December was marked for Christmas programs at two different churches, one was first thing in the morning and one was in the evening. I had been looking forward to it for a long time. After all it is one of my favorite things to do. I relish playing for Christmas concerts of just about any shape or size.
And now… I was going to be ill while playing… there was no calling in, no one to fill in for me, I’d have to play sick or not. sleep or not.
At 9:30 AM, I left my house looking like death-warmed-over, my sweet Isaac in his daddy’s capable hands, and went to play the first Christmas concert. I prayed the entire way there, and I worshiped the only One who could bring healing to my unsettled system. I sipped warm tea and grew thankful. Thankful that I knew where my strength would come from…
And it hit me.
Saturday night I went to bed believing I could manage the Christmas programs on my own. I had been preparing to offer a narcissistic offering of praise, with “me” laced all the way thru it. Isn’t that nice? Rejoicing in Jesus from the piano, but believing I didn’t need Him. not one bit…
Well, I woke up Sunday morning, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that I needed every ounce of strength offered from this very Savior who’s birth I was preparing to celebrate. And in that moment of realization I was at peace, but invigorated all at the same time. He’s so good to remind me, every time I get carried away with my own self-ambition. And one more time, I was moved from a posture of confidence, to a place of neediness. Truly, it is Christ in me, the only hope of glory …
Can I say without boasting that it was glorious? The whole day, though I was exhausted and completely spent at the end, He was glorified. We raised our hearts and voices, proclaiming the birth of the Savior-all to celebrate Him. and it was magnificent.
Heavenly Father, Thank you for the precious gift of your Son. In these unexpected moments, thank you for reminding me that I need You more than I know – and for walking through them with me, giving me the very strength I thought I didn’t need. You have been gracious one more time… and I am grateful to know You will continue. I love you. amen.
daily portion 