He’d been away from Egypt for some time, tending sheep. A prince, who had become a shepherd living with the Midianites, he was hiding from his past. But, he was an Israelite – one of God’s own. I’ve always wondered if he thought he was hiding from God on the back side of the desert… or did he even know he should be hiding when it happened? or that there is no hiding from Him anyway?
Regardless, there it was, a Voice, calling out his name, from the middle of a bush that was on fire but not consumed. Out in the middle of the wilderness. absolute nowhere. Well, it actually turned out to be Holy Ground, which is a lot more than nowhere. a lot more.
In Exodus 3, as the story unfolds, and God narrates his plan of deliverance for the Israelite people, He tells Moses that he is an intricate part of the plan. On this side of the epic tale, it all seems quite natural to me that Moses would do what God is asking. Back then Moses had a lot of excuses to roll out, before He accepted the call and obeyed.
I see Moses as a hero. He saw himself as completely unable. Every Sunday School story, shows him to be a leader. But He felt like a stutterer. History declares his name as the leader of the Israelites who parted the Red Sea – but at the time, Moses seemed to think it was quite a risky business. And who wouldn’t?
Tonight I’m sitting here on the couch thinking. My Christmas tree has dainty white lights glimmering. It is not ablaze and there’s no voice coming from the center, but I wish there were. The year 2012 will always be framed in my memory as a year of decisions. Lots of them. Hard ones, at that. For once, I’d love for some nearby shrubbery to burst into flames, but not be consumed. I would be grateful to hear His voice boom out precise directions so that I could just know what to do.
Who am I kidding? In my heart of hearts I know the truth. Even now, I’m weighing every ounce of the decision in front of me. I’m as much caught up in my humanity as Moses was, prepared with the logical reasons of “why not.” And I’ve got a lot of them. All of these excuses are making it difficult for my heart to warm up to His answer. In fact, it has taken me a while to hear Him speaking.
This Christmas tree is a symbol of life and joy- His life beginning here on earth- also reminds me that He came so that I could not only have abundant life, but so that I could have His example to follow. I hear Him whisper, “Follow me.” His request, made loud and clear in Scripture, he repeats gently here and now. And I feel His message begin to burn, from the inside of my very being.
“Follow.”
Its easy for me to hear the beginning of Moses story and think, “Of course He should answer the call,” because I know from Scripture that it all turned out and God fulfilled the promises He made to Moses. At this point of decision, not knowing how my story is going to end, I’ve allowed doubts to creep in where they don’t belong. But, in these moments of peace, Moses story becomes my own. I can hear the Heavenly Father’s promises, whispered to me. And I can sense the presence of the Holy Spirit, which is a fire that does not consume.
I know I must follow farther, harder, deeper, longer.
Heavenly Father, As I prepare for this season of Advent, will you secure my wandering heart again? Fill me with the knowledge that you have an ending to my story far better than I can imagine or plan. Give me strength to follow you even through the most difficult decisions. amen.
daily portion 