(My sweet and spunky baby, almost big girl, Mackenzie…)
It occurs to me, briefly, while sitting on the floor of the bathroom, that I don’t have time for this. Seriously. Yesterday was the day, and who am I to question?
Monday morning, when the mandate became clear, I began a new and yet familiar adventure. It was time to set out and take the first steps. Mackenzie was ready. She told me so. She wanted to wear her my little pony underpants and use the potty.
Really? Now?
Something I’ve been waiting for, for so long, and praying for, is finally upon us. And Yes, I’ve been praying for her to want to go potty on her little Cinderella potty chair. I began to pray in earnest last week after a particular conversation with my sweet girl where (after asking if she’d like to go potty) she told me on no uncertain terms, “I will blow my nose, and I will make a wish, but I will NOT use the potty. ” and just for special effect she yelled, “NEVAH!” and ran away.
And I was left sitting in the middle of dashed hopes and dreams. Dreams of no more weekly pullups or wipes to purchase. hopes of no more over-washed and dried out hands, no more diaper genie… the list goes on…
So, why now? In the middle of a busy, no crazy, week when I am spread just a bit too thin- I get to start potty training. Let’s just move this week right into the “insanity” column.
And, that’s what I asked Him last night while laying in bed. When my mind wouldn’t slow enough to go to sleep, I decided to give him the “what for….”
“Why? Why would you give me what I’ve been praying for, at such a terrible time? It’s the wrong time, you know. Its all wrong.” (I figured, I’d just get it all out there in the open.)
and He said,
“I’m always on time. This is exactly the right time. This is a gift I’m giving you – and it is at just the best moment.” He wasn’t going to hold back either. “Don’t you know that I love you? I want you to do this potty-training thing in my strength. – If it was a breeze, at the best time in your limited, human opinion, wouldn’t you be doing it on your own? without me? You may not know it, but you NEED me to do this. This is the perfect time.”
Well. I had nothing left to say.
So often, I expect that His gifts (and their timing), are going to be exactly what I want, and when I want them. But that’s not what He promises. He promises his best, in spite of our earthly and finite requests.
And I’m reminded of His words in James 1, you know the part where He talks about trials and gifts…
16Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. 18 Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures.
All of it is from His hand, for my good, at the best time, preparing me to be one of His “first fruits.” I suppose that means being tested, even with potty training, to learn to do every thing in His strength. This time I’m learning that He is an On-time God. And that, through this short trial, is a beautiful gift.
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