homeschooler’s envy

Last night, at about 9:15, I found myself browsing Pinterest for a bit.  All of my little people were in bed, and Michael and I were unwinding at the end of a full day.  And there I was, looking through everyone’s desires and ideas and handicrafts and menus… Mostly harmless – I was searching for a particular idea of how to do something.  But, the outcome:  I came across a blog of someone’s newly updated home school space.

If you know me well, or even a tiny bit, you probably know that my little family lives in a quaint (and by quaint I probably mean small) split-level home. We do not have a separate bedroom for each child, there aren’t walk-in closets or even a large pantry in the kitchen.  Many newer homes have these types of amenities, but we do not.  And that’s okay, for the most part.  I get along just fine, except sometimes, when it comes to homeschooling.

I would love to have a dedicated room for home schooling where everything could be gathered together; books would be easily located, supplies at our fingertips, a lock on the door to keep my students and their rowdiness contained when necessary.  I’m just kidding about that last one.  (sort of)  It is a luxury of space that we cannot accommodate.  So, we make do.  A dedicated book shelf here.  A small cabinet there, seat work done at the table and read-a-louds on the couch.  For the most part it works out quite fine – and I know it.

Until I read a blog about someone’s newly remodeled home school space… with beautiful cabinetry and shelves and drawers and desks – maps up on the walls and scripture verses on blackboards and everything my creative heart dreams of.  Then I forget that our set up is successful.

Last night, my heart went there.  Before I knew it, I was a bright shade of green – wishing for someone else’s finery, disdaining my own blessings.  I could barely help it.  I was jealous.   Why can’t I have all of these things?  I NEED them…  can’t you hear the whine in my voice?

And in a flash, His words spoke to my heart:  These material things, the furniture, the stuff, it is not nearly as important as your children’s souls.  You do not need any of it to show them what is my desire for them:  to be like Me.  Everything you truly need to grow your children in my likeness you already have.  It is found in me.  When you help them pursue me, your homeschooling will be successful.  All of those other pins on pinterest, are just vanity.  Don’t let your flesh distract you from the important task at hand.

from Romans 13:

¹¹ And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. ¹² The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. ¹³ Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. ¹⁴ But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.

from John 15:

⁴ Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.  ⁵ “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Its a good reminder for me this morning….Stay focused on what is important.  I can’t allow my heart to wander off to these unhealthy places of jealousy.  (please understand me here:  Pinterest itself is not evil…my heart is dark and sometimes I struggle to keep Pinterest in the right place)  I need to “put on the armor of light” – and “abide in Him” –  And when I do, this journey we are on called home schooling will be a blessing to my children and it will be more successful than I can plan or imagine!