…that’s what I’m learning. I’m the wife of a man who works in the corporate world as a consultant. But recently, I find myself in this strange, strange world. Its a place of complete uneasiness and self insufficiency. I have no idea what to do with myself other than say, “Yes, honey.” and “What can I do for you? What do you need?” “Can I get you some water?” “Don’t you want to come down from there and hire someone to do this?” (Okay, I haven’t actually asked him the last question.)
Truthfully, I cringe. I cringe a lot.
Every time I hear the saw blade circle, every time I watch Michael climb the ladder to heights unknown, I close my eyes and breathe a prayer for safety and protection. and miracles. “Please don’t let my husband get hurt.” That’s what I find myself saying every time he gets outside working on the project.
Is that the brush of angel’s wings I hear in my backyard?
In my head I know that God is in the business of being the protector and the healer, so we are in good hands, right?
Of course, of course.
But, when it comes time to actually do the trusting – I feel myself faltering just a bit. Today I’ve realized there is a stark contrast to what has been my emotional reality and where my heart needs to be. I have to let these things go on so that I’ll learn to trust more. I mean, if all my husband does is ride to work each day and sit at a desk, sure that takes a little bit of trust. However, watching him work on his workshop doing things like: hanging from the roof, standing at the edge of the peak, or leaning way too far away from the ladder while balancing at a height that is unmentionable – all of this takes new levels of trust for me.
I MUST trust in this truth : God himself has come down from on high to this earth in order that He can keep us in His hands. And is there a better place to be, than inside His care? No. Today I feel this answer more keenly than I ever have before. I am so grateful for this lesson in trust, no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Especially since I have a son, who appears to follow in his daddy’s footsteps. No fear. at all. *sigh* I’m destined to keep learning how to trust, more and more.
daily portion 