enough

I’ve been in a tailspin this week.  Full on, out of control, round and round and round: I was helpless, with no brakes.

Yesterday, when I couldn’t even begin for a third day to write on the blog, and I didn’t feel like my children were manageable, and my dirty laundry had completely come into a life of its own, and the cooking and cleaning had come to a complete halt, and my baby girl still refused to sit on the potty, and my husband had some difficult changes in his building plans, and all of my home schooling plans felt tiny and insignificant and ridiculous….  that was when I decided to sit down and think.  and pray.

And I asked Him to help me reign it all in.  “Lord, what has happened here?  Why am I in this condition?”

I hit the replay button.  As I reviewed my week, I paused over a particular conversation.

I spoke with a friend.  A friend who has a huge mountain.  It is enormous.  It is not a, “Get some rest and it will be better in the morning,” kind of mountain.  No.  It is a “until eternity” kind of struggle, unless our Heavenly Father intervenes.  And in the middle of the conversation, I asked this friend, who has more on their shoulders than I could ever bear, “But, what about God’s grace?  Is it not enough, for you to apply daily to keep going?”

The answer from my friend?  No.

I felt smothered.  I could not breathe.  The life was sucked away as I tried to comprehend the thought.  The conversation took its toll on me, and those few moments were the catalyst…

Heavenly Father, If Your grace is not enough, how in the world am I supposed to make it through all of my life’s craziness, my shortcomings, my own humanity?   How do I dare to live without your grace?

As soon as I began the questions, these words from Scripture began the resuscitation, giving life to my very being:

⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Once again, it becomes crystal clear – and my spinning comes to a slow down – God’s grace is MORE than enough.  As I acknowledge my neediness and my complete dependence on Him, His grace swells to fill in the gap at my point of need. It is limitless! Even while I’m typing these thoughts, the brakes are on and my heart is soothed…

His grace applied to my heart and mind, preparing me for life – the laundry pile seems do-able, my kids don’t seem so far from my control, the cooking and cleaning might be fun again, our home-schooling plans are back on track and the potty-training? Well, He’ll cross that bridge with us when we get there, I’m sure of it.

Thank you Heavenly Father, for tenderly guiding me, for leading me through these valleys, and giving the grace to keep going.  Help me to remember Your Grace is sufficient- in every moment, for every step.   Thank you for being absolutely, positively, beyond question, ENOUGH.  Please help my friend to, once again find this same grace for life.  amen.