There I was, on a Sunday afternoon, standing in the women’s clothing section of Belk’s Department Store. I felt like I was trying to beat the clock, looking, searching for anything that would work before the store closed. Normally I don’t like wardrobe pressure, but certainly not for such an important event.
Nothing fit right. Everything seemed ridiculous. Clothes that I would usually like looked completely inappropriate. Summery blouses, flowery dresses, resort wear to formal business wear. It all just felt wrong.
wrong. wrong. wrong.
So there I stood, like a stranger in a foreign land, otherwise known as known as Ladies’ Sportswear, with tears welling up, completely sad and frustrated. What was I looking for? Well, I was trying to figure out what to wear to a funeral.
Now, I’m not actually going to a funeral. Well, not yet, I suppose. But, two weeks ago the proposition seemed realistic. My grandpa was in the hospital and the family had been called in to say their goodbyes. In line with those events, I was trying to be prepared, so that when the call came I wouldn’t have to run around town in a flap. I could pack my bags and catch a plane. Since then he has rallied and is actually back at home with my grandma. For the moment, things seem to have stabilized. Which is good, because it has given me time to think.
Over the past two weeks, since my shopping experience, I’ve had time to really consider the situation. What does one wear to a funeral? My grandfather is a believer. At 90 it is reasonable to think he is on the last leg of his journey, headed home to Heaven. I’ve been looking at Scripture, trying to get a clue about how to feel about this funeral that looms in the distance. For me, there’s a complete overhaul going on : how should I view all of these things?
The only sure thing about this earthly life is that it ends, not just for my Grandpa, but for us all. This fact deserves significant consideration, as much as I’d rather avoid thinking about it. That is why I’m writing this now, because my heart is trying so hard to understand. “Lord Jesus, please make it plain.” That has been my prayer.
First and foremost, there is good news to take into account! Let me share it with you:
from Philippians 3:
20 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,21 who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.from Hebrews 11:
13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them,[c] embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.and these words from 1 Peter 1:
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen[a] you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.
Here is the truth: if I believe fully with my heart what I’ve read over and over again, I cannot promote gloom and doom. This Scripture above is glorious, wonderful news. There are many, many, many more Scriptures that give so much confidence and peace. For those who are followers of Christ, death can be a glorious, celebration; a reuniting with our Heavenly Father who has been waiting for us. It doesn’t mean we, here, don’t miss them or can’t be sad by the earthly loss of their presence; it just means there is a solid, unshakeable confidence in the fact that there is something so much infinitely better than being here, on earth with us.
That is the hard part for me. To be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord, right? But that also means not present here, with me. My heart cannot contend with this information outside of the realm of a merciful God who loves me regardless of my faithless, selfish shortcomings. How could it possibly be that my loved ones should be taken? But, God himself promises to be present, the fulness in spite of loss, the sip of joy from a sorrowful cup, peace mid great turmoil. I don’t know exactly how to accept it, but to trust His lovingkindness and His omniscience.
I have never thought about death and funerals and dying as much as I have over the past two weeks. But, I can tell you when the day comes for me to attend a funeral- and it may be a long time from now, I don’t know- I know what I will be wearing. Well, I can’t tell you the physical clothing I’ll wear – seriously, I had little success at Belk’s. But, I can tell you that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will don a spiritual garment of joy, with accessories of peace and assurance. I can’t think of a more beautiful addition to my wardrobe than that.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. Psalm 116:15
daily portion 