We sat together in her nursery, my friend and I did. She showed me the new teeny tiny baby things that she has all ready for her baby, who is due any day. My friend doesn’t know it, but she is glowing. with anticipation. with a lovely maternal aura. She’s ready.
Well, as ready as she can be…
Who can be ready for the long nights without sleep? Or a baby who spits up inordinate amounts? Can one be prepared for the emotional responsibilities that grip the heart tightly like a vice? How about the dirty diapers and mountains of laundry? And this is just during the first week of motherhood…
Today when I was with her I considered warning her… but I decided against it… She’ll know in good time.
And then I thought about offering her a bit of Scripture… words that usually get me thru all of the disasters and mis-steps, the long winding roads and unexpected drama of motherhood. But I thought better of it, because… well, because I struggled to believe them myself this week.
You know the words, the Scripture from Lamentations that remind us that His mercies are new every morning… Every ounce of my being tried to take heart in those words each day last week. As the sun came up, I told the Lord I was going to partake of His mercies. And I did. He was faithful to supply.
But, the problem was with me last week… Each day, as time wore on, I become weary in my calling. And I did things like: I lost my temper, I threw my proper attitude out the window, I lost my temper again, I acted haughty and prideful, I lost my patience… you get the ugly, sinful picture, right? And I abandoned all grace and mercy. Instead, I went down the “I’m only human” route and by bedtime I was clinging to that same Scripture, hoping for a better start tomorrow.
This week, I realized something. It was when I had just finished phonics with Isaac, was about to begin piano practice with Emily and was between one of Mackenzie’s “bappie withdrawal” episodes, all of which requires extra grace. It was then I found myself tiptoe at the line- just even with my limit.
And I said, not really expecting an answer, “Why? Why can’t I make it thru the whole day, limitless inside His grace? ” In my heart of hearts, I was giving up, making plans for a fresh tomorrow…
But, faithfully, He responded, “Because my mercies aren’t just for morning… they are for evening and mid-day- and every step of the way in between… You can have a fresh start whenever you need it, not just when the sun is coming up.”
It is true that morning is a great time to “begin again,” but because of His mercy, I don’t have to wait. His grace rolls along side my every move, flexible and agile, just the way a mama needs to be – and He is able to weather every storm with me… His mercy is perpetual, ongoing, always available. I just have to take notice, and step into the flow.
Every letter of these words are true:
21 This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!”
That’s what I wanted to say to my friend who is about to give birth for the first time: ” His faithfulness is so GREAT, it has no ending, but always a new beginning. And in this new calling of motherhood His mercy is exactly what you need for every moment of every day! There is more hope in Him. always more.
amen. and amen.
daily portion 