I have memories of my Great Aunt Betsy, tucked away in my heart. My sister and I spent a lot of time at her home during our grade school years. Many overnights, and a lot of Sunday afternoons. I loved spending time with her. Her sweet and gentle spirit was constant; she showed me Jesus, often when I needed it the most.
She also baked. Whenever we stayed with her it seems she had these tiny chocolate chip cookies on hand and I ate exponential amounts of them or Rocky Road bars, while drinking several glasses of chocolate milk. But the Rocky Road bars -those were my favorite. I have the recipe (in my grandmother’s handwriting) and I’m considering making them this afternoon.
At any rate, I have these memories of chatting with Aunt Betsy at the kitchen table while enjoying our snack. One conversation I remember in particular. The circumstances, when I think of them now, make me giggle. But they weren’t funny at the time. My sister and I were required to share a double bed when we spent the night at her house. And there was one night where my dear, lovely sister became very frustrated with me (something about crossing on to her side of the bed) and she pushed me right out of the bed. with significant force.
That was on a Saturday night. Sunday morning we went to church, and my forehead was adorned with this huge knot. I was not thrilled at the time. I remember that afternoon talking it over with my Aunt… I’m pretty sure there were rocky road bars present… but, she encouraged me that I couldn’t stay mad at my sister. I would have to forgive her.
What I wouldn’t give to have a chat and a treat with my Aunt Betsy right now. this very minute. I’m struggling. I’d like to forgive, I really would. In fact, it wasn’t long ago that I blogged about how easy it was to forgive someone else… and it was. Typically I’m not one to hold a grudge. I mean, I forgave Marilyn for pushing me out of bed. But this time, its different- it seems so much harder.
This time it is personal. I’m not just angry, although I am a tad-bit mad. My feelings are hurt – my heart has been squeezed tightly and wrung right out. I have no idea how to get back to a place of forgiveness… how do I get there? I’m not sure even Aunt Betsy could help…
But it is during this season of Lent, I’m reminded of Jesus. He forged the path of redemption and forgiveness himself, through the pain of being beaten and hung on a cross ’til death. Truly, it was my sin, my offenses that put Him on the cross to die. And yet, on the other side of His death, with His resurrection secured on the timeline of history, He offers forgiveness, so that I am forgiven. so that I can forgive.
If He can look at me with eyes of compassion after all that I’ve done, how can I do any less for someone else? Its a difficult road, a bit rocky with stones of anger and frustration, hurt and even injustice. But, I don’t have to walk it alone… He’s already been there, so that I can walk the road of forgiveness too.
In Colossians 2, Paul reminds me that Christ has accomplished the necessary work, forgiving us:
11 In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins[c] of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, 12 buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. 13 And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. 15 Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.
I am so thankful for these words today. It puts in perspective for me just how much I am able to forgive, because I truly am forgiven and free.
Thank you Heavenly Father. Thank you for your love that meets me in the middle of the afternoon, while I’m trying to survive this “rocky road” life.
Well, in honor of my Aunt Betsy and all of the wisdom she offered to me so long ago, I’m headed to the kitchen. I’ve got some rocky road bars to make.
daily portion 