It was nap time. She was supposed to be asleep. But, it was day three of illness ; everything was undone and out of order. From behind her door I heard whimpering. I went in and found her laying under her covers, with big wide eyes, full of tears… her little fever-blistered lips were whispering, “Mommy I want you.”
That was my cue.
I scooped her up and cradled her in my arms, rocking her. She held her bappie (otherwise known to the rest of the world as a pacifier) in her little fingers that were covered in sores, her blanky nearby. But, all she said was, “Mommy, I want you.” She was in the kind of pain that her bappie and blanky could not comfort – and friends, that is rare. We sat there on the bed for a while, and I held her gently in the quiet, stroking her soft golden hair.
There are times when even the bappie won’t do.
Often she says she needs me, but its only because she wants something- like goldfish or a different book or toy. And there are times like this one, where she wants me. She knows that she’s desperate for the comfort that only mommy gives.
I can honestly tell you that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In moments of dissatisfaction or impatience I call out to my Heavenly Father, “Give me what I want!” or “Help me out here!” And, even in my selfishness, He is faithful to give strength and assistance – not always exactly what I want, but He is a merciful Father who has never abandoned me.
But I think that sometimes He moves in especially close during the difficult, all-encompassing, heart-breaking trials so that He’s ready; ready for when I come to the realization that I’m desperate for Him. And when that happens, when I call for Him, “I need you, Daddy,” He is there to hold me close in His arms.
I suppose what He really desires is that I’ll set aside everything else. That is so hard. I am super good at reading books, listening to helpful webcasts, searching online – and those things are helpful. But in all honesty, those articles and paragraphs of information and websites are meaningless in comparison to my Heavenly Father’s comfort and care.
and these are His thoughts, words He ordained:
Deuteronomy 33:27
27 The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms;Psalm 94:18-19
18 If I say, “My foot slips,”
Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up.
19 In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul.
He’s just waiting for me to remember : all that other stuff just won’t do…
daily portion 
Supermom to the rescue!