I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

Hump day is over.  Well, at least the school portion of our day is over.  I just finished up day three of our first week back to school for 2012.  In my mind, starting school up post all of the Christmas festivities is much harder than gearing up for the first week of school in the fall.  In the fall there is hype and new books and freshly sharpened pencils and unopened boxes of crayons.  But now, in January there is just rain and blah and half-used erasers.

Monday.  Monday was our first day back after Christmas and for the first time ever in my home schooling career it was lovely.  I had spent time with Jesus on Sunday evening making plans, confident that since He is able to save the world with just one word, He also has the power to save my school week ; He helped me pull my act together and get us back on track.

At the end of our first day back, I was exhausted but very content with our successes. Emily remembered how to do her math, Isaac wanted to hold his crayon properly and Mackenzie, well she was just happy  to sit in her booster seat and listen to stories and get in on the action.  My friends, that is bona fide success.

So, it might come as a shock to you that on the morning of our second day back to school, I was not so sure of myself.  I woke up with a fuzzy head – you  know where you can’t quite make heads or tales of what you’re supposed to be doing – and my children were running around excited and I, I needed coffee.  I could hear the words of a familiar book that we read around here a lot circling and circling around and around in my mind:

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…”

Except, I didn’t.  I didn’t think I could.  In fact – for a moment I almost thought I couldn’t.  All bets were off when I broke my french press coffee pot in the sink.  The only thing I was prepared to do was cry.  That I knew I could do.

Standing in the doorway to my dining room, looking over my school train in the process of de-railing, I heard Him say,

“Of course you can’t.”

Well, that’s encouraging.

“My dear daughter, you never could.  Only I can.  I’m the one who gives you the strength, day in and out.  Yesterday was absolute proof that I alone can help you through each day.”

He promises that He is more than enough.  He promises to walk the full 24 hours of each day by my side.  And He promises that everything He is, He will give to me – portions of strength and power and wisdom to accomplish whatever it is He is asking of me.  Of course, I know these things in my head. Long ago I learned all of the Scripture to site these promises.  And yet, it is only mid-experience that it clicks and I KNOW it in my heart.

Yes, yes, I know – I am a slow learner.

Well, by His grace Tuesday was back on track before all was lost.  And Wednesday has been quite a smooth ride.  I’m working on remembering this every day : It is a moment by moment surrender, relying on His strength.  I don’t have to be the little blue engine pulling this train uphill alone.  Nope, I’m just along for the journey.  But, I feel confident: I know He can.

and that is all I need to know.

amen and amen.

Some of His words that are my very favorite:

Ephesians 3: 14-21

¹⁴ For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,^[c] 15from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, ¹⁶ that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷ that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹ to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 
²⁰ Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, ²¹ to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen