Just after the 2:00-ish recess each day in Miss Caldwell’s third and forth grade class, I sat at my desk and listened while she read aloud. I’m sure Miss Caldwell read through a lot of literature that year. But, there is one book that stands out in my memory. My third grade teacher read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to us, while she passed around fruity, chewy gum drops for us to eat.
You could earn more than one gum drop with proper behavior and well – spelled words, I think. My memory may be off on that count. At any rate, I remember sitting, listening intently. To this day it is a favorite book of mine, which is why I’m reading it with Emily right now. It is whimsical and completely serious all at the same time.
Tonight Emily begged me to keep reading, (just as we used to beg Miss Caldwell to do) “read more! read more!” We were nearing the final chapters; amid the chatter of my two year old and the interruptions of my five year old, an intensity had settled around our shoulders, there in the dining room. I couldn’t do anything but keep going.
As an eight year old, I don’t recall noticing the spiritual implications of the story. Edmund, the betrayer is forgiven by Aslan, who then gives his life in place of Edmunds, to satisfy the White Witch’s demands for blood. My reading became choked this evening, my eyes teared up, as we continued through the chapter.
When the great table cracked in half, and Aslan appeared resurrected, I had done all I could do. I set my book down and looked Emily in the face. I took a moment and we talked about how Edmund in his betrayal is a picture of us and our sin, and Aslan is the picture of Jesus who has died for our sins. Tears were welling up in both of our eyes… At nine, she gets it.
I am a betrayer, just like Edmund. I can’t erase the thought from my brain, no matter how hard I try…
Ephesians 2 is one of my favorite chapters, helping me to remember more of my story:
And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Jesus willingly offered Himself as a sacrifice for my sin and has forgiven it all. He has made the provision to reconcile all wrongs and make them right. I have known this fact almost my entire life and still I don’t totally understand it. Yet, I am overwhelmed by His gift. His grace. His love.
As we read the story tonight, I paused for a moment over one short passage where Aslan is speaking about Edmund; I imagined that Jesus was saying these words about me…
As the others drew nearer Aslan turned to meet them, bringing Edmund with him. “Here is your brother,” he said, “and – there is no need to talk to him about what is past.”
Heavenly Father,
I am so thankful today for your forgiveness. It has washed over me once again, flooding my heart, bringing so much joy. Help me to remember and live here, in this refreshing, life-giving place. amen.
daily portion 