(originally written february 19, 2010)
I have a vivid memory from my childhood. Its front and center, like it could have happened last night. Its evening – my sister and I are pajama clad, teeth brushed, cuddled up in our beds – waiting. The master of ceremonies if you will has yet to arrive and perform our bedtime routine. Finally my dad arrives for kisses, hugs and prayers. My sister says – “Snuggle me daddy.” And he does – he kneels down beside the bed and holds her close. He gets up to leave and I call out, “Daddy, snuggle me too!” And as he kneels down and puts his arms around me, he’s barely hit his knees when I say, “Okay daddy that’s good. I’m done now.”
It was just last night.
Since then we have relived that moment, my dad and I. And we chuckle over it. I’m not a snuggly person at all, really. I’m hot, I’m bothered, I’m distracted. I just don’t have it in me. And that’s what makes what I’m about to share a bit unusual.
I’m a mom now – I’m the one giving out kisses, hugging necks and snuggling my children before bed. And I rarely say no when asked – even if we’re on the third round of snuggles, I can always find a reason for one more when they ask. And I can’t tell you how often I push away the thought that all too soon my children will no longer make these requests.
But it happened. My sweet Isaac was ready for bed. I went in for good nights and he said it. As I hugged him, his words were, even at age 3, were swift and to the point. “Okay mommy, that’s good. thank you. night night.” That’s it? Yep – he was done. I left slightly deflated. And I did not chuckle. not at all.
I’m so sorry dad. I had no idea until tonight.
None of this changes the fact that I will give out, without question, any hugs, or kisses or snuggles to my children on request. Because I love them.
I find it comforting to know that in spite of how often I push my Heavenly Father away, he doesn’t leave. He is there to hold me in life’s up and downs – and He loves me without reservation. He is a far better parent than I could ever be – with unlimited affection just for me.
Matthew 7:11 – If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
I hadn’t thought about this verse from this perspective before. I love you, My heavenly Father. Thank you for snuggling me a bit longer tonight. I really needed it. Good night.
md
daily portion 