There is a small white bungalow on the corner of Crabtree near the subdivision where we live. For the past eight years that we have lived in our home, we have passed the little house almost daily. Always immaculate on the outside, with carefully painted slate blue trim and a yard that was always perfectly maintained – It wasn’t fancy, but nicely kept.
Often we would see the owner outside, caring for her lawn and her flowers. She was small in stature, closer to heaven in age and moved slowly. But, she was steadfast and managed to get the job done. MIchael and I remarked how we felt like we knew her, watching her life outdoors. We saw her in a Wal Mart vest and imagined that she was a greeter there. For several years we observed her, but truly, we had no idea of her life.
Not long ago we got a different view. Sadly, one afternoon we saw the ambulance at her home. We aren’t sure if she was moved to a nursing home, or if she passed away. Clearly, she no longer lived there because quickly the property went downhill. Even worse, our imaginations of her were turned upside down.
From what we can gather, the house was transferred to new owners. As that transaction took place, we literally watched one weekend as all of this little lady’s possessions were put out on the front porch. It was amazing to see all of the “stuff” we saw sitting on her lawn surrounding the house.
Upon seeing what had been on the inside of the house we realized that we did not know her at all. She had been vigilant at keeping the appearance of her house pleasant, but what was on the inside was less than pleasing. In fact, some of it was refuse. My heart was sad.
Unfortunately, the new owners have chosen to keep the property just like it was the day they moved in. The place is virtually a junk yard now, adding to it their own “stuff.” Every time I drive by the corner of Crabtree I can’t help but think of my own heart.
I am so careful to keep up my appearances, and diligent to be sure I am the good christian you might want to see. But, it doesn’t matter how I look on the outside. Because, whatever happy, cleaned up, religious front I present to you, my heart is still a junkyard. Its true – there is ugly sin and refuse that need to be dealt with. What you see on the outside, is not always indicative of what you will find on the inside.
There is a Scripture verse that says : (this is my paraphrase) ‘Man sees on the outside, but God sees the heart.’ Often this is a comfort to me because God can see my true motives and knows who I really am or who He’s called me to be, even when others can’t see my best side. However, if this Scripture is true, it also means He can see my true motives and who I really am, even when its not my best…
I am reminded that how I appear to others means nothing if I haven’t taken into account the appearance of my heart.
But the good news of the gospel is this: (from Ephesians 2)
“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved…”
Even though my heart may be full of sin, resembling a big pile of garbage at times, He is faithful to forgive all of those sins. He is able to give me a clean and righteous heart. It is by His amazing grace that my heart does not have to be like the house on the corner of Crabtree.
(written August 5, 2010)
daily portion 