Seriously! Did you know its almost 2011? Somehow, I find myself caught off guard by the year’s end. I know that we have passed by my birthday in October, Thanksgiving in November, my daughter’s 9th birthday, and the entire advent season which ended with Christmas just a few days ago. Yes, I am aware of all of it – and still I am astonished at the fact.
I am completely unprepared for the New Year.
2010 was quite a year. I started a garden and a blog. I learned to bake bread from scratch. I completed the process of potty training my middle child.
Ultimately, in hind-sight, it feels successful, even triumphant. Amid the surprises, between the joy and sorrow, sickness and health, uncertainty and peace we survived. God has brought my precious family through another year, and I really can’t take any credit for it at all. Bless the Lord for His merciful hand working in our lives.
So, what’s my problem? Well, its almost 2011. The problem is that I am a planner. If you know me personally, you know this is true. I like to plan and make lists and be prepared… but 2011 isn’t letting me. I have no idea what next year holds. And I don’t like it one little bit. I think I vaguely remember feeling the same way at the end of 2009. The whole situation is really exhausting.
I wish I wasn’t such a slow learner.
Being the administrative type that I am really is a cover for one thing. It sounds good up front, like I’m all organized and such, but the truth is I plan because I’m a control freak and I am not good at trusting anyone with my destiny. Do I know what is going to happen in 2011? No. Can I plan for anything and everything that might come up? absolutely not. But, I spend a lot of time, at the end of each December trying to figure how I can take charge of the coming year. Man, am I emotionally worn out!
I read this thought somewhere recently: “Exhaustion comes when we take on a responsibility God never intended us to have. ” This thought is reiterated in Scripture again and again and again – so much so, that I could never quote all of the verses here. But one sticks out in my mind –
“Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.”
This verse asks me to do the one thing that can relieve my exhaustion and heal my anxieties. It brings promise of peace if I’ll just surrender. I need to waive that white flag because I have no idea what He has planned for 2011. And really, it was never mine to plan in the first place. Only He knows what is coming. With Him in control there is success, there is help, there is hope, there is victory. I can rest and rely on the fact that HE is more than ready – and that is more than enough! Praises be to Him alone! Amen and Amen!
daily portion 